most people blame 'the other woman', but in my opinion she is the least be blame, the most to be blamed is the wife and the husband, firstly, the wife and husband have problems which they can't resolve or don't want to resolve, secondly the husband should divorce the wife and then find another woman but he is too scared to change. what do you think?
2007-05-30 11:31:05 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think the 'wife' has EVERYTHING to be blamed, most of the time they are unwilling to listen, nagging, or just stubbon personality. this world is not black and white, i believe if the cheated wife proactively seek out to communicate better, then the husband is less likely to cheat.
2007-05-30 11:49:56 · update #1
It is always the responsibility of the one stepping out on the commitment. In this scenario, it is the husband.
2007-05-30 11:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like we are trying to ease someones mind. Lets just narrow this down to the husband and the mistress and leave the wife out of it for the moment. Assuming all are adults here but not acting like it then I think that adults learned their lessons about right and wrong years ago, probably as young children. In an affair between two people both can share equal blame, both know what they are doing is wrong. Get some help with family issues from professionals and not from someone on the side. They will never give you good clear advice and also realize that a big part of the problem you do not want to resolve is the other person. Let everyone act like adults and make adults decisions, deal with your family issues first...good or bad...and then worry about where your life leads you. Scared is an excuse that will hurt everyone in the end.
2007-05-30 11:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by okman740 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always wondered about that too!
Why do women always go after the mistress when they find out. She isn't the one that made a vow to be faithful "till death due us part"!
Sometimes, the mistress doesn't even know the husband is married.
The husband is the most to blame!
Depending on the circumstances, the wife could take some blame.
2007-05-30 11:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Matt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The husband is the one to blame for stepping out on his wife...
Second, the wife is to blame for not meeting his needs...If that's even the case. It could be that he's just a dog & goes out to get what he wants no matter what is at stake.
Third, the wife if she doesn't do anything about it...and lets it go on with her knowledge
last, the mistress...If she knew about the marriage & continued to see the husband, she is to blame as well. If she didn't know, then the husband is to blame, for being a dirty, filthy, lying dog.
There are all different scensarios, you can't just say one or the other. Every situation is different.
Does this answer your question?
2007-05-30 11:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by lilzoo411@yahoo.com 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In most cases I know of, it's when the wife and husband have settled into the comfort zone of the marraige. No spontaneity or romance anymore. This does happen in most relationships. But if the husband picks up a mistress, it is usually his fault and no one else's. Unless this mistress knows he is married and wanted it anyway. Then she is partially to blame. Many times the mistress doesn't know he is married. He just wants a little spontaneity, romance, sex, and goes for it.
And to answer the second portion, the husband doesnt divorce because a.) there may be children. He doesn't want to leave them. b.) there is that comfort zone. He has a home, a liffe, a family to come home to. Doesn't want that to end. Many times it is because he wants his wife to be like she used to be and because she is no longer that person (and of course, neither is he), he tries to find it elsewhere.
2007-05-30 11:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by Lara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't one specific thing to point out. When couples don't resolve issues and communicate effectively, things do tend to go wrong. Both partners need to step back and ask themselves what they might be doing wrong and make that a starting point. Second, talk to each other about what it is you would like to see change or do differently. What are each others expectations? When those points can be worked everything will slowly come into play. There is no reason for cheating. If someone has gotten to the point of wanting to cheat it is the responsibility of the possible cheater to let there partner know that their feelings have or are starting to change. You don't ever want to blindside a mate who has been by your side through thick and thin. Cheating is just a symptom that something is wrong. The name of the game is to prevent anything from going wrong to avoid that symptom. Talk, laugh and put each other first before anything else. Even if you have children, if the couple doesn't come first, there is no real foundation for the family. I know from experience.
2007-05-30 11:44:36 · answer #6 · answered by !~!~Edward~!~! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Overall the blame lies on whoever is having the affair. In this case, the married husband. He chose to go outside the marriage.
However, circumstances that can lead to such acts can be caused by all 3 involved, so while the husband is the MOST to blame, in reality, all 3 can be somewhat responsible. Not that it allows him the excuse to cheat on his wife, but both spouses need to deal with the real issues in the relationship, and the mistress needs to quit fooling around with married men.
2007-05-30 11:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyones marriage is different. However I don't really find the other woman to blame at all. Yes, she is wrong to be seeing a married man, but that is her problem. She did not make any promises to either party. They made promises to each other when they got married. I believe the husband who has the affair is to blame. Even if the wife is the worst wife in the world, that is no reason for him to cheat. He can always ask for a divorce.
My husband (ex) had two affairs. I was never angry at the women. Neither one knew me at all. They did not owe me a thing. He did. If he wasn't happy with me (and I guess he wasn't), he should have asked if we could do something to improve our marriage.
2007-05-30 12:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it is both of the husband and the mistresses fault. And buddy you're a bleeding idiot! Most of the damn time the wife is the last to know there is anything going on. She doesn't push her stupid husband to go out there and sleep with some dumb whore! And when a woman willingly sleeps with a married man then she is just as responsible as the cheating husband.
2007-05-30 11:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blaming the wife is a cop out. She isn't forcing him to cheat, it takes two to ruin a marriage, the man having the affair and his mistress. Just don't blame the wife, thats such a jerk thing to do, to excuse the husband's behavior of not respecting the marriage. If you are so unhappy, leave, don't have an affair, it only makes it worse.
2007-05-30 12:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's very silly that many of these post are blaming the wife. Whether it's the husband or wife that is being cheated on, they are still the victim in the situation.
If the cheater doesn't talk to the spouse and let them know what's lacking in their relationship. How will they know? Cheating is dishonest. If your needs aren't being met, you tell your partner what you want. If they still aren't satisfying you, then leave the relationship. It may be hard, but it's very simple.
The person to blame is the person who is being dishonest.
2007-05-30 11:44:27 · answer #11 · answered by Lane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋