2007-05-31 03:52:47 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are absolutely right ignore the other comments and simply keep him away.We have a right to our opinions and people like that are unnatural no matter what feeble excuses they give.
2007-06-03 11:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by realdolby 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you already know the answer to this question, but are maybe hoping that someone will come up with an answer that
justifies your own predujice.
But that is only my opinion, which you can take or leave, as you wish.
Unless you have some solid, valid reason to believe that your grandson will be in danger.... and by that I mean, they are likely to put him at risk by irresponsible behaviour - then you have no reason to worry.
So unless they are drunks, drug addicts or dealers, or have any criminal tendencies, ie taking him out to rob an old lady or hit her over the head, you have nothing to fear.
In my experience with gay men they tend to be more caring and sensitive then straight guys, they are more likely to pay your grandson attention, ie not leave him to do whatever he wants, like watch unsuitable tv programs or surf the internet while they do something completely different (I know that is slightly stereotypical, man watches football, kids do anything as long as they don't interupt...), but it is more likely to happen.
Also his uncle is his uncle no matter what, you cannot change that - it's a fact. So why should your grandson miss out on the company of him, and the benefit of having an extended family relationship?
Being gay is not a disease that can be caught, it isn't infectious.
If your grandson chooses to one day tell you he is gay, it won't be because he was led astray by his uncle, it will be his choice and what he feels is right for him.....
consider this question.....
if he did tell you that he was gay - would you treat him any differently? He would still be your grandson, the one you love and care for now - he wouldn't have changed at all, he would still be the same person!!
What people chose to do sexually in their private lives, should be left exactly there, private. It isn't and shouldn't be up for discussion (unless of course they are child molesters or rapists, but that is another topic altogether..).
If your grandsons Aunty was married but you happened to find out that when she and her husband make love they like to tie each other up - would you be asking the same question?
Please reconsider your opinion, as I truly believe that you have nothing to worry about, and they uncle and his partner should not be made to feel guilty or ashamed of what or who they are.
Hope this helps.
2007-05-31 04:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!!
you need to ask yourself the same question but change the sexes....I'm sure if it was your granddaughter staying with your gay niece and her partner, then you would not be so hesitant.
has this man ever given you cause to worry about a child's welfare while in his care?
has this man ever forced his views on your grandson?
or is it some miss guided belief that, by your grandson staying there over night he will suddenly come home 'gay'???
my brother is gay and he came out when he was16 (although everyone kind of knew) he comes over every week to give me a hand and is a huge role model to my boys....who love him and his long term partner to bits!!!
if the only reason that you don't want him to go to stay is because his uncle is gay, then you ARE wrong. you need to be more excepting of other peoples differences.
being gay isn't a sin (although some would argue this) it's not a crime and everyone I've ever met who's gay is beautiful!!
lets face it there are some CRAP parents out there who are heterosexual and i know people who are straight who i would NEVER let be with my children.
be patient and relax..let your grandson go and except the decision that the child's parents have made.
2007-05-31 04:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your concern, however as other friends on this column have pointed out, staying with them
a) does not making him any more gay than straight if they were heterosexual
b) as long as the Uncle and partner are nice to him and do not overtly or subtly do anything to suggest they are child molestors
Being a grandparent I can understand your need to be protective, but I guess the best way kids grow up is by learning the ways of the world on their own and you should always keep a keen ear open for any off the cuff remarks he may make about these people to look for clues before discriminating
Guess that resolves
Cheers
knoghtjoles
2007-05-31 04:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by knightjoles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not a matter of being wrong or right-but you need to ask WHY you feel that way.Do you have any reason not to trust them?Or is it that you think they may talk about innapropriate things in front of your son? The fact is they will probably take great care of your son and love him as much as you-i guess you probably want to protect him from a world that is not as familiar as yours.
The bottom line is being gay does not mean being a child abuser-so if I was you I would talk to them and let them know what your concerns are to allay any fears you may have. For example you may be worried that they will be openly displaying their affection in front of your grandson and that makes you feel uncomfortable (but actually may not be a big deal to your grandson at all) but nonetheless if these are the type of things you are worried about Im certain his uncle would respect your wishes rather than not spend time with his nephew.
I would also have a chat with your grandson and see how he feels-you dont say how old he is but you know what? kids are smart and intelligent these days.They dont make judgements and they accept the way things are-dont spoil a great relationship with his uncle over your fears.Move on and accept the fact they want someone to nurture just as much as you do.
2007-05-31 04:05:49 · answer #5 · answered by Modbird 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How well do you know this man? Is it because he is gay or is it because you are being overprotective of your very much loved grandson being left with anyone other than yourself or his parents who you can pretty much guarantee you can trust? If it is simply the fact that his uncle is gay that you object to then this is a very outdated attitude to have. Perhaps if you are concerned about it you should speak to your son/daughter and spend some time with these people and get to know them properly. Your fears may be eased when you know them as people rather than labels. I know it is horrid to worry about our children but it sounds as though he is stopping there no matter what you think so you may aswell do some research to put your mind at rest. Gay/straight or otherwise some people pose a threat to children, some don't - it's because of the kind of person they are not which gender they are attracted to.
2007-05-31 05:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are entitled to your opinion.
The child's parents are the ones who will make that decision.
Are you concerned that the gay uncle or his partner will try something with your grandson? Don't be. That's the furthest thing from their minds.
If that's the way you think, then why should the child be allowed to stay overnight with anyone? Who knows who might touch the child inappropriately? Maybe grandma and grandpa want to have sex the night he stays over. Is that going to be ok with a vulnerable child in the next room?
Think about it.
2007-05-31 03:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by Blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is rather worrying, I do admit. I think it depends on the uncle's character and how he relates to your grandson. If he has abused children before, you may need to think twice but if not I think there can be no harm in letting him spend the night. Just because the man is gay and has a partner of the same sex does not necessarily mean he has evil intentions.
2007-05-31 03:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jacqui Waze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how old is your grandson ? does he understand that the uncle and partner are actually partners or are they just friends in his eyes? a child isnt going to turn gay over night just because hes in the company of someone thats choosen that life style, its a couple like any other, would you be happy if you where in a homosexual relationship and where denied the contact of your grandson due to your choices, i completely understand your worries, but to be honest by stopping your grandson from staying over you are implying that the uncles choice to be homosexual is wrong.
2007-05-31 04:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by shagkitten21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, why would his staying there be a problem. If your grandson turns out to be gay then he already is, His Uncle and partner would have nothing to do with it.
2007-05-31 03:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by Timothy S 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i do think maybe your being a bit ott!! just because they are gay doesnt mean they are going to molest or turn your grandson into a gay!
id trust my nephew with a gay man more so than a straight man, because at least they have a feminine side. in all seriousness why do you have concerns? is it that you do not agree with there preference as to being gay?! maybe you should talk to th uncle and his partner you might really enjoy there company too!
2007-05-31 04:06:00 · answer #11 · answered by Bubblygirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋