What can be wrong?

Question

My hubby & I havving married for almost 5 yrs.. Ever since we have had a good relationship in & out of bed too..we have 3 kids (6,2 & 4month baby) and we have enjoy our intimacy by playing games , spening time alone & much more but lately when we make love he says that I'm not in to it , cuz I am always tired .I told him that maybe is because so much stress that I have I wake up every day at 6:15 to clean the house while kids are sleeping then star 2 get ready 2 work @ 7:30(work full time M-F 9- 6 pm)after work I pick up the kids & get home spend time with them, dinner, shower, homework and by 91/2 they get have 2 be in bed, then I prepare lunch 4 next day & hubby arrives 4rm work(10pm)by 11:30 i'm in bed tired & with no desired ,that's why I think is stress besides I wake up in the middle of the nigth 2 feed my baby!!I do laundry only on Saturday's & Sunday I wake up at 8am.. Can this be the problem? What do you think? Any advices on what 2 do or not do?? THANKS:)

Yes I forgot he work form 7a.m - 4 pm then he has a second job from 6- 10 monday - Saturday .... He does help but not enough everything was fine with no problem at all , this problem started last march !! When I went back to work!!

Answer 1

Oh boy sounds like my hubby and I. With taking care of my some and working full time I just never seem to have any time to relax let alone get in the mood for some "fun". We stopped doing things together and all I wanted to do in what little free time I had was sleep. We finally ended up going to see a counselor who taught us ways to share the load around the house and such so maybe every once and a while I could feel in the mood. It has helped us alot. Its not perfect by any means but I dont think anyone can be with children. The counselor said you have to work on your relationship before you can work on the kids or there wont be any relationship left. she said its one of the biggest mistakes couples make all the time. Good luck to you and feel free to contact me if you just need to talk.

Answer 2

I suggest better scheduling of time and tasks that way you can fit in some sexy time. Maybe put the kids in an afterschool program so you can catch a quick nap/ drop them off with friends or family (on sporatic days) so you can take a nap or get more done in a shorter time, try to shorten your work day to 5pm (if not every day, once a week), break up the tasks with your hubby (like late night feeding),go on a date every other weekend with your husband like you did in the old days and plan a sexy night. If you want to save money, just plan to seduce him everyonce in a while as he walks in the door. It really just sounds like you guys need some alone time to reconnect. My bf and I are going through the same thing right now and just started our reconnect, he has told me before that I just wasn't into it and when we get home, we often relax and snuggle up to a movie and fall asleep instead of making love. Which is all good and dandy but the fire must live on. We broke it up by going out on an expensive sushi date with a little drinking. We talked more at that dinner than we had at any other dinner, went home and made amazing love before running out to a late movie. When it was all over, we were bummed, snuggled up and slept all night.

Answer 3

Okay, firstly, what time does he go into work and why isn't he helping? I work part-time and my husband full-time, but he still has it in him to help out when he is home. He understands that the house and children alone are a full-time job. Plus add my part-time and student roles. If he wants more out of your marriage, then he should be willing to put more in. Secondly, that 4 month old of yours, (as wonderful as it is) is a serious drain on you. If your husband were to take initiative to feed at night or do laundry on the weekends, then that could make a world of difference. A word of caution. Sleep deprivation does not just affect your current state of mind and emotional well being, it shortens your lifespan as well. Do what you can to be there for your babies as long as you can.

Answer 4

you don't say what time your hubby goes to work. Is it possible for him to let you sleep in one day while he does the morning chores. It could be a good trade off and you won't be so tired. Also if he is also off on weekends, maybe he could help with the laundry. Also if your baby is bottle fed why can't hubby get up to feed in the middle of the night.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you've let children become more of a priority if your life than the man you married.

My only advice is to have your husband clean the house and make the lunches. Also, he should take turns feeding the baby with formula to give you a rest. It doesn't all have to be breastmilk. I started sharing in bottle feeding our son before he was a week old. We've got a daughter arriving in one month and I'll be sharing in that again.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

i don't want this to sound like I'm being mean, but we are all extremely busy people.
we are all stressed out.
we are all tired and done by 9 p.m.
all of us for different reasons.
but i feel that you should at least act like you're into it, for your husbands sake. you're hurting his ego, and sex is a part of a relationship.....and my dear, it does relieve stress. you don't have to pull an all nighter. give him 10 minutes of your time. you love him right? stop thinking about it as a chore. you probably just don't feel very sexy because you just had a baby and stuff, but I'm sure your husband still thinks you're hot....he is trying to get some all the time right?

Answer 8

I think it is time to tell your husband that the greatest sexual turn on a woman in your position can have is a man who knows how to run a vacuum, clean the toilets, and do the laundry!

Answer 9

Yes. Being tired, being stressed, or being worried will keep you from being interested in sex.

Make a list of all the chores you do. Tell him if he does 3/4ths of them, you won't be so tired and will be interested in sex.

Answer 10

There's nothing wrong. You're just tired. I got tired just reading your daily schedule. Suggest that you and your husband share the household duties so that you'll have time to devote to him too.