My fiance wants to join the military?...?

Question

He isn't sure which branch to join though. He'd do well with coast guard especially, but he seems to be favoring the Army, due to it's more advanced training. I'm opposed to the Army, only because of our situation. We have two children, a two year old and a three month old. I stay home with them and am very comfortable and thankful for this. We really have a decent set up. I plan to go to college and earn a degree in el-ed. However, I have a heart problem, one that is getting worse. I am only 20 years old, and my Mother passed just last year from heart failure. She was only 39. I guess I'm scared of what would happen if my health continues to get worse and my fiance is off serving the military. I have appointments late in this month to try and figure out what course of action is needed to help my heart. We're waiting and thinking of what to do. Are you a family person in the Military? How have things changed for you and your family? Any regrets? Please just give insight. Thanks!

Answer 1

i was a navy wife. life wasnt too bad for us i also have a son and a heart problem my husband just did a tour the end of last year. if your condition is really bad they will tell him to move you in with family who can assist you while he is gone. mine wasnt that bad but it was suggested. i did just fine on my own talk to your doctors and get paperwork for him to take with him to the recruiters and coast guard isnt military its the department of transportation not defense

Answer 2

The military isn't for everyone I will tell you that. I have a 2 year old and one child due in Aug. My husband joined the Army straight out of highschool. We got married after he completed basic and ait. We have been married 4 years. I've stayed at home the entire time. As far as the benefits of the Army. The pay isn't as good as you could get out of the army. The medical benefits are WAY better than you could get in the civilian world. I haven't had to pay for any medical care or medicine since we got married. We both have life insurance.
My husband has been deployed for a year. If any major problem were to happen with you he would be able to return. Soldiers have to have a family plan which is in place to say who will take care of family in case something does happen. There is also the Family Readiness Group which helps the family with difficulties during deployment.
A lot of factors depend on the job he wants to get. Every job and unit is different.
I don't have any regrets. Even though he was deployed I had my son to keep me busy. There is plenty to do on post for the kids. I wouldn't change anything. The deployment helped us see how much we love and care for each other. It just made us appreciate our family even more.

Answer 3

I feel for you 100%. I am currently 19 years old and married with a baby on the way. My husband is in the military and this is his second year in. There are good and bads with every situation especially this one.

These are just a few examples from my experiece

Good
* Good Steady Pay
* Full HealthCare
* Free Housing
* Lots of New Friends
* Get to Travel

Bad
* Husband Can Be Deployed At Anytime
* Having to uproot your family without notice.
* The constant worry of whether or not they will be safe.

Also keep in mind that once your husband joins the military you won't have any contact with him until he finished basic training. You also will have no access to any of the benefits. And even though basic training is so many weeks there is also tech school afterwards. Which can last a long amount of time as well.

*Feel free to contact me whenever. Yahoo [e-mail].

Answer 4

I am an Army wife - your question is a loaded one. First off, if he joins the Army there are no benifits for you unless you get married. With that said, let me tell you what kind of benifits there are. The health care is GREAT! They will take care of you. Moving around a lot is something you get used to - but they pack you boxes and move you - just have a cleaned an orgainized house before they come. There are schools on base that are good. There are daycare programs on base that are good as well. There are a ton of family services. There are scholarship programs for mom's in the military that move around a lot and are trying to get degrees. When you live on base there is a huge support system with the FRG. Yes our family has changed, we love it. Yes our house is a cookie cutter house - but it is big enough, we have food to eat - you get a substance allowance and that is based on your family size. You get a housing allowance base on area that you live and rank (if you live on base they just use you housing allowance) then you have pay on top of that. If you are separated due to deployment, or training there is a separation allowance. If you live off of base there is a good chance you can find housing that is less than you housing allowance - then you can pocket the rest. There are great life insurance packages that you can get really cheap. There are so many great benifits - talk to a recruiter about the family situation. If you can live with a family member while he is gone then you don't have to spend your housing allowance and then that is more money for you. There are bonuses that are great. The military life is one that I love because I find a lot of security in it. not everyone is cut out to be a military wife. it can be hard with your husband gone. But today they have e-mail privilages when they are deployed which helps a ton - you can e-mail everyday. If you have a church be active with them - they can help as well - mine does (I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) Yes when you are being moved around, you can be separated from family - that is the thing that we like the least. But he will get training that he can get no where else and it will give him greater oppertunities later down the road. Good luck with everything - hope that this helped

Answer 5

My husband is in the Air Force. I enjoying being a military wife. We were just stationed from Texas to Japan and I am 7 months pregnant with our first child. The only problem that ever gets to me is that I have a degree and here the jobs for wives with degrees are scarce. Also, above I read someone saying stuff about scholarships. I am also in grad school and scholarships work the same way for military as they do civilians. They are based on pay grade, so in my case I do not qualify for any. We have footed the bill for my education, but his was free. Most likely if your husband is just joining you will qualify for these scholarships and grants. Oversease they do have Tuition Assistance for spouses, but it varies by branches on the guidlines and funding. If you are going to school for Elementary Ed, they have the spouses to teachers program where they pay for your certification. Which is a great plus. They do provide daycare, if you are new in the military and have not built up rank, you will be able to put your children in it for fairly cheap. It evens out as your husband makes rank. The medical benefits are great, you do not have to pay for anything. Just in some stateside places you will get frustrated with trying to get an appointment. My husband and I bought our first house when I was just 20 and he was 23, thanks to the military. Our living allowance was more than we paid in mortgage and utilities and then this year we sold it for $22,000 over what we paid for it just two years ago. The pay is not bad, again it depends on rank. I am fortunate that my husband is able to provide for me and I will be staying home with the baby. He is in a field that deploys often, but you get used to it and know that it is always looming. I handle mostly everything, so that if he gets deployed I will not be left wondering what to do. When he deploys the money is good. I was usually able to have him contact me once a week during his last deployment. If your husband has like an office job or something, I have heard of them being able to contact you more often. Lastly, the military lifestyle is not for everyone. You have to be VERY independent as a wife. You can not depend on them for too much. If he decides to enlist it will not be the end of the world.

Answer 6

My husband is a former active duty Marine, now a Marine reservist. He's done two tours in Iraq already. We have a set of 18 month old twins, and I'm expecting our third in August. The military can be tough, but also rewarding. There is a lot of support in the military family. We are fairly close knit. You wouldn't be on your own if he left. You'd have medical care and should a problem arise, they would make sure he's home. They also have special programs for members with family members that have special medical needs. That program essentially takes everything into account and dictates specifics about duty stations, housing, etc. The family member is evaluated and given a status (exceptional family member program is what it was called).
You must be careful how you tread on this subject. If he's wanting to join, he may see it as doing something good for his country. See it as a sense of duty and honor. If you say that you don't support him and you're angry with him, you could do irreperable harm to your relationship. A good relationship is about supporting one another and their goals in life. I would be more than happy to talk to you further and give you the info I have or put you in contact with people would could help you further.
I love the military life. I wouldn't change it for anything. I am veyr proud of my husband and his contributions to his country. I am willing to sacrifice a little time with my hubby for the security and freedom of our country (and the protection of those in need). I wish you the best. Feel free to email me.

Answer 7

Hello
My husband is in the army adn he is doing his second tour right now. He is coming back home soon and we moving into new location..again.
Its hard to be in the relationship with the army..cause its not only you and your bf..its liek gettign whoel new family.
In order for you to recive any tipe of benifits from the army you guys have to be married. Being fiancee doesnt mean anything for the army.
Army has disadvantages of missing the person you love but also when then not around you getting a lot of support from other wives, so odnt worry you wont be alone
Do i regret being wit the slodier..not for a second..you love a person not his job, but remmebr you go for it stick by your decisions, cause he will trust you while leaving, make sure you can hold to promises given to him
Good LUck,

Answer 8

oh nooo, well im only 17 and my fiance is 21 and is is a marine, and he just left to iraq for one whole entire year, its only been two weeks that he has been gone and i cant take it no more, its super hard when you wish that you could just have him in you r arms and my fiance, wishes sometimes he didnt join, plus have you been seeing the news and stuff, marines dying and im sure army to, but marines are more hard working and stuff, but still, i would say no, please, tell your fiance to stay with you, why take your love away when you have it right there, you only have one life so why not stay with your love, and not risk dying...
ever want to talk, my msn is [e-mail]
(with the underscore) and my myspace is [e-mail] (withOUT the underscore)

take care, my names serina

Answer 9

I think that joining the military is a bad idea at this time. You say right now, you are able to stay home with the kids. Isn't that reason enough to stay as is?

Answer 10

You posted this in the wrong category, this is about pregnancy questions. Try reposting in the military section.

Sorry you're going through this, good luck.