hi i am 36 and single going to be 37 on june 17 th ( having bit of birthday blues ) .....i never married because i never found the right woman and now i am bit set in my ways to contemplate marriage ... i am in a reasonably dead end job ..... in the accepted meaning of the term i am a failure . ... but i have kicked alcoholism 8 years back after a 6 year affair with the bottle .. i have overcome dire poverty to have an existence and have changed from being a wimp to having a rather pleasant personality ..... am i being too harsh on myself just because i do not have a wife and mandatory two and half kids and a dog ... and have not yet been able to accumulate assets like house , or started saving for retirement .......
does anyone know a good motivation , self help website ?
i believe like Rocky ... " it is not how hard you get hit and stand up which matters .. but how hard you can get hit and keep moving ..... " is that a good mantra to have ?
2007-05-30 17:37:32 · 22 answers · asked by atma ram 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
uh i work as a teacher and i forgot to add that i am from India ...... but i am very cosmopolitan so your answers are welcome where ever you are ?
2007-05-30 17:38:57 · update #1
Now that you had notice of your situation you are not a loser anymore, do not give up, take advantage of the time and achieve success, effort is healthy but without results it is nothing, there you got my advise, is not late pal.
2007-05-30 17:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by marsellesa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday! My dad's birthday is also 17 June. Nothing to be blue about! You've stated four things that show you are anything BUT a loser. Overcoming alcoholism--not an easy task; poverty, changing your personality, & being a teacher is, as a friend of mine would say: "Not chopped liver." I consider it a noble profession. The wife, two & half kids & a dog might be someone else's goal, but it doesn't have to be yours. Hey, I'm 34 & very set in my ways, & love being who I am. I don't WANT to be married. You can enjoy someone's companionship without being married--& often the relationship works out much better that way, when each of you have your "space." Do you REALLY think you need self help, or motivation? Seems to me you're doing a great job as you are.
2007-05-31 02:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't believe u are a failure. U have given great battles with alcoholism and poverty. Few people have the strength of doing so. And u recognise that u have a pleasant personality. Yes, u are harsh on yourself but who isn't? U are still young. The guys most creative years is until the age of 50 or more!! U haven't found a wife yet but u will. U still have time. Try to improve your life more, start saving money by spending less in unecessary stuff. At the same time u could look for another job with more prospects. Try to think positive and meet people. Somewhere out there is at least one woman that will love u. As long as u are confident and believe that u deserve to be loved. I believe that u are a man with a lot of experience, who has seen life's cruel face, and that has survived and learnt by his mistakes. U are someone to be admired by a woman who needs someone strong next to her. Showing confidence and thinking positively is my best advice. Good luck my friend. I'm sure u will make something beautiful out of the ruins of your life.
2007-05-31 00:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by Ria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not a loser. You haven't married yet because God hasn't wanted you to be yet. There is a time for everything and now's not the time yet for you. Don't be so harsh on yourself about this. When the time is right God will show you who the right girl for you is. Just wait and see. By the way, congratulations of kicking the alcoholism. Put your faith and trust in the Lord and He will help you see things through.
2007-06-06 10:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by Karen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't find you to be a loser. Marriage and a home do not define who we are. You are a teacher, which is a very noble profession. You don't break the law and seem to be polite.
Not everyone has to follow what we as a society consider the norm. Just because you are not married, have two children, a dog and a home with a white picket fence does not mean you are a loser.
2007-05-31 02:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so not a loser. You just have had some tough times. But you know what you haven't done in your life so now you can be on the road to changing. You're a teacher for crying out loud. How can you say you are a loser? You've done more good, even if it was not for yourself. Start believing in yourself. Happy Birthday and good luck.
2007-06-06 16:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mastershake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy I knew once said;'Life begins at 40'. He was 19 and he seriously couldn't wait to get 40! He believed it was awesome to become a mature man. I think you can still get a better job, have plenty of time to save for retirement if you mind your health now. Rocky is right, focus on your future, you only live once! And people even get married at their 70s, a 60 year old woman just gave birth to twins, so.. 40 is the new 30.
2007-05-31 01:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me you are no loser that you are actually a winner in every way that you have set out to master. If you want a wife and then children I am sure you will get them and don't worry about the norm because in the norm those wife and two and half kids end up with half of all your money for child support because you can not stand their mother any more....Don't beat yourself up, count your blessings that you are aware of what you can do and look for a partner with the same values. And a school teacher is no dead end job.....How many kids do you help to believe in themselves everyday. As far as a mantra keep the one you have that has got you this far.....Good luck
2007-05-31 00:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by truely human 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you don't get yourself to jail, end up in a mental hospital or in the cemetery you are completely average. There are a hints of success in your biography. You kicked the bottle which is very difficult to do. You have overcome poverty which is also a sign of accomplishment. Next thing is to find a good mate to help you triumph in life .But take your time in order to make the right decision.
2007-06-05 21:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by kp4gc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have accomplished a lot in bettering yourself as an individual. That means that you strive for what you want only on a small scale. I would say that you are only a loser if that is what you want to be. But it doesn't sound like that is what you want to be. Just becuase you haven't got the whole package yet doesn't mean you should give up on finding it. Keep on moving forward. You will do well in life if you want it enough.
2007-06-04 20:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're a teacher, you're a SAINT----------
Many teachers live a non-splashy lifestyle, and keep their individuality at all costs. Sometimes it just goes with the territory. You are contributing a priceless gift to the world and the future by teaching, and everyone needs your sacrifice.
Forget all that jazz about conformity, you are above all that, and have a power over ideas and events to come that others will not have.
Hopefully, if you are teaching, your institution/government will have a good retirement program in place for you, at least.
2007-05-31 00:50:50 · answer #11 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋