should i give my son his fathers name if we are only friends?

Question

I am 36 weeks pregnant and i am not sure if i should give my son his fathers first and last name because i am not sure if we are going to get back together.He does want to be in his life and be with me.but i need time to see if he can mature.but i do want it to work out.what should i do?

Answer 1

Without going into detail, from my experience I would say give the child your name. At most, give the child both last names, either the father's and then your's not hypenated, just so the father's last name is part of the child's, like a second middle name, or both last names hypenated, with your name being first.

Answer 2

I would have to wonder your age and exactly what other questions you have in this matter........However, I do believe that your son should have his father's last name, but I would certainly rethink the first name. Do you think if you get back together that the relationship is strong and mature enough to last? I mean, really believe it in your heart?
If you don't get back together, it will be hard for you to say and write HIS name for the next 18 years every time there is something pertaining to your son.
And.....last but not least, doesn't your son deserve his own name? There is a reason you aren't together, but again, you didn't specify. So.....your son may not want to have the EXACT same name as this man, his father.
I have a son that I bore at 15 years old. He turned out to be worthless. He ended up not wanting anything to do with our son and I raised him with a father who was absent and didn't get a dime for any help.
My son is now 25 years old and has decided how he feels about this man who: A: Got his mom pregnant so young, and B: Never was there for him and therefore wants nothing to do with him. Does not even like to hear his name mentioned.
I am so very glad, as I am sure he is, that he doesn't have his EXACT name.
So........my stance is that you should give your son his father's last name but give him his own first name. His own identity.
Good Luck, Honey. Raising a son is a wonderful experience. Even without a father, if worse case scenario, that's how it turns out.

Answer 3

I'd wait if I were you. If you and the father dont get back together and the child has his last name, it's going to be weird when the child starts school. Everyone will call you Mrs. (Last name) and the child will wonder why you both don't have the last name. I've been through it and my kids wish they had my last name instead of their fathers. I seriously wouldn't do it again unless I was married and had the same last name. You can always change it to the fathers last name as long as he's on the birth certificate anytime you want. I think if you really want to give him the fathers first name, it's cool but ONLY if you really want to. Remember, you and your son have to live with that name forever, make it something special to you.

Answer 4

He's the baby's father regardless of you and his relationship.
Your relationship status has no bearing on whether or not the child should take his name...only time that should be considered is when the father isn't going to be around. Not to mention if you don't give the child his last name, he can come back and deny being the father, and not pay child support. Especially, depending on the state, if doesn't sign the birth certificate.

Answer 5

You don't have to give him his first name but give him his last. It saves a lot of headache further down the road when you have to explain why you two have the same last name but his dad does not.
This is no longer about you and how you feel towards the dad, this is about the child and the self confidence and HIS identity. Whether or not the father needs to grow up is besides the point. Give him his last name

Answer 6

If the man is willing to step up and be a father to your son then I vote yes. You don't have to be together for him to be a good father. The last name is very important on a male child. I know my brother's ex gave her their son her last name and my nephew is the last generation of our family name....so it does not live on with him. It makes me sad to think of it. On the last name I say definatly YES....but as for the first name,....that is a choice you have to make. Do you like his name? Is it a name your son will grow up and be proud of? Or is there a better name out there that will fit him? Either way as long as his father is there for him and you are too....that is all that matters!

Also if you and his father don't stay together eventually you are going to get married to someone else and your son will have an oddball name that does not match yours or his fathers.....

Answer 7

If he wants to be in his sons life then your son and his father should have the same last name. I would not give two last names but depending on what you last name is you could use is as a middle name (like if its Reed or Logan or Carter-something that you sometimes hear as a first or middle name)

Answer 8

The name might be the only the baby gets from his or her father based on this post.

In case the father disappears in a year or two, at least the child will have the name to start with as proof that the man actually exists.

Answer 9

At least give him his father's last name because you will have a hard time getting child support or any other benefits. You could even hypenate it with your last name. I gave my daughter my last name and now I have to wait to do a paternity test to get support for my child and her father is willing, but its easier to get assistance if he has his father's last name.

Answer 10

I think you should give your son his fathers last name. Even if you guys don't get back together your son will love and look up to his father and will WANT to have his last name.
Best of luck to you