How to convince parents for love marriage?

Question

Hi all,
i m 24 ,he is 26.He is a north indian.I am a south indian.
We are working in the same MNC.We are financially stable and are realy confident about our relationship...
His parents have no problem with the marriage.
But my parents are dead against this.
Reasons:
1.different caste,different eating habits(i expl them it is not so..but they dont agree).
2.Their apprehension tht he will leave me and go later on in life.
3.i have a younger sister.if i do this marriage,it will affect in her marriage as she will not get good alliance.
4.if i do this marriage ,it will be a encouragement for my subling,cousins and future generations in our family ...
5.Also my parents are saying tht our relatives will cut all relations with them if i get married to him.
6.they have concern that his family may be good now,but after marriage they may change.
Also,
He met my dad and tried to convince him ,but he still sticks to these points and does not agree.
Kindly advise me how to convince

Answer 1

North meets south very good! Another Hema marries Dharmendra wonderful! South Indian Girls are really beautiful & north Indian guys handsome that’s a perfect match to have cute babies. Now let’s come to your absolutely miscalculated reasons: 1) who cares of caste nowadays at least in this newer generation? Lots of inter-caste, inter-religious, inter-regional marriages are on & very successful only last year attended one marriage between a beautiful Bangalore gal & Punjabi guy, it was such a perfect match. Food habits is ones personal choice no one can force anyone even not the spouses doing so, lots of such couples where one is pure vegetarian but the other eats all non veg food, no problem, no hassles. 2) Where will he go and leave you with whom? What’s the guarantee if you marry a south Indian guy he won't leave you? Can your parents give any such guarantee for any south Indian guy? Are there no divorces in South Indian Couples? Should I count & tell how many south Indian people there in this yahoo answer community who have already replied or will be replying this question. This is absolutely misconception on part of your parents.3) Don't worry for your younger sister what ever is in her fate she'll get may be a better guy then you, who knows, & if she too goes your way it will be wonderful thing to happen. 4)Yes definitely it will be encouragement to all younger generation to go in for such marriage & I as an Indian want this to happen, inter-regional, inter-caste, inter-religion marriages to integrate the whole country in one & I as a person is open to any criticism on this account. 5) Are your relatives feeding your parents? Are your parents financially bound by these relatives? If such interregional marriage arise in there case will they not go ahead with it nor will they ask your parents the permission to marry? My own north India cousin sister married a south Indian guy, non of our or his relatives objected to this marriage which happened 30 years back, just imagine 30 years back now in 2007 you talk of relatives getting annoyed by you marriage.6) Tell me how many married couples nowadays live with their parents? Most of the cases I see the young couples move out & start their own life after marriage & occasionally meet their parents. The conception that the good people will change & become bad after marriage is absolutely wrong, even seen so many inter-regional couples living with parents in law leading very comfortable life, even meet them & seen them enjoying life without any dispute rather enjoying the beautiful company of the grandchildren who take most of their day, running after them & caring for them in absence of both the parents. Tell your father very clearly you will marry this man what may come, whether he agrees to this marriage or not, tell him you are of marriageable age & can marry him legally without any obstacles even in a civil marriage under the Special Marriage Act,1954 & no one can stop you from doing so as you fulfill all the necessary conditions for such marriage & if he tries to interfere in such marriage before the marriage officer/registrar he can face punishment for interfering in the official duty of a public officer/servant for which if he is taken to task you won't be responsible, just tell him this & see he'll himself come forward & get you married with this guy.

Answer 2

Priya,

I can only advise in this critical situaltion that try to convience your parents.

To cut short I can only say by your one decision so many lives will be changed in one way or the other, just take the decision in which few people will be the sufferer.

Surly your parents will be the most effected by your decision.
Though you are independent and will be earning good bucks but you know how much your parents will have done for you to make you so confident and today you are of your own.

You can get every thing out from this world with money but the blessings and best wishes of your parents will not be there when you will get married without there consent.

At your inlaws place also one day or the other you will visit and there will be someone to point out or criticize .
I can only say if you truly love him allow him to start his own life and one thing more I would like to tell you is that love is always sacrifice .

Answer 3

Hi priya!
I can understand your situation bcoz i m also suffering from this.I am 26 typical maharashtriyan Brahmin girl amd my bf is Gujrati brahmin.I m d youngest in my siblings.
We both r north indian.and my family knows him from 5yrs.and they know abt our affair since 2yrs.But the bf's parents are agree and MY PARENTS ARE TOTALLY AGAINST.
U will wonder if i tell u d reasons behind.Some of which are caste, society and even our JANAM KUNDLI.
I m convincing them since 2 yrs.during this period i beared a lot of things.But still I am happy and waiting 4 their positive decision bcoz v (me and my bf)decided 1 thing that He & his parents r agree.Now Lets wait 4my parents untill v feel its over.V r trying 4 convince them bcoz those (May b urs or mine) parents are typical indian cultured.like believe in arrange marriges only, for them its all (love) are only a "Bakwas"kind of feeling
And ITS ALWAYS DIFFICULT TO FIGHT AGAINST A SYSTEM, VALUES OR PRINCIPLES.
and it seems more difficult when we fight against a person who is our dearone (like parents).This is perfactly right that u CAN GET ANYTHING IN THE WORLD BUT NOT UR STRONG RELATIONS BACK.as well as this is also correct that NO ! CAN MAKE U AS HAPPY AS UR LOVE CAN. bcoz if u missed ur TRUE LOVE, u'll NEVER GET IT BACK.
Also Its my personal bad experience but its practial n that is after 5 yrs from ur marrige no relative and no friend will be there 2 see that u r happy or not.upto that time all ur siblings will setteled and happy then what abt u?Then u'll realize a practical thing that AFTER UR PARENTS IF ANY RELATION CAN SUPPORTS YOU THEN THAT IS ONLY UR LOVE.UR HUSBAND.NO1ELSE.
secondly that is ok u have a younger sis.but ask ur parents is it ur fault that u r elder,and if ur younger sis will ask them 4 lovemarrige with a north indian guy.Will they permit???
IF NO,then No issues whether u elder or younger.

So my suggesion is just wait untill u both feel that its now over and now u have 2 get married.
and when this time comes ask them and tell them that I m going with an assumption that one day when u feel that my decision was right, u'll never think they we have a gap between us.Bcoz from ourside(u and ur bf) we always need ur support and love.
Belive me! If ur bf is really nice and u have take d decision with proper understanding, u both'll live a happy married life.and ur parents also will b there.
Take time and b confident.as I m. and anytime u need
my suggesion can mail me.bcoz i can feel how critical ur situation is..LOL.GOD BLESS U.

Answer 4

Hey Priya!
One may take a horse to the water,
Twenty cannot make it drink--theriyumilla ?

Working in MNCs, (and your folks having got used to the idea of you working for an MNC--not just its attractive pay!), are you still stuck with parental permission?
How long will you remain tied behind the parents' Apron strings?? Aren't you old enough? Enna maa!

Do not succumb to emotional black-mail!
Your sister will get married , whether yours is an inter-caste marriage is NOT relevant!
Today, there are as many same-caste marriages failing as inter-caste marriages! To make a success of it, BOTH of you will have to WORK at it! It won't be a good marriage automatically!

Be loyal, be sincere about your future desires, and take the leap of faith. If you both are confident--that is a HUGE positive point in your favor--nothing should come between you adults!
May God bless you, my dear Priya!
Enna maa, shamattu penne'!

Answer 5

Should you run and go, since your parents don't understand your feeling.

No, that would be the last step. First get it implanted in your mind that Love is not a sin just an expression that you want to share with a single person for your entire life.

Tell your parents that you are serious and would like to lead a life with this person who is just made for you.

If they show their unbelief or disrespect accept it, as it is normal for them to react. Wait patiently for them to respond positively.

Your parents have loved you all through your life. They might have awakened all night to just to see you sleep calmly. They might have even got early to be the first one to kiss you good morning. They might have knelt down in prayer every time you cried with pain. They love you and surely will understand your love too.

However if they are fierce and lock you out of the world then find out the reason why they don't want you two to be one. May be your sweetheart is a cheat and your parents sensed it. If you think he is not then prove it.

Maybe they think it is puppy love and not true love; then make them understand how serious you are.

If you believe your lover is just perfect then make your parents understand the fact that will lessened your parents burden and it is time for marriage ceremonies.

God bless you and your sweetheart
my advance greetings to you.

Answer 6

At this time you are torn between your own happiness and the respect of your families name and the out come for everyone else, if you do not follow your heart there will be someone else in your family that will follow there heart, I too come from a family that would not agree with marriage outside our culture, but time has changed so much and in time I do know that your family will as well, you need to follow your heart and make your self happy because there may come a time in your life that you will truly never be happy.

Answer 7

Hi,

I'll try to be brief. There are so many young generation Indians who are sick of these arranged marriages it is pathetic. I have a lot of Indian friends and they always express their frustrations with this. The only way those old traditions will change in the future is if the new generations fight against this. Do you know how many people have had their heart broken into a million pieces because of this?

I know it is hard as hell to fight against a custom so old, but God said for us to marry who we love. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Petty differences like food preference, and money are totally irrelevant. What will you tell your children? I had to marry your dad because he make X amount of money per year? That is sick and this need sto stop!

That is like prison. I wouldnt care if my family stopped talking to me because when I am at home alone at night, I have to lay down and open my legs up to this man! I can not make love to a man that my heart is not with. Do the right thing for yourself. You could go down in history as a person who fought for love. Free the next generations from having their hearts torn apart by these caste systems.

That is not fair to you or your beloved fiance. Talk to God about this and ask Him to guide you to what is right. It is scary to face this, but the love in your heart for him will be your strength. Good luck my friend and I hope that you go to your loved one and marry him. You guys belong together. :)

Answer 8

Present age for individual to live its own life.. Society or family does not matter much when it comes to individual life.. If you are in true love i dont see any reason for you to not marry with your loved one.. There are cultural differences when you will try to socializing but that goes with individual way of dealing with that.. You both must feel matured and understanding to handle that. Also plese ensure you aheva comfort feeling on the way you have grown up and have common interest on routine life for eating, enjoying and all routine doings so that those basic difference does ot surface once you start living together.. World does not matter when you both have strong bond.. So check and varify what you both share for each other.. Also i feel its important that you both do not feel much and give importance on social and family matters and hads courage to shout at them as and when required to silence them if they interfer too much on your life.. Be bold and live your own life without worrying much on society and families... Cheers!!

Answer 9

this is your life! you are a grown women! i understand your parents have there concern for you but what is in your heart and remember when youn say i do you are the one who is getting married .this doesn't mean your parents are.if they are telling you all connections and ties will be cut off because of your marriage to this person they need to stop for there own selfish reasons and be happy for you.the thing is only you what your heart is telling you to do. this is about love here not eating habits and ect.or try to make other people happy.this is your future and they need to respect that!

Answer 10

o.K the parents are not right.Ithink if u kwow ur guy well ,u love him and appreciate their cultural values u go ahead and plan ur marriage.But remember it is a life time commitment.I suggest counseling foor your parents in order to convincethem.Look for a proffessional.Good luck.if ur heart is for the guy and this will make you live ahappy life please marry him.For what God has joine no man shall put asunder. u can leave him but lator on start to look for him again.