I love my husband very much. I know for sure that he is a man with no heart and a lot of ego. he is nice sometimes...and double the bad other times. every time we fight I feel like leaving him and going away. he feel the same when he fights with me. we both know that there is no understanding between us. we both think we are trying to understand each other but actually we are not.
nothing is working between us. our sex life sucks. i hate his ego and immaturity. he hates soo many things about me.
i take him as he is and try to be happy...but sometimes it gets too much and i start to think he is bossing over me.
at one time he follows indian culture...and american culture at other times.
but lately i noticed that americans care very much for family esp at old age.
its only we people having different culture coming to another country follow neither this or that culture.
what should we do? i am all confused. i dont have a job and i depend on my husband. i cannot concentrate on studies.
2007-05-30 10:46:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he dosent know what to do either. he says lets do whatever i want when i say i cannot tolerate this more. at the same time if i ask him to give up and show some care...he just does not.
this is y i feel he is immature. even he does not know what to do. may be he is confused too.
2007-05-30 10:57:35 · update #1
WHATEVER MADE YOU GET MARRIED? It is evident that you two allowed love to take -- the emotional ties -- when you clearly did not know each other very well.
At this point, you both need professional counseling. A religious priest, social worker are two ways to get help without costing a lot if anything at all.
You also need to know that a large part of really loving someone has to do with how you feel about yourself with that person. I don't think it is a real love you two have--it just may be the 'idea' of having someone in your life. That does not make for a good long lasting relationship.
You both need to realize that ANY relationship requires WORK and get to work on fixing this one. Learn the expectations of each other and agree to supply those needs.
Marriage is not a cake walk in the park, but it sure as hell should not be tension filled everyday. You both sound young and possibly NEITHER of you were ready for marriage. Evaluate why you got married in the first place and determine if it was a good reason. No, not just for love! Grow up, LOVE DOES NOT SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS.
2007-05-30 11:31:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the answer lies in none of the options you have looked at so far. Perhaps the answer is to temporarily separate to allow you to finish your studies. Then, assuming you take the summer off, work on your marriage during the summer months. During the separation, go to individual counseling. When your counselors feel it is right for you both, go in for some marriage counseling. There is love between you. You just need to learn to communicate better. Best of luck!
2007-05-30 11:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by starrrrgazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the part of the ceremony that said for better or worse, til death do us part? Marriage is not an every day picnic.........And neither is life. Actually both are what YOU wish to make of it. Since you're unable to agree on much, perhaps a shot at counseling can steer you both in some kind of positive direction.
2007-05-30 10:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest NOT to stay , what do you prefere a happy marriage or a bored & not happy marriage ... you need to have a life and move on find someone that will love you and will be part of your happily future no mare your culture if your are not happy there is not a marriage well at least this is what I think in my personal opinion but it is up to you!! good luck
2007-05-30 11:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both would like to make it work but can't.
You need to go to a marriage couselor together. I don't think the culture differences is an issue. I have tons of friends who are married but from different background. If we're soulmates, then the country/ religion/ color doesn't matter.
You just can't stay unhappy like that and you need to succeed your studies.
Maybe getting a part-time job somewhere will aleviate the stress on both of you. You won't feel so dependant, and will get to know other people, and he won't feel as though he's taking care of you exclusively.
2007-05-30 10:55:34 · answer #5 · answered by yogi 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you need to get out of that marriage before you die physically or spiritually. The negative energy intensifies because it's trapped. You need your air to feel good again. Tell him you're sorry. You made a mistake. You thought this would be a good and happy marriage. Instead it is a case of two people stuck together in misery. If he wants to change it, he can find a way to resolve his issues but not with you in the same house with him. Find somewhere to go.
2007-05-30 10:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound to me like he is the right man for you. And I think you know it too. Try to talk things through together. Would you consider family therapy? If it doesnt improve maybe it's time to consider leaving him. If you decide to do this apply for a steady job where you don't need to many qualifications. Good luck. Xx
2007-05-30 11:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you two tried counseling? You don't want to be miserable and unhappy for the rest of your lives. Do you two have any children? Children need to see healthy relationships, not unhealthy ones. This is one of the ways that they learn to treat others. If you can honestly say you both have tried everything to fix things, and the answer is yes, then its time to move on.
2007-05-30 11:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents split after 18 years of marriage, building a life together in this country and raising 2 kids. Today I know it's the best thing they could have done. My mom only has a HS education, barely knows english and is handling her own. Be strong and independent - the struggle will be hard, but you will be better off!
2007-05-30 10:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by betsylokes 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think that you two at the very least need to get some couseling... seperately and as a couple
at the most, a divorce
but definitly try counseling before you have to take that step and give it one more try
there is a serious lack of understanding and communication
i hope whatever the outcome may be... that its best for you both
good luck
2007-05-30 10:57:40 · answer #10 · answered by stase 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋