When should this be enough!?

Question

My husband is 31yrs old and im 23yrs old and he has just left home for like the 20th time. We still lived with my parents so im okay but his excuse is always that he doesnt have the energy to put up with the situation anymore whatever it is be it his job or me or the baby crying too loud(my baby is 11months old) he is always so angry about everything then chooses to blame me and my immaturity. i dont know what to do anymore i dont want to take him back anymore and i think maybe i need someone younger who understands me. by the way he already has a 5 yr old daughter what does he think? that he can just leave kids all over the US or what? My parents were right. what should i do now? i only make 9.50 an hr can i even survive on that? Please help

Answer 1

I think you know what's wrong. You cannot go on living with your parents indefinitely. It sounds like you are still under your parents' influence and of course your husband will resent this. I think some of his anger may be frustration at the siuation - a couple should have their own home, even though it is small and cramped.

I wish you well and hope that you can be reconciled with your husband. Tell him that you understand his feelings and that you will be willing to move when the opportunity arises.

Answer 2

well- you hsould never depend on a man anyway. There's lots of programs out there that could help you example county medical insurance, WIC, any kind of low income daycare. Look around where you live and get into these programs that help single mothers. The smartest thing for you to do is leave him and don't look back. he's left many many times and keeps coming back because he knows ur willing to take him back whenever and that should change. Sounds like ur fed up with all ur going through with him so kick him and out and move on. Get a divorce, make him pay you child support and lvie your life for you child. You should not be with someone because a child attaches u to them- stay if you love each other but if the love isn't enough for you guys to work together and make things better then don't waste ur time. Trust me- no matter how old the next guy is- you can NEVER measure maturity by someone's age and if you meet someone about ur age he will most likely be partying having his fun and most likely won't want to be with a gurl who's divorced with a child at least 20% of men don't mind dating women with kids but the rest do. It's the sad reality but true. I was a single mom for a bout 2 yrs till i met my soon to be husband. he's a wonderful guy. I never thought i'd meet anyone after my ex but hey- someone is out there for each person just be patient. Pray to God for help but you should be fine. THe smartest thing to do is live with your parents & try to go back to school to get some education out of the way to better your chances of getting a better job since your baby will need the more he/she grows. Good luck and do what you got to do for you r child & urself. If this guy really loved you he wouldn't be leaveing & coming back the way he is either he leaves for good or stays for good. Seems like he doesn't like responsibility and that's true the other child he has from the previous relationship is proof that he's not stable at least with his 1st child why would he be stable with a wife & new child??? kinda lame think about it and do what you gotta do!

Answer 3

I'm 24 yrs old and going through a similar situation and what I suggest is to think of the best interest of your baby. It will be difficult raising a baby on your own but at least you have the support of your family. I say he is the one who is immature being angry all the time and blaming you for everything, get yourself away from all the negative B.S you don't need that, you are still young you will find someone better and then you will look back and it will all be a blur...hope this helps good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

It sounds to me that he is the immature one, if he can't deal with the day to day "normal" life of having a family. You shouldn't take him back, because no one deserves to be treated this way. Not only that but if he really loved you and wanted to be with you then he would never leave you. You can make it on what you make an hour, but there are sacrifices that you will have to make. There are many income based apartments out there, HUD houses (which would be based on your income, food stamps, TEA (cash assistance to help pay your bills), day care assistance, and many other things to help people out when they need it. I had a child when I was 17 and have been on my own since (I am now 24), and lived in income based apartments, and had food stamps for the first 5 years while I was going to college and worked a full time job only making $6.50 an hour, and we made it just fine.

Answer 5

As long as you are living with your parents and they are ok with you staying there, you should get into one of those work programs where you learn a job skill within like 6 months or a year, then get a better job, then get an apartment, then get divorced. NEVER take him back. If he keeps leaving, he won't stop, and now that your child is getting older, the child will begin to pick up on the discord between you two. That's probably where some of the intense crying comes in right now. If the child is his, get child support also, and there are lots of programs for young women to get back on their feet. Welfare, Section 8 housing, daycare subsidy, etc. Go to a local Health Dept. and talk to a counselor or something, and find out where and how you can get help for you and your child.

Answer 6

Chill out. Everything will be allright. I raised a daughter as a single parent (male) for 17 years. She is now 19 years old and has two of her own. Sometimes the answers we need as parents don't really come to us while we are busy trying to support and raise our kids at the same time. Take some time and do some counselling. If he won't go with you go by yourself. I have years of repressed anger to live out over my wife leaving me, but in the end it was a good decision. Good luck raising your baby. Take alot of pictures. Time goes by way too fast.

Answer 7

It doesn't sound like you are the immature person in this case. Of course you don't have as much life experience as he, but he knew that going into it. As far as being able to do it on your own...Of course you can. But you need to have a plan in place. Truly you don't make much money and child care is way too expensive. At this point you may have to consider getting some assistance until you feel that you can stand firmly on your feet. Or, if they don't mind and you don't mind you may need to stay with your parents for a while longer. I'm not usually one to say give up on your marriage, but it takes both of you to make it work and it doesn't sound like he is willing to do that now. Do what you need to do, you will be able to make it. Women do it everyday.

Answer 8

It will be hard to raise a child on $9.50/hr, but lucky for you there is goverment help for single mothers. And if you leave him you will be just that. Not to mention the child support that the courts will MAKE him pay. You shouldn't have to put up with that. You can handle the stress and he's gotta leave because he can't handle it, yet he calls YOU immature? Find a man that will love you and your daughter, one that will treat you with respect and would never leave you alone to 'handle' HIS child. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 9

A 31 year old man that lives with his mother in law ??
Dump this mooch and get a man..... of any age...
You and especially your baby deserve better.

It is not you fault. Don't let him dump his failures on your shoulders.

You show great maturity when you say you don't want to take him back any more. You are right on the money with that one.

Speaking about money, you have your parents to help you until you get on your feet. I am sure they will be glad to do that if you dump the bum.

Answer 10

well u can survive on it if u continue to live with ur parents. U can save up money to get ur own place. maybe he needs to grow up and be the man that he is suppose to be. and yes some men think thatthey can have babies all over the place and not have to take care of them. U should probably lookin into getting child support through the courts that way he will HAVE to pay it, they can take it right out of his pay check.