I have been married for 4 years. Last year, my husband was caught having an 8 mos affair w/my cousin. The relationship w/her and I is over for good. I tried working on my marriage, until Monday. I opened his creditcard bill and saw that he has been renting hotel rooms, on weekdays. He said he put it in his name for somebody, then I went to the hotel for a print out and saw that he paid cash in March, and credit in April. Then on back in Feb. Now he is pissed at me and said I shouldn't have went through his mail, and to grow up and it's a shame he can't have privacy in his home. So we both agreed to end our marriage, and for him to move out. Then he asked me to give him $1,000 to help him move out. I told him H*ll no, he is leaving me with 3 kids, and no job (stay at home mom). I did everything, and gave him freedom. He said he is grown and can do what he wants on his free time, and that he does not owe me an explanation for anything b/c I should have never went thru his mail
2007-05-30 08:02:07 · 22 answers · asked by sassy lady 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You do not need advice from us. What you need to do is get yourself to a good lawyer. And take all the paperwork with you. I doubt very much that opening a credit card bill is considered a crime. Are not most of the accounts in both names? He was dumb enough to have the bill with his cheating come to the house? You will probably win everything, and from the sound of it you will deserve it all. Get to the lawyer as soon as you finish reading this! Now! And close all the joint accounts so he can not run up the bills. As someone else said, clean out the joint checking account and any joint savings accounts. Do it now!
2007-05-30 08:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by don't plagiarize 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop looking at your husband as if he has the key to your happiness. You need to find your happiness in other ways... whether that's a hobby or having a coffee with a friend. With my husband working all the time, I realized that I had to be enough of a person on my own and I had to keep busy with friends and family and children and hobbies that made me smile and come alive. And that doesn't mean you should leave him because you should consider your children, and the fact that your husband doesn't want a divorce. Maybe he's unemotional because he's a simple man and is contented. I hope it all works out for you!
2016-05-17 05:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find you the BEST divorce attorney out there. Let the attorney get dirty while you stay in the marital home (which he could end up paying half of while the kids are still minors) grab as much child support and alimony you can. Get on the divorce diet, exercise, start looking great. Forget that looser.
DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE or help him financially. He works, let him pay for those expenses, like he paid for the hotel rooms.
2007-05-30 08:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by Carol D 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You obviously had good reason to go through his mail! If he was doing nothing wrong then why would he care what bill you saw! He is shady and obviously does not love you. Don't give him anything, he brought it on himself. Hit the employment adds and find a job, do what is right for you and your kids. This guy is no closer to a grown up than the baby in your belly. Get rid of him, before he brings something home to you and your baby! That is so gross!
2007-05-30 08:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hire an attorney, change the locks on the house, clean out the checking account before he does. File for divorce. Good for you for kicking his sorry butt out. Your kids don't need to see that as an example of marriage. I'm sorry you're going to go through that, but it will be for the best in the long run. Don't worry about being a stay at home mom--you can get a job and everything will be fine.
2007-05-30 08:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If thats the way he feels then file for divorce and sue his a.sfor everything youre legally entitled. You will be automatically award custody with child support,the house because of the kids, and possible spousal support. The Judge will order him to start paying support and how he does it the courts wont care as long as he pays it or could face jailtime for contempt. He wont have a choice but to get work to stay out of jail. The mail thing is of no concern now norwill the courts care either.Good luck
2007-05-30 08:18:29 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that he is having a hissy fit because you went through his mail is unbelievable, but typical too. He was caught and knows it! You need to go to a lawyer and make your husband PAY for the lawyer, pay child support and spousal. You should get it and make sure you have proof of his being unfaithful. That does tend to help in a divorce proceeding. I know that this is scary and painful but you can do it. He may try to weasle his butt out of it and come back home rather than pay any of this. Know him for what he is! A snake, and very childish too. I seriously hope you kept evidence and go get that print out from the motel too.
Good luck and although your having a very rough time keep your chin up and know soon you won't have to hear his lies anymore!
2007-05-30 08:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gee...grown and can do what he wants on his free time. like screw around on you huh? Yeah...sure...obviously he isn't as "grown 9up) as the believes. Plus....upset because you went through his mail. Well..the simple answer to that is if he wasn't sleeping around you wouldn't have found it necessary to do so now would youz/
To begin with...any man or woman who enters into an affair and is foolish enough to leave a paper trail like signatures in hotel registers and worse...credit card statements....is not just begging to be caught...but if given another brain becomes a half-wit.
Tell me...where did you find this dreg of society? Isn't it amazing how when you catch someone with their pants down...no pun intended here my dear...they become defensive and start blaming you for their fu*k-ups?
Oh...and the topper...the ultimate topper.."Give me a grand to move out". Yeah...well...i'd be glad to except you spent it all on hotel rooms and screwing my no good cousin you jerk!
The quicker you get this schmuck out of your life lady, the better off you'll be.
2007-05-30 08:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you on the credit card as well? If so, it's not HIS mail, it's YOUR (collective) mail. He's just mad that he got caught.... AGAIN! Let him know that a marriage is a partnership and BOTH parties have to be open and honest with each other. Secrets will do nothing but cause pain and distrust. Especially when you had a reason to distrust him. Trust is not a "given," it has to be earned.
2007-05-30 08:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by jel959801 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've taken the first step. Get a lawyer, file first. It's gonna be a long nasty road, but hang in there. You can ask he pay your attorney fees, maintenance, and child support. You don't need to "screw" him in court...just make sure your kids are taken care of. Hold your head up, you didn't make him fool around...and the "I'm a grown man and can do what I want on my free time" now has plenty of it. Good Luck!!
2007-05-30 08:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by lesmodee 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋