When I'm angry or upset I don't want to talk about it?

Question

Is it OK to not feel like talking when I'm hurt or angry with someone?
Or is it better to just say something right away?

Answer 1

Whether to speak to someone right away or not depends on the situation. There is no "right" way to do it. For you, though, not speaking about it may reflect some degree of belief that it cannot be changed, or that you don't have the power over your own life to be able to speak about the issue at hand.

If that does not sound like your experience, you may just need the time to think about the situation before you can really say what it is you want to say. Sometimes anger can seem to block our ability to think out a problem, so giving ourselves the time to consider what we want to say is the best way to do it. If you are having conflict with the same person, and don't want to talk with him or her at the time, let them know this, at a time when you are not in conflict.

Answer 2

G'day, Yes.. it's ok to say, " I don't want to talk about it just now ok?"
But it's very important to later make an appointment to suit you and the person you have an issue with, to talk about how you are feeling now and how you felt at the time of the upset, and to listen without interruption to what the other person has to say. Then you have the opportunity for a great friendship, yes even with your family!!!
Always come back later.. never tuck it away or it will go in that big bag that we call ' baggage' when we are older..
A TIP,,, don't discuss the issue in the place it happened.. find some neutral ground.. like out for coffee or a park.. open space is great..

Answer 3

It is best not to talk to the one that has upset you right then, because that will just stir up more anger inside you. Try getting away, and talking to a friend about getting upset. This way your anger will slowly get out of your system instead of increase. Even if you have to go off by yourself, just to let it go would be better than getting more hurt or angry.

Answer 4

You're normal, most people don't feel like talking when they're upset or angry, but once you cool off you should have a conversation with whoever upset you so you can talk things through and get it off your chest. I don't talk to anyone when i'm angry, but it's because i have a very bad temper and don't want to say anything i might regret, so i wait until i cool off before confronting them.

Answer 5

No two people are exactly the same, so no two people are going to "get angry" or get over their anger in the same way.

Some people will cuss, shout and kick (usually in tantrum form) others will skulk, be quiet, and fight out their problem themselves (or let it boil over until it becomes tantrum-like) and others will want to talk things out. It just depends on the person and their personality.

If you happen to be the type that doesn't want to talk about it, then thats' fine...just make sure that you don't let people mistake you not talking about it, with you being fine with whatever happened.

Answer 6

I do not like to talk when I am angry as well. I find that if I'm forced to talk, my anger drives my responses in the wrong direction, making the discussion counter-productive. If given time I will cool my jets and be ready to talk.

Oh and someone tell my wife that when I'm so angry that I walk away, please don't follow me it won't help.

Answer 7

It is ok to not talk about it right away, possibly to be able to avoid responding inappropriately. Also, sometimes you may be angry and realize it isn't a big deal when not in the moment. Though it is good to be able to talk about it, or the problem will not be resolved.

Answer 8

i have found if you wait until you have cooled down you are able to get your point accross without looking like a blubbering emotional idiot...BUT on the other hand, if you wait until you have cooled down, your initial anger isnt there anymore so you arent able to convey ho wimportant what you are saying is to you...i think if youy are able to contain your anger, the best thing to do is to tell the person that you are agnry to a point that you dont widh to discuss the issue right now, but you will be telling them why you are angry at a later time, when you have cooled off.

Answer 9

you know yourself better than anyone.. when i get like that i need to be alone for a while so i dont say the wrong thing... i tend to speak my mind and dont care if it hurts your feelings because im teling the truth but sometimes its not needed.. time to myself lets me gather my thoughts and then i can have a conversation with that person.

Answer 10

people handle things in different ways, there's not a right or wrong to feelings or emotions. personally, i think waiting to talk is actually a good idea, sometimes when we are upset - we tend to blurt out things we don't mean.