Am I a lesbian?

Question

I have a phobia of men and also I do find certain women attractive. When I get hugged by another woman I really like it.
Or if they touch me I feel.......... I can't describe it, it's just a good feeling. When I say touched I don't mean sexually by the way.
nice answers only please, I'm really confussed about all this and it does frighten me.
Thanks

Answer 1

Your phobia of men may stem from an unpleasant experience you may have had with one. Perhaps an abuse or abandonment issue? This may also be the reason you like being hugged by another woman. Perhaps you simply feel safer around women. Perhaps you mother has always been your primary care taker the one that protected you. You feelings may stem from this protective feeling. You should really examine your feelings more closely. If it isn't sexual arousal I would say you are not a lesbian, but you may have other issues you may need to deal with. Professional help may help. I don't think your answer lies in this forum.

Answer 2

Sorry, you need to elaborate.

How old are you?

What do you mean by a phobia?

If you are a teenager, then a lot of teens go through a phase where they find others of the same sex attractive and have doubts about their sexuality. It's probably just sexual experimentation.

You may find you fancy men in the future, perhaps you feel a little unsure of yourself and you simply feel more safe with females.

You'll know in time. Please don't worry about it. You may find out you're straight with time. Or bi.

Apparently "sexperts" reckon we are all capable of being attracted to both sexes, so when you're older, even if you do decide you want a relationship with men, you may want to experiment with women. Or you could just keep it as a harmless fantasy.

Surveys reckon most women have fantasies about sexual encounters with other women at some point, but it does'nt mean they act upon them.

I'd recommend Image Googling Wentworth Miller, that will sort you out. Sorry, that was a bit lame!!

Sorry my answer is so long.

Anyway, i hope this helped and good luck. You can email me from my profile page if you like :)

Answer 3

it's possible that you are a lesbian.. or there is another possibility:

Being "touched" physically ( not sexually) does give off good feelings.. hugs and such release lots of endorphins (pleasure chemicals) and give us that feeling of well being, provided that we are in a comfortable position and with someone we like, and aren't threatened in any way.

phobias tend to be learned reactions, from experiences we've had whilst young, perhaps it's that you like this physical sensation, but you've only experienced it with a woman as you have never been able to try with a guy because of this phobia?

in which case, you could be heterosexual, or bi sexual, or lesbian, it's not possible to tell as there isn't enough detail/evidence to draw up an accurate answer for you, sorry.

either way, as many people here will say / have said, being bisexual, or lesbian isn nothing to be ashamed of, or frightened of, take things easy and relax.

Answer 4

Is there a reason that you have a phobia of men? All men are not the same. Regardless of what some people think, all good men are not gay or taken. As far as woman go, trust your heart. If your heart tells you that you enjoy being with woman, follow it...... Don't be frightened, I understand that you are confused. Maybe you can speak with someone you trust.

Answer 5

Shadow it is quite normal for you to prefer female hugs. It depends on your age really and you don't say. Don't by the way...I don't want to know incase you get plagued by freaks!!

Anyway. I went through phases while growing up of being more attracted to females than males. I even experimented a little by kissing other girls. I was curious and it felt normal because I really loved my girlfriends...so it seemed the right thing to do. There was nothing more sexual than that.

As I got older around 14 I started to realise I did find a couple of boys 'cute' and let them kiss me. I was not ready for anything else though. Eventually I grew out of the feelings for other girls.

It is probably just because females don't pose as much of a threat to you at the moment. They aren't likely to get you pregnant and as females we get taught to hold hands with each other, to brush each others hair, to care for each other as this is how we practice being mothers.

If you do turn out to be a lesbian don't worry. It will be what you are meant to be. I have quite a few lesbian friends now I am married and they are normal well adjusted loving and caring people!

Answer 6

Lesbians are not women with a phobia of men, dear. Gay women, like myself are just women who are attracted to women. I think if you have a real phobia of men, you should seek counceling, especially if you have this phobia because of being abused or mistreated by a man. There are many very brilliant, kind, wonderful men that bless our planet. Maybe you just feel safer when you are in the company of women- that doesn't mean you are gay.

Answer 7

dont be afraid of what your body and your feelings are telling you. it would help if i knew what your phobia with men was about but all i can tell you is dont try to stereotype your feelings into being a lesbian. you may just need the guidance of a woman in your life or you may just be sexually frustrated and seeking comfort where you are less threatened. i can tell though, confide in a close friend, and talk about it, keeping it in just makes the feelings more intense.

Answer 8

Could you maybe talk to someone about the men who hurt you in your life?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to a member of the same sex. And if you want to spend your time more around women, so be it, if they make you feel more comfortable.

Answer 9

maybe all the men u no haven't been nice so then u judge all men in the same category and girl feel more comfortable 2 b around coz we r more sensitive and share similar out looks on things try dating a man then dating a girl as u will never no wot u want as they say u never no until u try

Answer 10

why do you have a phobia of men in the first place? if you feel you are definitely much more comfortable with women, but yet have never been in a relationship with a woman before, then you might just be bi-curious...