Babywise vs. Attachment Parenting: Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Here's my opinion:

1) the Babywise guy is as big a freak as Tom Cruise. More freakish, because he's actually dangerous. Steer clear.

2) Attachment to some degree is great. But there are people who preach it who are also falling into the freak category.

3) Beware of extremes, and of baby 'training' or raising methods that preach one-way-for-all. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it.

Answer 2

Get the Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting book. It is the least judgmental book I've ever read. The problem with babywise is that people think it works, but really it just teaches your baby that you won't meet his needs. When a baby cries it's because he needs something. Attachment parenting is about learning to read your baby's cues and responding to them appropriately. You will end up with a much happier baby who will be secure and feel safe.

The reason babywise is hard at the beginning is because your body isn't built to do it. Follow your instincts and do what works for you and know that you don't have to do babywise (although many people will tell you that you do).

Answer 3

Babywise is one of the most horrible things to have ever been written. The Academy of Pediatrics has listed it as unsafe and abusive for children. A logical and child-centered approach is the best way to help a child grow to be a good adult. There is a difference between gearing your parenting to your child and focusing your life on them. Attachment Parenting is highly recommended by pediatricians all over America and Europe. Parenting styles that respect the child's needs and the child's ability to self-regulate and learn are the best. All parents should find their own style, but stay away from Babywise, its awful.

Answer 4

I am not up on the new theories, but the most important thing to do for a newborn is to take care of his/her needs for the first three months.
The biggest problem with that is how to determine what and when. I believe it is wrong to turn parenting into a science. Each individual is unique, and you can't get around that.
The human baby is born completely helpless, and needs to be nurtured and cared for so it can grow and develop. At birth, most mammals are able to function to some degree. Even puppies and kittens are able to find the teat. But human babies cannot even do that and would starve if someone didn't feed them.

The fifties sprouted some pretty screwed up people because the mothers tried put them on four hour schedules.

Newborns cry for only a few reasons: hunger, discomfort, pain, tiredness and over stimulation. If the needs are not taken care of, the child will not grow properly.

I hope I don't seem too negative. I raised four beautiful independent, smart children, now in their thirties and I think I did a pretty good job.

Answer 5

I am all for Attachment Parenting. It promotes security and independents in the long run. I'm an attachment parenting mom of 3. My 6 and 4 year old have had no trouble with feeling secure with themselves, starting preschool or kindergarten. You are their mommy and they won't be little forever, let them be attached. Believe me it sets the precedents for confidants because they never have to feel so structurally rigid. Also, they don't have to feel that you are only there for them when you say it's OK. Attachment Parenting all the way. Check out Dr. Sears website on attachment parenting. askdr.sears.com. Good Luck.

Answer 6

It really depends on the Baby. I tried attachment parenting, but my son preferred his independence. He would go through daily spells where there was nothing I could do to settle him. Eventually I realized he was just tired and wanted to be left alone to fall sleep. He also preferred to wiggle on his play mat over any other activity. For a while it made me a little sad that my boy didn't want to cuddle, but now that he is 19 months he enjoys cuddle time after breakfast. And when he is sick. I am pregnant with my second and will try attachment parenting again. It does help to get to know the little guy better. Also, I am fortunate to have NO trouble putting him down for naps and bedtime.

Answer 7

Attachment parenting all the way in our home. We never NEVER let our children "cry it out". It only teaches them we will not meet their needs. Contrary to what users of the cry it oput will tell you, it does not teach them to cry for every little thing. It teaches them if you need somethign mom or dad will ALWAYS be there.

I also have a 12 yr old that I raised the other way and if I could go back I definately would! She missed out on SO much! She is no better off in the elast for havgin had to cry.

Answer 8

obviously you are familiar with both, so theres no reason to explain each.. As you know every baby is different, i think that a baby will decide how he wants to be parented.. My 2 month old doesnt want to be held before naptime, he wants to sit there in his crib, make winey noises with his eyes half closed.. ( Wakes up happy!).. but at nighttime wants to be loved and cuddles.. Sometimes wants to be in my bed, someitmes wants nothing to do with me. It's funny :) Sometimes wants to be on my shoulder, sometimes just wants to sit in his bouncer and watch me do stuff. Whichever method works for your baby, will be the one you choose. If you don't feel right letting your baby cry, don't. if you don't believe wearing your baby all day everyday in a sling will teach him independence, don't do it.. Anwyas good luck!

Answer 9

AP all the way...it's so much better for the child!

Answer 10

I'm all for babywise!! It's harder in the very early stages, but in the long run will make your life much easier, believe me :)