The classic hehehe. Basically I could be and I don't want it full stop. The father has just dumped me, I'm scared I mean should I tell him? Should I involve him in what I do? He said to me he'd leave me if I fell pregnant anyway. But if I were to go through a abortion I'd want him there, if only for the support. But, would this wreck our friendship? Or should I just have the abortion and not tell people? Or do you have to tell due to post abortion risks or something? Here's hoping I'm not and I'm just late!!!!
2007-05-31 01:47:14 · 18 answers · asked by UniBeauty 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
By the way I'm in NO financial or emotional state to have the child and raise it properly!
2007-05-31 01:48:09 · update #1
Probably not grub I hope not. Just making sure I have explored this just incase!
2007-05-31 01:51:24 · update #2
He couldn't force me to have it could he? As some sort of punishment?
2007-05-31 01:51:59 · update #3
Thanks guys you're makng me feel a bit better. Just more detail too, I didn't intend to get preggo lol!! I didn't do anything to make me, I'm just worried lol!! I wouldn't force another life onto someone who doesn't want it! Children are precious!
2007-05-31 02:02:14 · update #4
I'm sorry sweetie but why would you be worried about 'ruining the friendship' with a man who said if you got pregnant he'd leave you? I mean of course it is possible to break up with someone and then be friends with them after but this statement by him makes him sound like a dead beat and a loser. Ok, many people dont want to be parents, but that is a horrible thing to say and it takes two to tango. This is just as much his responsibility as it is yours.
If you dont want it, I guess you are going to have to go through the abortion unless you are willing to adopt it out. I would contact him, because he should actually face half of the abortion bill! But as for the support emotionally, I would bring a sister or a close female friend along. Dont be brave and go it alone. But if you really are afraid of telling anyone. Organise a DVD night for 'after the abortion' with some close friends and just tell them that you are going through a breakup and you dont feel well in general so they will be there without knowing the real reason. But you will have some friendly faces with you.
Good luck!!
2007-05-31 01:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by Ms_S 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I want to say first, you don't need this guy for support, many women face this same thing everyday and make it through. If anything this experiance will just make you stronger. For one i don't think you should have an abortion, afterall the baby didn't ask to be here, it was you and your man who brought it here. I would heavily consider adoption.They even have open adoption now. Lots of people want kids and can't have them, give your baby a life, don't take that away. I know you don't think it now, but it is something that will way heavy on your mind for a long time. I would however tell the father of the child if you are pregnant. He was part of it and needs to know what all is going on. As far as emotionally stable or financially stable, no one is when it comes to a baby. I promise you no one would have a baby if they waited till they were ready.
I can tell you that you will never love anything more then you will that baby. I'm a mother myself, and just thought i was in love with my husband until we had kids. I was far from financially ready. We are doing pretty well now. If anything maybe this will put a kick in that guys reality check huh? He might actually come around to the idea, and surprise you in the end. I just wish you the best sweetheart. Goodluck with everything. If you need to talk further, just send me an e mail.
2007-05-31 02:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you need to find out if your pregnant. You sound a little stressed to calm down! Stress can get your period all out of whack! Abortions are expesive and dangerous. There have been several women who have had an abortion and then they can't EVER have children. You have to keep that in mind when your deciding to get one! If you are pregnant you may also want to think about adoption. Its a hard choice when you don't want to be pregnant at all but think about what it could mean. You will be saving a life AND your chance of having children in the future. If you are pregnant you may want to talk to someone about the pro's and con's of putting your baby up for adoption, if you don't like the options or whatever then go for an abortion just be sure that if you decide for the abortion you are ready to give up this child and possibily any other children in the future!
2007-05-31 01:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by Misty B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1) Find out if you are pregnant.
2) If so, tell him.
3) Get that abortion. It is performed by doctors and is much safer than having a baby. Yes, you will go through a mourning period. Everyone does when they lose something. (For people who can't handle it years later, there is something called "counseling".)
4) Go on birth control pills. And possibly a diaphragm if you can't trust yourself to not stay on the pill. He can use condoms from now on. "I didn't mean to get pregnant" means nothing. That is what little kids say. Prevention is everything. That is the adult way.
Sorry to be rough on you, but you want to straighten out what went wrong fast and make sure it doesn't happen again.
2007-05-31 02:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by Tina Goody-Two-Shoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, I'm not going to comment on your decision about the baby -- the reality is you have to live with whatever decision you make and no one needs to make this harder on you including your mug-of-a-boyfriend. I seriously do not understand where he gets off telling you he'd leave if you got pregnant...like he has no responsibility in it whatsoever! BTW, this is not the kind of support you need to take with you should you decide to get that "procedure". Hopefully it is just a scare and you see this guy for who he is and start being careful about who you date and, more importantly, how you protect yourself. Once you decide what you want, one way or the other, there are support groups and counselling services that will help you through. Best of Luck.
2007-05-31 02:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by Shorty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant and scared of what the father might think so i just left and didnt even tell him. I mean I got up in the morning (on thanksgiving no less) and got some stuff together and walked out the door and got on a train and didnt go back. I regret what i did EVERY MOMENT of my daughters life. I did it because I was afraid of how he would react. Well, now I have noooo idea how he would have reacted because i didnt even give him that chance. I told him this year about our daughter and he was sad that he wasnt a part of her life as a baby and loves her soooo much now. The more he loves her the more horrible I feel. What was I thinking? I can not believe he is even giving me a chance to redeem myself. I mean, not just for your child or your childs father, tell him your pregnant FOR YOU and for your childs grandparents who would not have met the baby, or aunts and uncles and cousins.
ps. i just realized i didnt read the whole question. Im sorry. my answer may seem a little off now.
2007-05-31 01:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by jo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if the guy told you he would dump you if you got pregnant, you should have dumped him as soon as he was done with that sentence. What the hell? You need to pick better people to hang with. Wreck your friendship? What kind of friend do you he think he is? What kind of support do you think he could offer? You and your sperm donor have got to be the most irresponsible and immature children around. If you dont want to deal with the risk of all these complications in your life, maybe you should abstain from having sex at all. Let that loser go, and when you grow up, find someone who wants to share these things with you. Children are a blessing, the way you talk, its obvious you dont see it that way, nor do you deserve to have one. I myself hope to God that you are only late. Grow up, lose that idiot, oh yeah grow a f****** brain too.
2007-05-31 02:05:54 · answer #7 · answered by Ponyboy99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good thinking, he sounds like a great support person to have around with you. I can't believe you would allow sex in a way that may make you pregnant with a guy who said "if you get pregnant, I'm leaving you". He's sounds like a real sweet heart, not.
You need to first choose if you want to keep the baby or not and then move the hell on. And stop letting people be so disrespectful to you.
2007-05-31 01:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by I hate Comcast 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him only after you've confirmed that you are pregnant. He has the right to know about his child and make the decision if he wants to raise it - seeing as you don't want it.
I'm thinking your friendship, such as it is, is already wrecked. He dumped you even before you told him you might be preggers.
I don't believe in abortion so I'd advise you that if you don't want the baby to have it and put it up for adoption.
2007-05-31 01:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him and go from there.You need to talk to him and see how he feels.He can't make you have an abortion that is a choice only you can make.You also need to explore all your options to make sure you are doing what is best for you and a baby.If you find out that you are you should talk to someone whom you trust and will support your choice.Good luck
2007-05-31 02:08:39 · answer #10 · answered by angie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋