why do married people stay together if they are miserable....and say it's because of the kids?

Answer 1

Because they truly believe that their kids will be better off with both a mother and father. Parents believe a divorce will bring on stress, but don't realize that the constant fighting (in many cases) causes pernament damage to a lot of kids.

Answer 2

This is a very good question and I have just asked this very question to a friend of mine recently.

I have been told that the hell you know is better than the hell you don't know. Meaning that they are willing to settle for what they have than to risk leaving and finding something that is even worse.

Then I was told that there are all kinds of marriages and if he had a list of 12 things he wanted in a woman and found a woman with 8 or 9 of them, he would take her because few people find everything they want in 1 person. Thus the reasoning for him not leaving her even though he is unhappy.

Some people actually do stay because of the kids because it is to costly and they don't want to hurt their kids by breaking up. Though I am not sure that their children growing up with 2 miserable parents is the right message to send either, but this is a personal preference.

Some people don't believe in divorce and vow to stay together for better or for worse.

I personally don't think that people have to remain miserable in their marriage if they are willing to do the work that it would take to make things better. Marriage is work, hard work and if you don't put in the work, then becoming stagnate and miserable is pretty probable.

I believe that as long as there is communication, there is no problem(s) that can't be solved. If you are going to stay together for the kids then you may as well find a way to show your kids how to one day fight for their marriages also.

Be well....Best Wishes....

Answer 3

Most of them that stay together were born back in the day to were thier mom and dad were taught the same thing and then it's like a chain , keeps going and going..This being 2007 alot of people are more divorced then married or seperated. I don't think it's heathy to stay together just do you someone haveing kids together, sometimes it's better to be divorced then to let your kids see you into it all the time. I know I went through it 2 yrs ago. Sometimes women stay in relationships no matter what they go through do to they have self low estem about themselfs. No couple should stay together if it's making you life miserable. Lifes to short be happy and live life to the fullest.

Answer 4

Because when you get married its for better or for worse, granted some bad marriages would be better ended becasue of the negative affect it has on kids, but theres also a negative affect on kids with divorced parents. They try becasue they think they can do it. Sometimes I think that a good reason to stay togetehr, both parents love the children they made and there main goal is to make them happy and keep them safe, so why not do it together.It brakes your heart to see your child crying because they miss a parent, you feel like you failed them. Its when it gets to a really bad point for the kids that they should seperate and I think some people have a hard time deciding when that is,when is it to late? Can it be fixed? Should we keep trying? ect.... and that goes on longer and casues more damage until they start wondering is it better to raise your kids alone and happy, or together and sad but still trying. Either way its a crappy situation. We all want the best for our kids even if we have to sacrafice.

Answer 5

It is due to people not wanting change. You get adjusted to your spouse and don't really want to want to do the divorce and go on the dating scene again. Then the clincher, the next five or more person you meet could be much worse than what you already have. The most interesting thing is, it is not about the kids that keep families together, it is complacence, the comfort zone of the spouses.

Answer 6

Because socially and religiously for many people it isn't fair to deprive a child of a two parent household just to make themselves happy. Children require sacrifice and some people sacrifice their own happiness for the percieved well being of their children and believe that a stable home life is part of that, and I honestly find that commendable. However, if a couple is incapable of at least making appearances for their children, than it isn't really helping the situation to stay together and just have an angry resentful home.

Answer 7

Deep down they probably still have love for each other. Also they might have come from broken homes themselves and decided not to let their child/children have to go through the same thing, so instead they stay together and make everyone miserable.

Answer 8

Because, when two people get married, they are committed to stay and be loyal together in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse. Marriage is not like a bed of roses at all times. To make it work, the couple should make a conscious effort to take care of each other and to let love as they mature.

If problems come, they should not quit, but as partners, face it together as one... Because, they are no longer two but one...
If problems occur, especially, if its their relationship, they should look for marriage counselor and pray for one another to make it work. They should not just stay because of the children, though its a factor, but should not be the only factor.
They should stay together because...remember, the person, she /he is hating now, is the same person that he/she loves so much, he/she married him/her.
so, if things are not ok, they should try to revive the love they once have. Others tried it, and are successful, it can be done, as long as they both want it to happen.

Answer 9

Because they don't want to get divorced. They are too used to their married life that they don't want to risk what could be out there, for whatever reason(s).

Many divorced couples still raise their kids and make it work. Miserable, angry parents aren't helping their kids. It's making their kids miserable too & causing them problems.

Answer 10

Children are the innocents in the whole thing. Children's hearts get broken when the marriage is broken. Married people that are miserable, would do better to stop being so selfish and start loving each other as intended. When they get married they become one and they should be building each other up and being kind and good to each other and to their children.