So I Shouldn't Interfer?

Question

So I know my Dad is cheating on my Mom.
But I shouldn't tell her, and let her figure it out herself?
Cause it's her marriage not mine?

That's what yall said!
Is is true?

I just let her find out herself?

Answer 1

I would never hide anything from my mother. Ever. You need to confront your Dad first. Then let him know he has a choice...either he tells, or you tell.

Answer 2

If your husband were cheating on you and your child knew, would you want to know from your child? Personally, my mom and I are very close and I would definitely tell her. Why is this world about "it's none of my business."? this is your family and if you tell her there may be something she can do about it. Maybe there can be a reconciliation and they can fix their marriage. That would make you happy wouldn't it? If your dad is just a plain jerk, then maybe your mom would benefit from knowing so that she can leave him. Either way silence is dangerous. Nobody knows what his reasons are but him and nobody, not even those in the same house, knows what goes on between two people, therefore, don't judge just do tell her.

Answer 3

Ok I'm sorry but i dissagree with what everyone is saying. I went through the same thing in my family, my dad did it for 15 years. Yes we all did tell my mom. We confronted my dad, and when he didn't stop, we told my mom. You will never be looked as the "middle man" because you are their child, and you would only want what is best for your mom, right? So let your dad know that you know, tell him to stop and come clean, if not you will do it for him. Give him the cahnce to tell your mom first. Sorry I know it hurts to see it going on, im telling you been there done that. You never know what the out come will be though, in our case they worked it out. My dad came to his senses and realized his family was worth more that some nasty b*$@h. Talk to your pops first then if that doesn't go well approach your mom and support her, she is going to need you. Good Luck

Answer 4

I disagree with everyone who said not to tell. If you are sure he's cheating then you should tell her and let her deal with it as she wants to. There is no reason to protect your father and much more reason for your mother to know. She not only needs to protect herself financially.. but emotionally and physically. Tell her.
Be prepared for anything that might happen though. Would you be prepared for him to leave (which may or may not happen)? Could you do this and never ever blame the consequences on yourself? Talk to a counselor or your school counselor.. whichever the case may be because you will need the support. Talk to a relative.
Good luck.
P.S. my bottom line answer to anything that is in question is: What would i like to have done to me? In my opinion.. I'd definitely want to know.

Answer 5

Greetings and I am so sorry that this is happening to you. It is a very painful thing to have to deal with.

There are many varying circumstances that are to be considered in dealing with this. I have no idea how old you are, or what type of relationship your parents have or any specifics that would assist me in answering your question.

So I will just go with my gut feelings. First of all make sure you are ready to deal with the possible outcomes of you being the one to reveal this information to your mother. I actually think it would be a good idea to communicate with your father and let him know that you know. This can be sticky because I don't know what type of relationship you have with your father. If you are close it would be better because he would be more apt to understand how this situation is hurting and affecting your life. If you aren't close, he may not be receptive at all and just tell you to mind your own business or else.

I am very close to my mother and I would want her to know for an entire host of reasons. I would want my father to tell her depending on the state of their relationship though. If he is going to dump her and could possibly devastate her financially as well, then I would just make a way for her to find out so she could protect herself financially. Bad enough you find out your husband is cheating on you, but if he is a heartless cheat and planning to leave if pushed, then he may not care how badly he hurts her when he leaves.

Sorry if this is getting confusing, but this is what I mean by the variables to the marital situation before you tell and how you tell.

There are some women out there who simply don't care if their husbands have affairs and already know it is going on. Not saying this is the case with your family, but it does go on all the time.

Regardless of how you tell her, whether through a very dear friend, pastor or sibling, or her husband, I think she should know. Just do what you can to prepare your heart for this and be prepared as this can all turn around on you. Just depends on the type of marriage they have. This could turn things around for them in the long run or it could end things so they can both go on with their lives. Could end good with pain of course, but with forgiveness and moving on, or it could end horribly bad.

I wish you the best...this is not going to be easy. See if you can talk with person of spiritual background or a marriage and family professional if possible before making a decision.

God Bless you child....I send you my prayers and strength and a heart for forgiveness when this is all over.

Answer 6

Talk to your father first. Did you see your father having sex with someone else? If not, there's no way to be 100% sure. You don't want to cause problems if what you know ends up being a presumption rather than fact. If you did catch them in the act then of course tell your mother.

Answer 7

Heck no. I consider my mom to be one of my dearest friends and if I knew, I would tell her. A cheating dog is still a cheating dog. My best friend said, after her husband cheated on her and they divorced, that the thing that upset her the most was that everyone knew but didn't tell her. It made her feel like a fool. I wouldn't do that to her and I couldn't do it to my mom.

Answer 8

what I have found is that everytime anyone tell's on someone else;
the person who told is the one that is left to blame no matter what happens.
they see you as putting your nose in their business and will find a way to blame you for the whole mess that their cheating caused.
you would not believe the crap I have seen with women who were good friends trying to help the other by telling on their husbands, I have never seen one time where they were not blamed!!!!!!

Answer 9

Wow, I have actually been there with my parents. I told my Dad that now that I know that I am in a horrible position of betraying either one of them. His trust or hers and since his indiscretion put me there it was his problem to fix. Now that was 10 yrs ago and his fixed it right away. He told my mom and then ended the affair and to this day my mother doesn't know that I knew. If she ever asked me I would tell her and tell her what I just told you.

I don't know any other way to handle it..............

Answer 10

Here's what happened to me: my grandpa let it slip that he had a 'friend'. he figured i wouldnt say anything about it. BUT i felt loyalty to my grandma and didnt want her to be treated that way. since i was only 16, i told my aunt everything. then she decided to tell my grandma. If you let her find out herself, if she ever knew YOU were aware of things, she might get upset with you. Tell someone close to your mom, and let them make the decision to tell her,, i know its hard.