Why do mothers use children as a weapon??????

Question

What makes a woman think she can use her children as a weapon to hurt their father? I have a child from a previous relationship and no matter how much I hate his father, I have never used my child as a weapon. As long as the father was doing well in his life and was able to take care of my son, he had every chance to see him. Now on the flip side, i have two step-sons and their mother uses them in EVERY way possible to hurt my husband. They had problems and went their seperate ways, meaning, he left her. He didn't feel it was a good environment for the kids to hear the fighting or feel the tension between them. And it is all stupid stuff, like if they want their hair cut like dads, or an earring or basically anything they want to do to be like their dad, she degrades and says it is stupid or they don't want to look or act like him. (He pays his child support, has never been in trouble and is a very, very good father) She tries to take every shred of their father away from him

I don't understand how a woman can make their children feel so worthless for wanting to be like their father. Do they not realize that by trying to hurt the father and denying visitation and anything connected with him, that they are really just hurting the children and that someday the children will resent her for it??? The kids want to live with their dad so bad and I think that is where a lot of the problem lays. She knows the kids don't want to be with her.

Answer 1

some women think that if they lose the guy then they will lose the kids, i never did that, but i have had his dad do the same thing, its not just women honey

Answer 2

Because she is angry and jealous. She is bitter. In the state of WA, it is a law that divorcing parents are required to take a "For Kid's Sake" seminar, to show how to NOT to put the children in the middle of their sqabbles. Please see if there is something like that where you are.
I'm realy sorry that you all are having to go thru this with her. She needs to get some counsleing, to help her get over the divorce, and the bitterness she has. And yes, the parent's each go to this seminar separately-and the one I went to, there was a young lady who told of how her mom bad mouthed her dad to her when she was growing up, now she has a relationship with her dad, but not with her mom, because of that bad talking. The chldren are a part of BOTH parents, not just her. They have a lgal right to a relationship with both parents (unless they were abused by him)-but it doesn't sound like that at all.
Your husband can maybe take her to court about this matter, please check with an attorney first.
I wish you all the best. Take care.

Answer 3

I agreed with you, a lot of women do things like that but it only ends up hurting their children. However there's two sides to every story, yes he pays his child support and might be a good father, but there could be things that she saw in him when they were together that she did not like, causing her to behave this way. Their problems could have been more than what you know, and maybe she's simply being a woman scorn.

Answer 4

I agree with you whole heartly about using children to hurt the other parent. It only shows how childest they are in my book. Children feel bad enough when parents divorce and to use an innocent child is abuse. These are the children who end up in trouble because they become so confused about who side to take. I wish all parents could be as smart as you and know that a child isn;t someone to play games with.

Answer 5

I have never done this myself and i have seven children. three biological and four step. there are two two baby mommas . and they both use there children to get back at there childrens father. he hurt them badly in some way and they use the children to get back at him, to get things from him, and to get sex. It is wrong and the only one that suffers is me and the children in the long run. but mostly the children.

Mothers That Do This Are Trifling And Not Orthy Of Being A Mother. They Are Less Than Women. Less Than Maggots

Answer 6

I couldn't agree with you more. It's worse when both parents use the kids as weapons. I think they forget that children are living, breathing, human beings not possessions. I would have given my right arm for my kids to have a normal loving relationship with their father, he just could have cared less. His loss in the end.

Answer 7

awww, that is very sad. My husband and I seperated when i was pregnant and we remained "seperated/ divorcing" for a yr before we decided to reconsile....and yes i was pissed cause he left me but I never said bad things about him to my son even though my son was a baby.....actually my sons words were dadda and he only saw him for like 2 hrs every other week....and i would show him pics of his baby shower and our wedding pics...i wanted my son to know that he was concieved with love, at least from my part and that i loved him no matter what, and his dad loved him too.......fortunately we got back together soon after his first birthday. He will be 3 in July and he still climbs in my closet to grab my albums and looks at the pictures...

Answer 8

in the beginning you won't be in a position to have self belief each and every little thing you pay attention, bear in mind there is two aspects to each tale.My daughters father hasn't seen my daughter in 2 years and he tells me people how I had taken him to court docket for baby help and how i do no longer permit him see her.What he would not say is how his baby help is only $72 a week and he hasn't paid it because of the fact the order replaced into issued,or how he sees my sister each and every of the time and in no way bothers to ask approximately his daughter. to no longer point out he seems after his different little ones with out concern yet bear in ideas he nevertheless sleeps with their mom even although they are no longer mutually.Now are not getting me incorrect i know they seem to be some women individuals that are unwell interior the pinnacle and while they are doing stuff like that greater advantageous than possibly they are being spiteful.

Answer 9

I agree with you!
Unfortunately these women have been hurt from their ex-husbands and the only way to get back to them is by using their own flesh and blood. Its the only way they can control him also.

Answer 10

the same reason some fathers due....selfishness!!!