My wife feels that I am being immature. I had scheduled an appointment with the mechanic to have my car looked at in the morning. Later during the day my wife asked me if she could make an appointment with her doctor (who's office is exactly 11minutes by WALK) and that I would give her a ride in my car. She doesn't have a car yet. She got her appointment. The same evening I realized that I had forgotten the car appointment and just assumed that since the doc's office is only 11 minutes by walk, she won't mind walking. Since this is a new doctor, she doesn't really know where the office is. When I told her she has to walk as my car will be at the shop, she became upset. She started coming with reasons that she doesn't think the doctor is really 10-11 minutes by walk. I tried convincing her many times. I told her that she was being stubborn and that i know for a fact it is 10 minutes. To prove my point, I walked to the office right then. I was back home in less than 25 mintues.
2007-05-30 12:24:59 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now she thinks I am stubborn/immature that I went to the extent of walking to prove a point. Please tell me if I am really immature and stubborn!
2007-05-30 12:26:46 · update #1
Btw, she has spider veins and that's why she needs to see this doc. She says that I am not being compassionate enough since this is a leg problem. She goes for walks in the evening regularly the same distance, so why is this any different?
2007-05-30 12:29:57 · update #2
I think you wife is being quite unreasonable. I cant see a logical reason why she would be thinking you are the one being immature and stubborn. You walked to the doctors office, not to be immature, but to prove a point. At least that put a stop to her excuses....she had no other come back than to call you immature. You proved your point and there was no reason then for her not to walk. The spider veins thing is just another excuse....walking for 30 minutes is not going to matter to her legs at all. Maybe she's got PMT or maybe shes menopausal because there is no other logical reason why she is making such a big deal out of this.
2007-05-30 12:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on HOW you approached the "i'll show you" thing. If you had attitude about it like "i told you so" well then yes you are being somewhat immature. you probably should have suggested you both go for a casual walk together and showed her where exactly it is.
If she walks every evening, then i believe she is being somewhat stubbourn, and uncompromising in this situation.
It also depends on the nature of the car troubles. If its something that could wait another day or week to re-schedule, then you probably should have made the compromise, if for nothing else, to avoid this confrontation.
At the end of the day, you're obviously both as stubbourn as each other, and sounds like neither of you are willing to compromise.
You have to prioritise and decide what is more important. someone is going to lose out regardless, so make the most sensible choice and realise that i had to be done.
Either way it's not the end of the world.
Good luck, hope you resolve something.
2007-05-30 13:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter who is doing what. Name calling just leads to the argument becoming damaging to the relationship (if this is how you argue). You need to solve the problem, not be "right".
Frankly it sounds like you both are unable to communicate in a positive manner. This is something pretty petty and really not that big of a deal, yet you both turned it into a huge fight. You both need to learn how to talk to one another.
Truthfully she is acting like the bigger brat of the two of you, but be the better person. Why dont you walk with her to the doctors office, the appointment for the car is early in the day and the appointment for the doctor is later. Is it possible for you to leave the car at the shop so you can do so?
2007-05-30 12:37:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the issue isn't the doctor at all, nor the walk, but being thought of. Perhaps she was looking forward to being with you when she went to the doctor. She may have felt neglected and forgotten. Women often have issues like this. Making your point probably only made it more painful, since distance Wasn't the issue. Your love was. Focusing on the ‘problem’ and not seeing the real issue can cause space between couples.
I had an abandonment issue as a young woman. My father was very distant. My brother was my hero, but forgot me when he got married. I was only 5, but it created a lifetime of pain and loss. I lost men because I couldn't tell them how I felt, becoming angry or manipulative (like my parents). Sometimes I just didn't know what I felt. I just felt unloved and alone…. and I didn't know it came from my past.
Making a point isn't always the best thing in arguments. So often, we need to be right… but sometimes when you win, you lose.
Hope this helps, Love. Good luck. ;-)
2007-05-30 12:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by Eudora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is being immature not you. Its not like you were driving by there anyways and made her walk.. Your car was going to be in the shop so you didn't have your car. If it was that big of a deal for her, she could have rescheduled her appointment. I think it is funny that you walked it yourself just to prove your point and I think I leaned more towards your side because you actually walked it yourself and proved it wasn't that long.
Hope you work things out.
2007-05-30 12:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by CARM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she DID ask you before she made the appointment if you could drive her and you said yes.
I would have found a way to drive her or have had someone else take her. She asked you beforehand because she didn't want to walk there for whatever reason. Probably did not make matters better that you walked there just to prove something.
2007-05-30 12:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by NoSurrender 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Someone else here said it best. You two need to learn to be friends again. As far as I'm concerned, having your car see a "doctor" is less important than your wife seeing a doctor. In my opinion you were being immature and stubborn and she was likely hurt that you'd actually wanted her to walk to a doctor appointment. I wouldn't even treat a stranger that way. It's just insensitive.
2007-05-30 12:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by Wonderin' 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i can relate to you. my boyfriend thinks I'm a emotional wreck. and men don't understand that woman are emotional. i would say just try to talk to him when you feel upset or even before you get upset. sometimes would works for me is to try to sit him down and talk to him about things that make you upset or and make you cry and sad. men are very stubborn and immature to something but they cant change if we don't teach them and show them how we feel. i wouldn't say leave him unless you really cant deal with it anymore i would say communication is the key and if that doesn't work and nothing doesn't change then maybe you need someone more mature. Good luck !
2016-05-17 07:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right a little walk want hurt her. Get her to walk down there with you or drive her this evening and show her how to get there on her own. I was under a chemo treatment and worked out at the gym 3 times a week. Tell her to grow up.
2007-05-30 12:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn buddy whats more important your precious car or your wife . You mean to tell me you would rather let your wife down then the mechanic ? I just cant see what you don't understand here. I'm a guy and normally stand by the guys but this is really stubbornness on your part sorry .
2007-05-30 12:35:36 · answer #10 · answered by dad 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋