how do i deal with a mother-in-law that is always trying to control my husband?

Answer 1

First, you have to understand a mother and son relationship, a mother can be overly care (not control) on her son due to motherly love. It is in no doubt all mothers love their childrens, to some, parting and being control by another woman (his wife) can be very uncomfortable for them. I believe if you have, you do love your son too, but one day he is will be gone to the arm of his wife.

In understanding the above sentiment, perhap you will be better able to approach this issue with an open mind, show that open mind to your Mom in laws, talk to your husband and let him know your position. Take it as love and care instead of control. Try to said thanks to you mom-in-law for the caring she shown not only your husband but also you, because her actions affect both of you.

Old folks are naturally stubborn, one day, we shall be too, they dun like to listen to younger ones and the younger ones dun like to be in control, a conflict of interest. But this can be narrowed down if we understand the good rather than the bad behind every mother love for her children.

On the hindsight, smile ya, it's your mom-in-law and not another woman, or else it will be worst off. Having said all, there are mother-in-laws complaining about daughter in laws controlling their sons. Well, woman do want possession, but it can be fatal as excessive possession can lead to a man mental stress. He will be having a hard time trying to please all. As a wife, you should comfort him because you love him.

You dun deal with her, instead, try to thank her for her caring.

Wishing you a happy family

Answer 2

Do not buy her house even if you have to live in a tent! PLEASE do not. she is toxic. This problem only concerns you and your husband. Sometime you need to have a quiet dinner with him ( make a big deal about having a dinner meeting) and ask him how long he expects to continue to be manipulated by her. ( I dont know how recent recent is about the death of her other son) If he says 3 months, then let it go. Give that up . If he is waffling about it and doesnt know and has no plan, then you need to pull out a piece of paper you have prepared with some suggestions. You can frame the page like a presentation List the things you have written above such as 1-telling the town how she hates her daughters in law 2-the fact that other son and daughter in law cant stand her and do not take time for her so he is making up for their lack of time. 3-her more controlling ways Ask if he thinks that it is fair that you have to sufer through this. Be sure to not raise your voice, be calm, smile and look at it as a problem that you both share ( the fact that he called and asked you if he could go to her dinner means at least he values your opinion no? so Im hoping he will see the light) Say you are concerned that unless he can show you that there is a time limit on this situation with his mother , it will affect your marriage more than it already has. She is a selfish woman who cares not for her children since if she did she would never want them to be pulled away from their own little families to cater to her needs. I am sick of moms like that. The best moms realize that the greatest thing is letting their children live their own lives. I am so sorry your husband doesnt seem to get it yet but hopefully he will.

Answer 3

I will be married 2 years next month and dealt with the same problem up until a year ago. I had to stand my ground and tell him that when he put that ring on my finger, that was a sign to his mother that I was #1 in his life. The marriage was between me and him and not me, him and his mother. It took a few months, but eventually, he started to get sick of his mom butting in and "giving her advice" all the time. By the end of our first year of marriage, I didn't have to say anything anymore. He outgrew her. When she does interfere, I tell him how I feel and let him deal with her. I try to keep a good relationship with her even though I can't stand her most of the time.

Answer 4

Oh, this is so simple! The next time you catch one of the guys on here posting for a bride, e-mail him for shipping and handling. And send you MIL on an exotic one way vacation.
It may cost you 2 cartons of Camel cigarettes and a 24 pack of Bud, but well worth the investment!

Answer 5

well for starters a man is left to make his own decision the minute he leaves the nest and no longer depends on mom and dad to drive him to new lengths. speak to your husband and tell him how you fell about his mom still trying to run his life and im sure he will realize once again what all mothers always succeed to do and that is blind thier children of what they dont want them to see

hope for the best
good luck!! =)
jasmin

Answer 6

You can't do anything. Your husband has to be the one to stand up to her and tell her to butt out of your business. You should have a discussion with your husband about it. If he can't or won't stand up to her, you may just have to deal with it.

Answer 7

You need to be firm with both of them. He has to take a stand to back you up or you have nothing. If he refuses to do so, suggest you move away from her so you don't have to deal with her and when he says "NO" . Start to make your own plans.

Answer 8

You shouldn't interfere. It's your husband's responsibility to tell his mother to "butt out", that he is a married man. And your husband could also help by not discussing things with her that he should be discussing with you.

Answer 9

Tell your husband to grow a set of balls and deal with it himself.

Answer 10

tell her that he's grown up now and if you have a problem tell me because I'm your daughter-in-law so believe it or not I'm related to you now and tell your husband that he needs to quit listening to his mother all the time and start listening to you or you and him are going to have problems