My husband and I went out to drink last night with some of his friends. After a few drinks we left to go to eat to a nearby place. Once there, I didn't want the food I ordered but his friends fruit plate started looking really yummy. So I ate out of his plate. When we got home, my hubby was pretty ticked off about what I did. He said eating off another man's plate was a slap on the face for him. What is up with that? Should I apologize? But about what?
2007-05-30 05:44:13 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should add, that I didn't actually ate directly from the plate. The guy gave me a little plate where he got the fruit because he wasn't going to eat it. And to answer if I would get upset if my husband ate off my hot girlfriends plates, honestly I really wouldn't mind it.
2007-05-30 05:56:53 · update #1
Yeah I would take that to be a very "flirty" behavior... Eating off the eachother's plates is the sort of activity men and women in relationships engage in, or if it was just you and the male friend there it'd be fine. It's not as though you should prefer what your Husband was having, it's just that it's odd that you would have this change of heart and feel like friskily eating the fruit. Because what if you liked what you ordered? Then the behavior would seem to be a conscious CHOICE and not the involuntary thing you see it as. Oh and the drinking thing could mean that people expect their peers are acting in a more honest fashion. It depends on if it was twice or just once. One sneaky bite is fine but two means the urge to share and discover what someone ELSE has was more of a powerful impulse than being "proper".
But to answer your question: NO you should not apologize. You can express regret that you didn't see the big picture, but you really haven't done anything worth apologizing to him for. You may have learned a lesson about his sensitivty though. And a lesson about what whats appropriate at the table. So also express your newfound acceptance of this custom between men and women. Don't mock him and his feelings as you express this, it will speak volumes of your commitment and I think that really, he'd be more happy with this answer than a hollow sounding "i'm sorry"
2007-05-30 05:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well personally, he may be making it a bigger deal than it really is...but you love your husband right??
Whether he's making a big deal of it or not...you hurt his feelings...and you should apologize.
You may also tell him that you werent after the man...you were after the fruit and you didn't know that that was so offensive to him
Although...Just for the record...In my opinion, it was innappropriate and I understand where he's coming from,
Imagine if your hubby ate off some hot chick's plate, while you were sitting there...it's stupid...but there is something suggestive in there, and you'd be pissed too.
Say you're sorry, say you didn't know, say you just wanted some fruit, and next time...call the waitress over and order your own food, take your other food home with you.
2007-05-30 05:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Firstly it was bad Manners to pick and snack from another persons plate in a public place.
That sort of thing spells out an intimacy with the person that is allowing you to do so because of some ( attraction)
How would you feel if the situation was reversed and HE left his ordered meal to share the plate of another Woman?
You should apologize for being so insensitive.
2007-05-30 05:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You apologize for eating off another mans plate. That is something a husband/wife or BF/GF do. Not a wife and her husbands friends. That was disrespectful to your husband and it may have made the friend uncomfortable as well. Next time if you want what another man has order an extra one for yourself
2007-05-30 05:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he feels like eating off another man's plate is a personal thing - too personal to do with other guys. Right or wrong, odd or 'normal' - he was uncomfortable with it. You should talk with him about it to better understand why it bothered him as much as it did - get a more thorough reason than "it's a slap in the face." Next, apologize - you weren't aware that would upset him as it did. Then avoid doing it in the future.
2007-05-30 05:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by Jeremy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes, maybe taking some fruit from the mans plate and putting it on your own would have been better. Eating from his plate was somewhat personal. Turn the situation around wouldn't it tick you off if he were eating from your girlfriends plate? He was embarrassed in front of his friend.
2007-05-30 05:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's right. Because eating from another's plate is a really intimate act (besides being rude) - think of those old movies where a couple feeds one another! You doing this was really disrespectful - you should have ordered your own fruit plate once you realized that's what you wanted. You really hurt your husband, here, and it's sad that you didn't understand when he told you...
2007-05-30 05:50:36 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's an ego thing... You really shouldn't have ate off his friends plate if your husband got you a plate yourself. If you are out with all his guy friends and you almost make it a point your paying attention to his friends more than him. You should be happy that he is bringing you along, it's like putting you on a pedastal in front of his friends... Apologize, lay with him, ask him what's going on with him and why he got upset... Tell him he's the only real thing you love and you want to be with him and make him happy... Kiss his butt, but only for a little... If you do it too much.. and he's still mean, let him be mad
2007-05-30 05:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by Cieeeee <3 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I see the problem. I don't agree, but from a man's view, having your wife or girl friend eat off another man's plate can be seen as being flirtatious on your part. The danger is, you never know what people think about your behavior, inocent or not, his peers at th table may have thought you were giving his friend messages. We think differently.
2007-05-30 06:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people think eating off another person's plate is somewhat intimate. It could also imply that you like what his friend provides better than what your husband provides (which could be interpreted financially, romantically, or even sexually).
You should apologize for upsetting your husband, and explain to him that you didn't mean to disrespect him, and you would never knowingly hurt his feelings - for you, eating off another person's plate is nothing intimate or personal, so it didn't occur to you that it would seem so to anyone else.
Once you apologize, he needs to relax and get over it - if he holds a grudge about it, that's just petty.
2007-05-30 05:50:24 · answer #10 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋