I made a few mistakes and told my fience's family some concerns of mine. He took off to his moms, after I said these things, and has been there for a month. This is technically his apartment and he has not been home. I love him so much but do not know what to do. He will not return my phone calls and I am only allowed to call his mom's once a day and before six. What do I do? His family said that they would call the police if I stepped foot on there property. I have no idea what is going on. Can someone help me
2007-05-30 14:42:29 · 13 answers · asked by Elicia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like somebody needs to grow up - and I am talking about HIM...
Running off to hide 'neath mom's apron as soon as things start going wrong - instead of at least trying to deal with whatever issues the two of you have. Pah-thet-ic...
If it is "technically" his apartment, then HE should be the one paying the rent on it - and you should be doing everything possible to get out there as soon as humanly possible.
Until he learns how to act like a man - or at least how to stand up to his domineering family - then there will be no future for the two of you...
2007-05-30 14:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you realize you made a mistake by discussing your concerns with your fiance's family, instead of with your fiance. Either it was something that was so bad, or he feels terribly hurt and betrayed that you went behind his back.
Since he and his family feel so strongly against you, there isn't anything you can do right now other than let him know that you would like to speak with him and clear the air.
I agree that it would be wrong of you to go to his mom's to discuss things. You'd be disturbing someone else's peace.
It's better for you to have any discussions at your apartment.
2007-05-30 21:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my fiance, did the same thing (without running to mom, btw, that is a big sign of immaturity for him to run "home" in the face of trouble),i wanted sooo bad to hold on tighter, then i figured love, but let go. now 10 years later we are together for the past 5 years. sure it took some time, but if guys are not ready to face it them selves, then nothing you can say to him will change his mind. especially since he has his biggest fan for him leaving you right in his ear 24-7. sit down and wright him a letter or email and tell him everything you can't or won't say to his face, while explaining that you will fight for him, but not in a fight that is already tipped in his favor by him running away. set a time for his response. hold firm, and all might turn out ok. but if not, you have a life to lead, and you deserve better. just think, better know now and not after marrage.it's expensive for a divorce, not to mention hard on the soul.
2007-05-30 22:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by tiger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to like this, but:
#1-Move
#2-Do not let him (or his family) know your new address or phone number.
#3-Do not take ANY of his calls.
#4-Never try to contact him again.
Anyone who runs away from their fiance and hides at mom & dad's is still WAY too immature to be married. It is not going to be easy for you, but it's better than what was in store for you as this person's wife. Does the term "monster-in-law" mean anything to you? Let this mama's boy be some other wife's nightmare.
2007-05-30 22:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just curious about what your concerns were....I mean they couldn't have been that bad? Seriously, I know that you 'love' him but he obviously doesn't love you enough to talk about it and try to figure this out!! Honestly, do you really want a man that wont talk about your problems and just run home to his mom and dad's house..and restrict u to calling him once a day..and his mom telling you they would press charges? THEY SOUND CRAZY...LEAVE his aprtment..get your own place and just call hiom @ 5:55 and say..I'm done chancing you like a freaking child..you ring is on the table
buh'bye!
2007-05-30 22:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by babyj06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. If you cannot SPELL "fiance'" then you haven't got a FIANCE'.
SECOND: You are getting all the signs that it is OVER !
HE LOVES MOMMY MORE THAN YOU.
You haven't said what you told him or the mistakes you made,...you can email those to me and I will maybe change my opinion BUT:
Quit paying the rent and utilities, go find another place to live, leave the lease up to him. Leave and never look back.
HE is never goiing to change mommy's mind.
leave
mitch.
2007-05-30 22:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of concerns would send him running for the hills?? I can only say that if he's willing to basically give up your relationship and leave then he's not ready to be married. Have you tried talking to him about it in the small time frame that ou have to work with? What does he say? Honestly and sadly enough I think you may need to just let him go and see what happens...............
2007-05-30 21:48:37 · answer #7 · answered by tylremily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all learn how to spell it is Fiance not fience. And I'm guessing he is no longer your Fiance no matter HOW you spell it. I think it's pretty obviously what is going on, you just don't want to face it.
2007-05-30 21:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have no fiance. Honor his wishes and move on. If you had some concerns this result may be for the best.
2007-05-30 22:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHOA! id leave him alone, if this is what he and his family are about, i wouldnt waste my time. sounds like a wicked nightmare.
why would you want to marry someone who has to run home to mommy and daddy and cant stand on his own??
good luck!!
2007-05-30 21:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by chantel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋