I was with my ex for 6 years, lived together 4 of those, and married about 9 months of those, no kids. Its been a year since the Divorce, but she was the one who cheated and left and I still miss and love her, is that normal? How long will it take to get past it, I date alot, but it doesn't help....
2007-05-30 05:39:35 · 15 answers · asked by Mfred 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You'll never get over it. The one thing that we can't control is our emotions. We can't control who we love or how we feel about things. You'll never get past it. God screwed us on this one.
2007-05-30 05:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by gudlistnr 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My ex and I divorced after 15 years of marriage. We had 4 kids together, but he was verbally, and finally physically abusive. I met another man about 6 months after my divorce, and after 5 years, we married. Even though my ex was abusive, I still missed him for a long time, even after I met my present husband who is wonderful. There is no time frame for how long we miss someone. You will get past it, but the more you think about her, the longer it is going to take you to get past it. You need to focus on something else. Got to get your mind off it, it isn't going to help to think about it all the time.
2007-05-30 05:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by che_rae_gra53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think its normal, it is hard to get over someone. You will get over it!! It may take time,but it will pass. You will find someone else to love and then she won't matter. In the mean time just pray about it and do things that keep you busy and try to take you mind off of her. I am going through a similar situation and some days I feel like crying. Just hang in there and everything will be okay.
Good Luck
2007-05-30 05:46:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can give your heart, but you cant take it back.
If you truly loved her, then you will never stop loving or missing her. It will never go all the way away.. though it will become less sharp with time.
Shrinks (psychologists) say that it takes 6 months for every year you were together to get through this... so you could be looking at a minimum of 3 years before you start making serious heart headway.
2007-05-30 05:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sure it's normal. You suffered a devastating loss. It's just not about the infidelity...it's also about betrayal. Try going to therapy that might help. Also...look into a 12 Step Group of some kind or a support group for ppl who are newly divorced. Your local community center/social services agency should be able to point you in that direction. Some of the bigger therapeutic agencies offer groups like that in their offices. I think by talking about it and being around ppl who have gone through what you went through will be very helpful. You're still in the stages of grieving. Ask yourself this....why aren't you angry? This woman lied to you....imploded your life....threw out your marriage vows like yesterdays dish water...destroyed your dreams....betrayed your trust. I didn't go through therapy when I divorced my husband 26 years ago due to infidelity. I "mourned" him (like you are doing) for 6 years. And when I got around to the anger...well...I pretty much stayed there for almost 10 years. What should of taken me 3-5 years to deal with took me 16. And, no, I never was able to trust anyone on that level again. So, do yourself a favor, go see someone who specializes in therapy and divorce (a family therapist) and start the healing process.
2007-05-30 05:51:10 · answer #5 · answered by mhchicetawn 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on, buddy. She screwed you over. You deserve better than that. Sometimes we like to hope. In this situation, you don't need to hope that you two will get back together. You can do better. The type of love that the two of you shared can never be the same with anyone else that comes along, but in time you'll find a better love that you can never imagine.
2007-05-30 05:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by 0000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal. I think it takes everyone time to adjust and even more if you really loved her. I would say it takes at least 2 years to feel really normal and okay with out her.
Work on being happy for your self and the girl of your dreams will come once you get there.
2007-05-30 05:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's no normal for a woman who openly cheated and left you.
My counsel: Close totally your heart and your mind to her;the world is very big,another love is waiting for you;if you are loyal and honest;you will find it;take your time.You can date a lot,as you say,but,not to forget someone else,but for trying to know a new person and may be, a new love.
2007-05-30 05:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know you cared greatly for her, but if the feelings aren't mutual, it wasn't ment to be. Plus, you are better than her, she cheated on you and you deserve better than that. It will hurt alot, but you will find your soul mate and when that happens, you won't even think about her anymore. You will be too busy enjoying that special someone who was ment for you. I hope for the best for you. Don't give up hope.
2007-05-30 05:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by Seeks the Answers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can I tell you a secret my husband left me and I am married again.... 3 years later and I still miss my x ... but I am so glad it is over... is that crazy.... shhhhh dont tell...... sad I know...but I feel a little better this is the first time told anyone without telling ....
2007-05-30 06:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋