They have been divorced for at least 6 yrs now and his family still invites his ex wife to all their family dinners, weddings, funerals, and to be honest, it makes me feel like an outsider. I also am divorced and my family never would invite my ex husband to the family gatherings. He comes to the kids graduations and functions, but not to my families weddings etc...
She (the ex wife) shows up at everything. She has no qualms about bringing her husband and buying extravagant gifts for the grandkids which arent hers. She comes to the parties and makes herself right at home and they are all thrilled to have her come right along. She cheated and it makes me want to vomit. Maybe its just me, but I feel like maybe these step kids of hers needs to cut the rope.
I went to a dinner and about crapped when I looked at the table next to me and there she sat with her husband right next to her ex mother in law. Is it me? Is this normal or am I jealous and just dont realize it?
2007-05-30 17:06:52 · 7 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is it normal for it to bother you, yes. But, I do think it's nice that they stay so friendly. When my Dad and Mom divorced, my father cut off his relationship with my brothers (who were my Mom's from a previous marriage). My parents married when they were 2 and 4, and they were married for 13 years. My brother's grew up calling him "Dad," and he was their Dad. Then, one day, he was just gone for them. They were really hurt by it, and to this day it still upsets them.
I know it bothers you, and I know I wouldn't like having the ex around either, but if everyone else is ok with it (and whether or not they are her's it seems children are invested) then mabe you should just TRY not to let it bother you. I have a lot of divorce in my family (my parents wouldn't even TALK to each other once they got divorced us kids were always the messengers), and I think it would have been nice if everyone could have been amicable.
Also, I feel like my mom could be like your husbands ex. My mom and her first husband stayed friends, and we all spent many holidays at each others houses. In fact, my Brothers' sister (I know this is confusing) became my sister and my friend, and she even used to go on vacation with us.
I now it's weird for you, but such is the modern, blended, American family. I'm sorry it hurts you. If it were me though... I'd try.
2007-05-30 17:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the pitfalls of being in a second or third marriage. You have to put up with a lot of baggage. As for the ex buying gifts for the grandkids that aren't hers, she likely has been around them for years and loves them, too. The best thing for you to do is make friends with her. It will drive your husband crazy but you are going to run into her everywhere anyway, so you may as well say "Hi" and chat a little. I read somewhere that it said: When you divorce, you only divorce the spouse, not the rest of the family. I think that is what is going on here. They liked her when they were married and they still do. It has nothing to do with you. I'm sure they like you also. So, be nice to her. After all, if she hadn't cheated, you wouldn't have ended up with her ex-husband. Right?
2007-05-30 17:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inviting her to some family gatherings I can understand (my ex-mother-in-law lives next to us and at one time lived with us). My husband gets along great with my her but as for the ex husband I don't invite him to anything not even the kids birthdays (their choice) anymore. The last time I did we had a BIG blow up and after that I decided no more and the kdis agreed.
Try talking to your husband about this and see what he says. He may be able to talk to the rest of the family and express your concerns with then without any hard feelings from anyone. I can understand that it irks you when she shows up I would probally feel the same way that you do.
Good Luck with this!
2007-05-30 17:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His fiance desires to respond to that question. If she (the bride) is comfortable with it - then it truly is totally high-quality to develop the invitation to the ex-spouse. the two the groom & ex-spouse might desire to be information if the bride does not want the ex-spouse in attendance. i've got ordinary countless couples who have been given alongside nicely after a divorce and so the ex's have been at many family purposes - - i think of I observed my Uncle's Ex-spouse (Aunt C) tons extra advantageous than I observed my own Uncle who replaced into my father's brother. The Aunt replaced into in straight forward terms married into the family.
2016-10-09 04:22:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your a little jealous but maybe she knows your feeling akward so play her game always be prepared looking your best hold your head high and love your man
2007-05-30 17:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by Gloria M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW THAT HAS TO BE HARD BUT THE WAY I LOOK AT IT IS THAT YOUR MAN IS REALLY TO BRING YOU AROUND AND SHOW YOU OFF SO THAT WAY I WOULD LOOK AT IT IS THAT HE COULD ASK YOU TO STAY HOME TO AVOID ANY CONFLICT BUT NO HE WANTS U THERE AND TAKES PRIDE AND YOU! SO JUST PICK YOU HEAD UP AND DON'T LET HER KNOW IT BOTHERS YOU IT ONLY GIVES HER THE ADVANTAGE AND THE PLEASURE
2007-05-30 17:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by happy girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is horrible that they invite her, they aren't showing any consideration what so ever for your feelings.. its great they all still get along and everything, but you are his new wife, and your feelings should matter!!!
2007-05-30 17:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋