Husband with no future plan?

Question

My husband who is 56 and an attorney, had no retirement plan, no disability plan (solo practice), no life insurance, no long term care, no savings, and his home business is so disorganized it is frightening. He also can never seem to get his business off the ground and wont advertise or do anything to promote it. I finally made him a website and he is getting some clients but very few. I work for the state and make good money and have retirement for myself, disability, and am getting a long term care plan. We have been together 12 years and just got married last fall. He now has health insurance through me but even though he agreed to get coverage for all the rest he still hasnt done it. What is going to happen to me later on if he becomes disabled and what if he has no retirement?

I had a prenup drawn up prior to marriage. It covers everything. Give him more time? I have. 12 years. Now I worry about my retirement and my future financial stability. Anyone who thinks for better or for worse is taking advantage of someone else is thick. I married him because he promised to take care of these things within 3 months. He hasnt.

He loves to work at home - sleep till 10am, drink coffee and watch TV or read the news on the internet. I work hard and am tired of it. I think an office away from home would be a good start.

Answer 1

show him a movie or document which shows a person & families who r affected by their overconfidence & laziness
tell him what is the position when there is no money.,

Answer 2

These are things you should be pushing with him. He really needs to pull his finger out because he is not getting any younger. Your fears are justified and he really needs to be a bit more motivated. At the very least he should be getting life insurance which has a disability clause in it. As for a retirement fund, I think he has left his run too late....because he would only be paying into it for a few years before he retires, so he wouldnt accumlate much at all.

Insurance agents will come to your house to discuss a person's insurance needs. Maybe you need to phone an insurance company and organise a time when someone can can call around and talk to your husband.

Lets just hope that the more clients he gets, the more he will want to get. Maybe he has gotten used to not working much and thats the reason he has lost his motivation. Maybe when he gets stuck into work again, he may decide he likes it. You could even get some new business cards printed for him. Make them look jazzy and professional. Put an add in the telephone directory or local Newspaper. The more exposure he gets the more clients he will attract. Get his office re-painted and make it look more business like. Give him a new outlook, make his work surroundings more appealing then maybe he will feel like a "professional" again. Wake him up in the morning at 7am...give him his clean crisp white shirt and his clean suit and tell him its time to go to work. Home businesses, if not treated like a real business can fail very easily. Maybe if he moved his office into a busier part of town it may make him feel like he really is at work. At home, he can please himself when he "goes to work" A person who works from home needs to be disciplined. Maybe thats the reason his business isnt going great......its too easy. If he had an office he had to travel to then he would have to get up at a certain time and he would have to go to work.

Whatever the case, he really does need to be doing something positive for both of your futures. Good luck

Answer 3

Get him to start putting a little money in the bank into CDs or something his or your bank can help you with now before there is nothing when something goes wrong. My husband became disabled at 47 at work when he blew out his knee and back in a fall after 7 years of hard work. Because of his back injury there is only a 33 % chance of recovery we opted for no surgery at this time until the percentages go up. He didn't have much in his IRA but what he did have he put in the bank and has added CDs for retirement. Please talk to someone to help you and your husband there are people you can talk to who can even help with disablilty insurances on your house if your paying morgage still. Good luck

Answer 4

It sounds like you are the breadwinner in this relationship. He sounds totally disinterested in working - he is incredibly lazy and maybe he is not really interested in being an attorney anymore. Since you are newly married, I'd basically tell him you have 6 months to find a job. There is no reason why you should be supporting your husband. He should be contributing financially to the marriage along with you. As for your last question, YOU are the only one you can rely on at this point, make sure you take care of yourself financially. If after 6 months he isn't working, I'd leave him.

Answer 5

"What is going to happen to me later on if he becomes disabled and what if he has no retirement?" You will be responsible for him if he becomes disabled and your retirement plan will have to take care of both of you.

Also if you divorce, he will get half of your retirement plan that you have built up during the time of your marriage.

You need to do something to get him motivated. This man is 56 years old, not a child. Something needs to be done now in order for him to cover his responsibilities.

Edited to add: I read your additional details. Smart girl for having the pre-nup. I think he has had plenty of time to take care of his end of the bargain. It sounds like his lazy childish ways are draining your love for him. You have to decide how you will proceed. Could it be time to consult an lawyer? Not him, of course. A divorce lawyer.

Answer 6

*****What is going to happen to me later on if he becomes disabled and what if he has no retirement? ****

that was your question...here is your answer.

You're going to do just like any other "real" person would do. Whatever you have to.

It's a known FACT that 85% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. You are not alone.

Very few people get to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous, after retirement or a disability strikes.

You'll have to handle the "retirement" for both of you. Just like others do and have done for years. Many couples have done this for years. It's nothing new. The old saying is "opposites attract". It's very true. Nothing wrong with it, if you are of sound mind and are willing to "give" the extra % needed.

BUT...... You are living proof to both my children, and what I say to them everyday.....NEVER get involved with someone thinking they will change "just for you", and because you think you can bring about this change.

Thanks for the post...I will be saving and printing it for my kids...as further proof of what I tell them.

Answer 7

You really have no right to change his wants since you've just been married a year. Assuming you are of a similar age, you should have your own stuff in order, savings, insurance, etc. that will see you through should anything unforeseen happen. These days, you just don't rely on a guy for financial security - women do have careers. Talk to him about things, but don't shove yourself down his throat about this....

Answer 8

Wow - you really seem very shallow and I'm sorry to say... a little slow.
So, you've been together for 12 years and you had no idea about his financial situation????
Now, you're married (for richer or poorer, till death do you part??? Right????). And now after you're married, you're worried about him becoming a financial liability, and on top of that you seem like your pressuring him to do more than he's ready to do. I'm sure all this is causing a lot of tension in your new marriage.
Here's my advice: Lay off him and slowly nurture him over the next several years and let him take baby steps.
And in terms of finances, share what you have, that's part of marriage.

Answer 9

He desires to get inspired approximately getting issues performed. i'm guessing he's no longer too inspired on account which you're constantly there to capture him whilst he falls. i contemplate whether you may desire to allow him on my own and notice how he does on his own for awhile. this might nicely be a no longer person-friendly subject, i understand. yet consistent with hazard there's a deeper undertaking to this, which comprise melancholy. consistent with hazard your question will fare extra clever in the psychological wellbeing area.

Answer 10

After 12 years together, I think this didn't come as any surprise to you. I have to ask why you would marry a man with no life goals and poor money skills? You may want to run from this situation as fast as you can.