Growing up, I never had a father figure in my life. Now that I'm a young adult, I'm really attracted to older guys who are in their mid-40's or older. I mean I would consider dating someone my own age, but I'd prefer older men. I think the absence of a father may play a role in this preference, but do you think there is anything wrong with it?
2007-05-30 17:44:16 · 24 answers · asked by muffy_hlc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, I'm 18.
2007-05-30 18:00:46 · update #1
Sounds like you've got the psychology right. Young women often times prefer older men because men their own age are often not as mature...this however is not always the case. Also, sometimes they like that fact that usually older men are better established in the world. In your case having an older man in your life may feel like you have someone to go to who has more experience and can teach you things like a father should have when you were younger. There are problems with dating someone who is too much older than you are though, here are a few: if you are in your twentys and they are in their forties--in ten or more years from now they will start to look a lot older and you will end up looking like someone's mother while they look like someone's grandpa, also you need to consider their motivation for being with someone so much younger (it is less likely to be for love and more likely to be because they like having someone in their lives with very smooth, young skin (trophy wife mentality), its usually best to stick to marrying someone near your own age, their are young intelligent men out there (I'm only 25) you just have to look, and that way as you both age you can do it together and go through the same physical changes, have more in common, and not have a husband who passes away when you're only 40 or 50.
2007-05-30 17:57:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, there is nothing wrong in dating an older guy. Please the Grey or white drives me crazy and I'm not joking, just don't tell my husband, ha, ha. But yes about the absent father, my father left when I was a little girl and I thought the same thing too and to tell you the truth, so what. Just make sure that you are in love with the guy not a father figure. Don't let this turn out to be an obsession if for some reason it doesn't work. Take Care.
2007-05-30 18:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by passion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on how much younger you are. If you are 21 yrs old young adult or older, I think that you are old enough to make your own decisions on who you want to date. I just think that you should date someone you like for who they are and how they treat you, and not ask your self who you are dating would of been your perfect father. follow your heart and never regret that you did not have a father figure. just remember that your mother did a great job on her own, and you are who you are because of the family who was around when you were growing up. take a look in the mirror and see how well you turned out without a father figure. I grew up without a father myself, and I turned out to be a great father myself.
2007-05-30 18:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls perfer older guys because girls mature faster then guys.. so they try to find someone at the same maturity level as they are.. therefore, they get with older guys. But it can go the other way.. but mostly its younger girls with older guys And the reason guys like younger girls is because the older ones are too mature like they want to start a family n stuff... and they arent ready for that
2016-04-01 06:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope your at least 18 or you could get some guy in trouble. I don't know about the father thing. I have heard of girls falling for guys who are like their father but not because they miss their father. You could just be attracted to older men. There is nothing wronge with that as long as you are at least 18.
2007-05-30 17:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by struck 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're normal, but any man who is 10+ years older than you, that would date you, there's definitely something wrong with him. There's just too big a gap in your ages for him to be able to see you as anything but a child that he can control and abuse. More times than not, that's what happens. Guys who date much younger women, aren't able to date someone their age because they are too immature and it's harder to control an older woman. When I see that kind of combination I feel bad for the woman and wonder what is wrong with the man. Marry a fun mate, not an old controlling fart.
2007-05-30 17:52:04 · answer #6 · answered by lady 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you're giving up your own normal emotional development in order to have Daddy in your life (and, creepily enough, in your bed).
You will regret dating someone 15 or 20 years older than you, the relationship will not last, and you will set out dating again with no solid experience in peer dating.
You'll be a hideously disfigured freak (emotionally speaking, I mean).
2007-05-30 17:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is just a number as far as adults are concerend but Yuck!!! Now that's nasty, looking to bed daddy!!! It takes all kinds of hoo chies to make the world go round so there is no doubt you can find an older gentleman to satiate your need but it would be far less distasteful, perahps even acceptable, if it wasn't a daddy substitute.
2007-05-30 18:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by ralegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be the majority in this sister, as we mature so much faster than men. I know what you mean, i have never dated or even thought about dating someone my age.
I think that freud is incorrect in his analysis, that we find our father figures. I don't analyze what I like, I love what i love and you should too. It is not the replacement of someone, as that can never be done, but it is their experience, their lack of immaturity, and their depth of loving that truly speaks to the heart. I know I am the same.
We should be allowed to pursue whomever we wish, as long as we are of the legal age.
Good luck,
Blessings
2007-05-30 17:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have always dated younger women, and i can tell you, you are not alone. i don't think its a daddy-thing as much as i want an adult, mature and stable man thing.
women at 21 and men at 21 are not the same. typically the woman is ready to start nesting and the man still wants to party. this is bound to be problematic in the future.
an older man is most likely looking for something more, not just a party. he also has the resources and experience a yound woman wants in her life.
if it bothers you, then seek help. otherwise it's normal.
2007-05-30 17:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by bl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋