this is my first attempt at writing depressing poetry. i wuz wondering what ppl think of it.?

Question

i am 13 years old. i am very depressed right now.

here is the poem.
There is Still Hope
----------------------------
As I sit ialone n this cold, dark room
Thoughts of my past and suicidal hate devour my mind,
I begin to lose myself
My hope
My feeling
My ability to believe there is anything else.
I feel the soothing sting of the razor
As it sends its cold message,
That is that i am still aive,
That there is still hope for me

so.... thee it is. it wot hurt me if u dont likeit so just say what u think.

Answer 1

Well I will start by saying you are too old for 13. Do you have a job? Children? Bills to pay? I understand you may have so many things going wrong in your life that I don't know about.... But you are so so young to be writing about suicide. Your writing is not bad at all.... But if you are really in this state of mind, I think you need to talk to someone that can help you. Don't stop writing if it helps you, but don't hurt yourself. PLEASE.

Answer 2

I think it is a true representation of your feelings. I really hope that you realize that there is hope.
I am not for a moment belittling how you feel, but as you grow older new things happen, you have more control over your life and great things can happen. I have felt suicidal at times, and I have Clinical Depression and possible Bi-polar disorder. it is scary, but I take medication now and see a therapist. It helps to "level" me out and it's great to have someone to talk to who is "neutral".

So yes I like the poem, maybe writing will help you to see you do have a future and hope. Keep writing. :)

Answer 3

The final 3 traces do no longer study alright. The final line reads like a question. It sends a chilly message, that i'm nevertheless alive, that there continues to be desire for me? in the 6th line i do no longer in straight forward terms like using the be conscious "skill." It sounds too tutorial for an emotional poem. I sit down on my own in this chilly, darkish room wolfed by skill of my previous and suicidal hate I lose myself My desire My feeling "- - - - -"

Answer 4

Yes its very expressive, though you shouldnt be thinking of suicidal thoughts, talking to someone will probly be better for you to do, when i was younger I kept a diary of alot of sad poems ect..... I'm 23 now and last year I found the book in my old room, I couldnt believe the things I wrote, I'm very happy now and it felt good to throw it in the trash,,,,,, Things do get better, good luck!!!

Answer 5

Given your tender age and experience, I think it a very good poem. Sad tone though. Hope you become lively and cheerful.

Answer 6

i like it, though i think maybe the "suicidal" hate part is self evident as the poem progresses, perhaps let the reader build to the the actual "razor".
depression is treatable and you need to talk with someone about what you're feeling. Please!

Answer 7

I think you should print that out and give it to your Mom, Dad or trusted adult. Once they read that, they can get you the help you need.

Answer 8

Freaking Emo kids!!!

Answer 9

not too bad...hope you feel better soon :)