I have been married for 1 1/2 years to my wife. She is currently pregnant the baby is due in July and she has a daughter from a previous marriage that is 7. For about 1 year now i have been dealing with my wife's verbal abuse toward me and my family. She thinks we are all alcoholics cause we enjoy drinking on occasion. My wife calls my mother and father drunks and iresponsible along with me. SHe yells at the top of her lungs in front of her daughter and cusses like a salior, down grading me and my family. Last night i came home from work and got me a glass of wine. 5 minutes later she starts her yelling and slaps me good and hard across the face. Now all this happens in front of her daughter.
This is not the first time this has happened. Only 5 days ago she pulled the same thing in the car.
What do i do... i dont want to be around her and i am tired of walking on egg shells worried when she is going to go off.
Now i know this is not a good enviroment for her daughter.
2007-05-30 07:46:39 · 17 answers · asked by bigsaltydog11505 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I usually find that you have to lean into it.
Personally, the next time she slaps you, you slap her. That may shock her into a better attitude
2007-05-30 07:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry you are in this situation i know it might be hard but is it possible to tell your wife that it is hurting the child and if she wants to have a heated discussion then she should wait until the child is not in the room and can't hear the fight. personally i think you should do something to change the situation or get out even if you were an alcoholic it still wouldn't be ok for her to verbally abuse you. I'm not at all siding with your wife but from her point of view i can see that maybe she is jealous you can have a drink no and again while she is pregnant when i was pregnant i so wanted to have just one night where i could get a buzz and forget about being pregnant and having to be healthy for the baby. verbal and physical abuse is not good and you would be happier if you didn't have to deal with her on a regular basis.
2007-05-30 08:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by alina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your unborn child, call her doctor tell him or her that this is going on, do not tolerate physical abuse. You must make a report of it somewhere on paper. You were right not to hit her back, next time I would certainly call the police, that is the only thing that would stop her. Her volatile temper will eventually affect her daughter and the baby. If she does it again; leave her until she gets anger management. If she doesn't and you are worried about your baby in the future; having her past abuse documented on paper will be in you favor in court. It may not come to this, but you want to be sure. Also, please do not drink round her, I'm not saying a person can't have one glass of wine to relax, but do not have it around her, she may love you very much, but she simply cannot handle any drinking. Ask her if something from her past is bothering her.
2007-05-30 08:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Victims of abuse do not cause violence. The batterer is responsible for every act of abuse committed.
Domestic violence is a learned behavior. It is learned through: observation. experience. culture. family.
community (peer group, school, etc.).
God bless you, your a good person for staying with her this long through the pregnancy and all. But really you need to take control of the situation now before the baby is born and see a lawyer to see if you can get custody when the baby is born. And as for her daughter it is not a healthy environment for her either, try and seek help for her as well.....Cause mommy has some real issues...Good Luck.....
2007-05-30 08:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by dis is me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's not a good environment, she's an abuser and needs help. The fact that she's physically struck you is telling, because abuse tends to get worse and worse the longer it goes on. She needs help for her abuse and anger management issues, and you need help as well, since you are a victim of abuse. Please leave your wife, since she is being physically violent towards you, you don't have to file for divorce, but do not tolerate the physical abuse. If you're concerned for her daughter's safety, call your local child protective services department and you can file an anonymous report, that a social worker will investigate. Get counseling for you and your wife immediately.
2007-05-30 07:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship. I know there is a young child involved and an unborn child, but write all of these things down and try to get custody, she sounds out of control. You need to get her help before she hurts a child. I know you don't want to deal with the guilt of that, do something now. You deserve better, don't let her have control of your life, or you will never get it back. Take a break from her and leave.
2007-05-30 07:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to state this, emphatically and firmly,
" If you ever pull this kind of outburst again, you will be single again." " Unless you wish me to react in kind you will NOT ever raise a hand to me again, EVER." " You will stop this yelling and hitting, you will do it immediately, you will no longer make mention of any alcohol use until you learn to deal with your own anger." " You have lost all ability to comment on anyone else's behavior because you are out of control."
This is your First and LAST warning. The next time it happens you will be on the street with the clothes on your back. If you think I'm kidding, go ahead and try it."
Then be quiet and watch.
2007-05-30 08:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices. One is to go to marriage counseling and work this out. The other is to divorce the woman, sue for custody of your child due to her violence, and move on with your life. That said, if she hits you, call the cops on her. It is domestic violence regardless of who does it. Assault is assault. Every time you call the cops, even if they don't do anything, you have a notch in your favor should this come to court. Good luck! You are right that your daughter should not grow up in this environment.
2007-05-30 07:52:13 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave her and never look back. Go file for divorce and start the custody proceedings now for your unborn child.
You deserve better and so does your unborn child. Too bad her daughter is stuck in that mess. Perhaps you can contact one of her family members and get them involved to save her daughter.
Good Luck and stay strong
2007-05-30 08:23:29 · answer #9 · answered by Texas Happy Horn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse of any kind is not healthy. Maybe she needs to seek help and if she isnt willing then you need to walk out. Things wont change is she doesnt seek help for her rage and spite. How long can one person be unhappy? How long can one person pretend things are ok? How long can you make excuses to you and your family for her behavior? I wish you the best in the descion you make and I hope you find peace in your heart.
2007-05-30 08:03:11 · answer #10 · answered by divers_godeeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave her. Hitting is never the answer to anything, have a seriouse talk with her and if she doesnt care then leave, who need's a women who put's your family down and on top of that she is slapping you..... Huh Uh that dont fly.... get a restraining order out on her....
2007-05-30 07:51:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋