Why do some people hate kids who were in foster care or were adopted?

Question

thank you very much....i feel a little hurt no i don't have the problem......i am curious due to negative comments i received about my ex boyfriend from family, teachers and schoolmates.......
don't even start on me.....i loved him very much and a very big part of me still does...even though i haven't seen him for 7 years.

Answer 1

who said so????

Answer 2

I've never heard that, my nephew and a cousin were adopted into our family and we all love them just the same, it's not who gave birth but who raises the child, that's who the parents and family are. We don't think of them as adopted, they're family.

As far as foster kids I feel sorry for what they go through, they are split up from their siblings, go from home to home and you hear how horrible they are treated, my heart goes out to them, it seems a lot of people do it for the money and not because they love kids. I also know sometimes they are lucky and end up in a good foster home, but that seems to be few and far between. There is also a time when the system just stops helping when the come of age, they are treated like throw aways, we need a system in place so these kids and young adults don't fall threw the cracks of the system.

Answer 3

Im adopted and i dont tell anyone as it fills me with asense of not having the package everyones entitled too
never had anyone stand up for me and my adopted mom used to make fun of the fact i was unwanted
witgh her relatives

maybe thats why adopted kids dont tell anyone
theres a stigma attached to it

for years until i did psychotherapy i thought that people laughing were laughing at me and i became very shy and introverted

now im much more confident since i realised that i had the neurosis brought on by my childhood experiences

Answer 4

I don't believe that most people who are rational would automatically "hate" another person just for being adopted or in foster care. I think that there would be more to it. For instance, my younger sister was seeing a boy (she was 16 he was 18) who was in foster care from the age of 12 and had just "aged out". It turned out that he was in foster care because he committed a sex crime against younger children. My reasons for not liking him were not due to his status as a foster child. It was his behavior, which led to him being in foster care, that concerned me. So I would say that the reasons for the person being in foster care or adopted (such as if they were behavioral issues rather than the parents not taking care of the child), would be the reason for any "hatred" or, more than likely, worry and caution.

Answer 5

OK. I've got this Hipotesis.
" Kids who dont fell like their parents love them or care enough for them will in some degree dislike or bother kids who are adopted because they feel jelous of the care and love they're receiving"

To the children's eyes parents are supposed to give love. If kids dont feel that, then they automatically think something is wrong with them. It's only natural that a kid gets jalous when he sees something he wants but can't have.

Answer 6

It prob goes on and it is crazy to do so. Personally I think they might have a dream of the idealic world what a family is but get the dream completely wrong and resent the kids for this. WRONG but only an answer. Other than that some sadistic reason from their own childhood.

Answer 7

I didn't know that anyone did. Maybe foster/adopted people sometimes lack some of the social skills and confidence that others have, or have a visible chip on their shoulder, but certainly not all, and it's not their fault so no-one could or should hold it against them. Can you give an example?

Answer 8

Havn't a clue. In my school there were a few of kids who are in foster care or were adopted, and we just treated them like anyone else. One of them was quite a good friend of mine, and her adoptive parents were amazing. If she didn't tell you that she was adopted then you wouldn't have guessed, her parents were the most loving parents in the world. No one, at the time, seemed to hate her, but maybe i just missed it. I certainly didn't feel any different towards her! xx

Answer 9

my own son had to live in foster care for a little while, and I think they are stigmatized because of the idea that if their parents, or in my son's case, his mother, didn't want to raise him, or just couldn't face being a parent anymore, that the child is too far gone to be cared about. You are probably wondering why I don't have him myself? I have too many medical problems that keep me from being a full-time parent and he is better off living where he is, with my sister, his aunt.

Answer 10

& who are you referring to??

My parents have adopted 3 children over the past 10yrs & they love them to bits!! So does the rest of the extended family & everyone that comes into contact with them!

Maybe you have the issue with adoption / foster care??

Answer 11

I think Ive missed some of your info but maybe people have a problem cos their own upbringing, my mum always taut me how to respect myself and others and she now works for a company who look after children that have a had a rough upbringing and she loves them!