2007-05-30 22:41:24 · 26 answers · asked by havah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
can you say LIMBO?? I use to call it my roller coaster ride, sometimes its good and when it is it is realllllllllly good, but when it is bad, you guessed it, it is reallllllllly bad. Do you want to stay in a relationship like this?? is the true question? When I decided to finally get off of my roller coaster ( It was making me ill) I sat back took in the sights wrote down my pros and cons and made my decision, it was hard, especially if kids are involved, but I made my decision and left. The power or decision is not theirs, I dont know what would ever give people that idea, when they are the ones that screwed up!! All I have to say is, I really dont think anyone really wants to be lied to, trusting again is very hard. Good luck! I know YOU will make the right decision for YOURSELF.
2007-05-30 22:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by dhix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well who started first? If you cheated with 30-40 different women over 24 years I'm willing to bet you started more than 9 years ago (based on the affairs we know about of hers and yours). So you started. You are not a manwhore at the rate of 1.25 women a year but you are definitely a serial cheater. Double digits baby! I didn't know cheating ever got that high and frankly I have little idea why your wife stuck around after so much of it. You think it didn't burn her up because you never fell in love outside the marriage? Maybe the reason your wife was able to forgive you 5 times in a row (5 times she knows about) is that after a while she started having other emotional as well as physical outlets and she no longer had so much riding on you that when your foundations shook her world went off you in pieces. What's worse, one other man over 9 years or 30 different women over 24 years? In my experience in love it really doesn't help much when the cheating was only physical. Do you have a right to be angry? Sure you do, it's only a human reaction. But you don't have the right to make her suffer. At least not before she knows all about your infidelity. There are only three ways you can handle this. You can divorce her, which you do not want to do on the emotional level and which you do not have the right to do at the moral level because you are no better. You can cheat yet again to vent out your anger, which I suppose would be the most natural choice based on past behavior. Or you can suck it all in and stay in the picture. It doesn't hurt you anymore than it hurt her. No more cheating from either side--and if she starts, you know you're in the right this time. I don't think an open relationship would work for you since it's really a very rare woman who would not mix sex with feelings. Hope this helped Cary. By the way, you're the same kind of guy who swept my old English girlfriend away. She was 18, he was a 46-year-old married sugardaddy with children. Ha!
2016-05-17 11:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably don't want to hear this, but your wife wants out. She cheated and still wants to get a divorce. That means you weren't providing something she needed (or thought she needed) in the first place. And now that you've forgiven her, she doesn't believe that you have what she wants or needs. If you want to try to save this marriage, then you both need counseling. And as sad as it may be, there are some pretty stupid women who test men to see their reaction. If you would have gotten stupid with her and beat her up or cursed her out, she'd probably want to stay with you. This is what you get for being a nice guy to a stupid woman. Now if this was a decent girl, then she'd be kissing your butt trying to earn your trust and love again.
2007-05-30 23:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be so bitchy but your wife sounds like a cruel harpie and you seem like a guy who's been through hell and still forgiven your wife. Perhaps you could work it out with counselling or have some time apart. Ask yourself if you think you deserve better, what do you want out of your life. It's difficult when you love someone but time apart will give you space to think more clearly and you won't have the pain of seeing her every day.
2007-05-30 22:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously if she wants a divorce she isn't happy in the relationship anymore. The best thing to do is to let her go.The question of what to do with her?? She is a person, rather she cheated or not and you must let her go. Do you want her to stay with you if she is not happy. I mean its great you are a forgiving person, but sounds like her mind is made up. Good luck
2007-05-31 01:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by missy j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude,
Went throught this crap last year with my ex-wife. It's gonna hurt, but u gotta cut off all conact, suck it up and go through the divorce. It's not going to be fun, but when it's all done with you'll thank yourself and wonder why you put yourself through the crap of dealing with her and all of her mess.
If you go through with it and cut her off, she'll probibally realize that she's screwed up by letting you go and try to get back with you. Don't do it, not worth the trouble and anything you rekindle with her, will fizzle within a couple of months.
sorry to say, it's over and it'll never be the same... trust me, i've been through it. It sucked while i was doing it, but now that it's past me, im glad it's done and over with
2007-05-30 23:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by Paulo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she suckerd u to forgiving her soz u couldnt win a divorce on grounds of her cheating... once u forgive her to the courts its like she did nothing to u...now she can go divorce u and gets ur mony and property, custody and child support...whatever u do dont try to reconcile cuz shes a player and will jus keep playin u... go get urself a good lawyer file 4 divorce and hope 4 the best...
2007-05-30 23:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by Gold Digger 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a cheating wife but I can't let go of my lover and husband. I love both men. One is exciting while the other gives me stability. Have some understanding.
2007-05-31 00:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by OAT61 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you should do is this... get out your phone book, look up the section in the yellow pages titled Attorney's, pick out one of the numbers, hand it to your cheating wife, and say here ya go... buh bye!
She doesn't deserve you!
2007-05-30 22:46:38 · answer #9 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she cheated you, she will cheat you again, you will forgive her again and you will suffer again and again the same thing will happen....
You don't wanna divorce because you still love her i suppose. If so, you want her to be happy, then divorce.
If not, divorce anyway, you can't be with a woman who doesn't want to be with you anymore!
2007-05-30 22:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by lisasimpson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋