what does this mean?

Question

before anyone jumps down my throat on my question, please understand I haven't "dated" in 8 years ...

So my soon-to-be ex-husband told me today that his "mistress" parents and sister were in town 2 weekends ago, and he met them. Understand that I want my husband back more than anything, and please dont judge me for this. I'm trying so hard not to read into things too much, but I can't help it. Meeting the parents and sister seems like a bad sign for me when I want him back. I guess people introduce the person they are "seeing" to their parents all the time and it end up not working out. But in the back of my mind, i'm thinking why would she want to introduce him to her parents if it wasn't getting more serious? however, she DOES have a track record of going from guy to guy to guy to guy ... when she gets bored, she leaves them. any imput would be greatly appreciated. Please be nice, i'm already feeling really down right now.

it has nothing to do with self esteem. I am a very strong woman, and very confident. I simply believe that marriage can conquer anything. Marriage and Parenting are the two most important things in my life. I am Christian, and I can forgive.

Answer 1

Yes it is tough to let go and it is easy to see that you do not want to. The bottom line is he is gone and all you are holding onto is the hope that he will change his mind. He knows deep down if he walked away from her, he could have you back in a flash, I am sure you have made that known to him. It is time for you to accept the fact that he gave up on a wonderful woman that loved him like she never will (based on her track record). Just tell him good luck and you wish him the best and don't look back. You feel like you have lost him, but he does not feel like he has lost you, does that make sense? It is time to roll back the tarp and let him see that you are not cowering under it waiting for him to come back. As hard as it is, it is time to turn loose.

Answer 2

He needs to end it with this women right away and have no contact with her at all!!! Have you been to a marriage counselor? I would suggest it. He is completely in the wrong and should never have met her family. I don't think it is a good sign at all..... does he want your marriage to work?? I understand you love him and want it to work, but at what cost?? You need to respect yourself and not let him do what he is doing. Put your foot down and stand up for yourself..... you will be better in the long run either way you end up.... You may find he doesn't want to lose you and he will leave this other woman in fear of losing you or you will move on and find someone who will treat you right... Good luck

PS Check out ojar.com it is a great and helpful website for relationship problems!!!

Answer 3

You should get counseling....Many schools and jobs actually offer counseling--find out if its available to you if you have either of these. Through counseling, you will get some peace of mind and it will help in lifting some depression you are feeling.....I personally think that you should move on as he has, get a professional to help you heal, and eventually down the road there will be someone who really is for you (when the time is right)....Rightnow is a time to work on yourself and ignore the ignorant people (like the woman who is destined to break your husband's heart)....Also, since the mistress is a heart breaker, LET HIM LEARN THE HARD WAY!! In the end, when's its over, he'll say that you right and he'll feel really horrible....Don't give ignorant people any of your time--it will only hold you back by making you physically and mentally sick...Don't allow other people to kill your body..Stress can kill you, please get some help!

Answer 4

Sorry your down but you gotta call a spade a spade. If your soon to be ex-husband is meeting his mistress parents, then you already know whats going on. They are making some kind of plans with each other after the divorce is final...It may be hard to hear but sometimes its better to know upfront than to ignore the facts. Don't set yourself up to believe that there is nothing between them. You guys are getting a divorce for a reason. Sounds as if he is meeting with his replacement family. Hold your head up and let him go...Just chalk it up to you being his loss!!! Be glad that she took that baggage off your hands so you can find a real man who will love and respect you...good luck.

Answer 5

You need to read 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Love isn't a good enough reason to be someones doormat. Don't dare sell yourself short for a man who disregards you to the level that he tells you what he is doing with other women. Is your self respect that low. Are you that needy. Do you know who you are in Christ and that God made everything on this earth first before making a woman so that it all would be here for her when he created her. Did you know that your value is that far above rubies and that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Who are you that you would lower yourself to the status of a servant and not that of a queen with your own husband.

Answer 6

wow, this must be tough ,but what a jerk to tell you about meeting "the folks", its like he wants u to suffer, but the truth is they took the step in meeting the family and sometimes it could be serious and sometimes it isn't. Let me ask u this is she the reason of your break up?? Is he the relationship kind of guy or not? if not maybe he's not looking for anything serious with anybody right now bc he's getting out of a relationship. You do have to move on, but never give up.

Answer 7

Sorry, but you have to let this thing run its course. If it's true that this woman is fickle, he'll have to find it out for himself. You might warn him about her, but if that doesn't change his mind, you'll have to wait for the relationship to fall apart.
This stuff is very painful to hear and your husband should be more considerate of your feelings. In fact, you might tell him that you'd rather not hear about his affair. Not only is he being disrespectful, but his behavior is tacky. Perhaps a swift kick in the butt by Madam Mistress is just what this guy needs.

Answer 8

Dear Heartbroken,
What's the going on, are you divorcing and you are not accepting it or is he stringing you along? Its sounds like a little bit of both. You've got to ask yourself, do I really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? It seems like from what you've said that it is time to let go, maybe it won't be this girl who he ends up with but, who's next, do you really want to settle for second place if things go bad with this girl? Because the sad fact is that he no longer wants to be married to you. So cry about it and be sad, then get mad and then move on. Everyone deserves love, everybody and you are no exception. So let go of this and allow yourself a chance and finding a love that will last, I believe you will.

Answer 9

Sometimes it's very hard to accept that the person we love no longer loves us. It's even harder when that person moves on with someone else. It is normal to feel a sense of rejection. It sounds like you are just beginning to realize that you soon to be ex is no longer in love with you even though you want him to be. Accepting this fact is the best thing you can do for yourself. It doesn't matter who he's dating or what kind of a person she is. What does matter is for you to realize that that he no longer loves you and no longer desires a relationship with you. The longer it takes you to comprehend and accept this fact, the harder it's going to be.
You need to make a decision right now to being living your life. Say to yourself that "I am a great person and deserve to have a great guy". The man you married is not for you.

Answer 10

Well if he is wanting to meet the parents then you need to find another man honey. Please don not go back with ex's it never works out. You only think it will because you guys know each other. Go out have some fun. Are there any kids involved? That might make a difference.