My husband?

Question

now i have a big problem i fought with my husband ... his problem that he over anger and sometimes hits me .... WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO CHANGE HIM....I HAVE TWO KIDS ........ PLZ HELP ME

Answer 1

YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM!!

So many women go into relationships thinking they can change some nasty habits of their husbands. They can't.

You need to get out of the house with the kids for your safety. File a protection order and get away.

He hit you; who's to say he won't his your kids?

Answer 2

This must be very hard for you, but think how hard it is on your children. It was inevitably my children that made me leave my ex. He was an abusive cop and I thought I had no way out. I was silly to think that he was only going to hit me. When he started hitting them I planned our escape. You cannot change your husband. He has to chose to get help and WANT that help. Also get yourself and your children help. From this you will become stronger. People who have never been abused do not know how hard it is to leave the situation behind. Just know that if you chose to stay things can get worse if he doesn't get help. If you want to leave there are places out there that can help you to be safe. I wish you the best of luck and pray that God will see you and your children through this.

Answer 3

You can't change him. You can only change yourself. When you are ready for help, here is what you need to know.

A marriage is abusive if one of the partners physically or emotionally harms the other. If you've made the decision to leave an abusive marriage, you must formulate a plan to escape safely. Follow these steps.
Instructions
Difficulty: Challenging
Steps

Step One
Learn the location of your nearest crisis center. For a list of domestic violence crisis centers, visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Web site (see Resources below), or call (800) 799-SAFE.

Step Two
Gradually assert your independence. Discover your own interests and talents. Join a community class to learn floral arranging, interior design, scrapbooking or another hobby. Take a course in accounting or real estate, or some other skill that can give you financial independence. Attending classes is also a good way to make friendships outside of your relationship.

Step Three
Understand your problem at home. It's common for victims of domestic violence to blame themselves. The more you learn about domestic violence, through books and Web sites, the more you will realize your situation is not your fault. You'll also learn to recognize the warning signs of domestic violence and how to protect yourself from an abuser.

Step Four
Forge stable, sincere friendships with people you can trust. You'll need solid support as you prepare to leave an abusive marriage, and your new friends may be able to provide emotional and financial support temporarily.

Step Five
Realize you can't stay in an abusive marriage, no matter how many promises your partner makes. You must prepare to leave, before the violence escalates into a potentially life-threatening situation.

Step Six
Contact a family law attorney to press charges or to obtain a restraining order against your abuser. This may seem like a dramatic step, but it is necessary to preserve your physical and emotional health, and, possibly, your life.
Overall Tips & Warnings

* Before you leave, have all the evidence you need to take your abuser to court, including medical records, police reports and photographs of injuries.
* You have the right to receive complete restitution from your abuser in a timely manner, according to federal law.
* The psychological effects of spousal abuse can be profound and may include a deep sense of betrayal, feelings of worthlessness and a firm belief that there is no viable existence outside of an abusive marriage. It's vital that you seek help from a licensed therapist who has training in the psychology of domestic violence so you can come to terms with your ordeal and start the healing process.

Resources

* Get a list of crisis centers in your area at the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, or call (800) 799-SAFE.

Overall Things You'll Need

* Support system
* Transportation

Answer 4

My ex husband abused and hit me, and I thought I could make him change, but he never did. You can't change your husband. He has to want to change himself. One day he beat me up so bad that I packed up all of my stuff and left him and never looked back. My daughter was only 6 months old then, and that was 16 years ago. I sought counseling, and got so much stronger after I left him. It was the best thing that I ever did. The best thing for you is to move on. You can't stay with him for sake of the kids because it does affect the kids too. It's not a healthy environment for any of you. Please take my advice and leave him. He will never change.

Answer 5

You can't change him and your job is to give your kids a secure peaceful enviorment to live in. You need to focus on your kids and putting them somewhere safe. The only thing you can do for your husband is to leave until he gets help. Don't let him think you are so helpless and pathetic that you are going to put up with physical abuse. Women are strong and there are so many support systems out there for this kind of situation.

Answer 6

This use to happen to me, Honey you need to get help and you need to get help now. If he sometimes hit you, it will more than likely lead to something worse and more painful. I am not telling you that you have to leave your husband who you love, and have children by but he needs help. My husband....yes current husband use to slap me around a little bit, then one day it went to the extreme and he put me in some serious pain. I left, called the police he did some jail time and both of us say that was the best thing that ever happened to us. It has been six years since his jail time and has not laid a finger on me since.
You see most everyone has the anger in them to hit someone else, it sounds like your husband just needs to learn to control his anger a little bit more than some of us. I don't know what to suggest you to do, but do something and do it quick. If you truely love him you will get him help.
If you need any more advice on this topic please contact me.

Answer 7

If he is not willing to go to counsling immediatly, get out.If you can't afford it, try going to a church and speaking with the pastor, they give free counsel.He's done it more than once, it will happen again, there is no excuse.If he refuses counsil, make him get out, you may need the police involved.Otherwise you will be raising abusers/ or victims, your kids can not be subjected to that.Don't be a wimp, stand up for your rights and the rights of your children.If he is a real man,he will see how seriuos the situation is, and respect you for your backbone( that may come in time).

Answer 8

I am sorry that you are in this situation. Have you asked him to seek counseling when he is not in an agitated state? If he doesn't, and doesn't change, you must leave him with your children. You can go to a safe place and file for divorce. Abuse only gets worse, not better and your children will be traumatized for a very long time, if not forever, if you do not stand up for yourself and them. You can do it. I hope you have someone you can trust. It is never okay to hit someone.

Answer 9

You can't change an abusive husband. Well, I imagine you could if you scrambled his brains with an iron skillet to the back of the head, but the best bet is to get out of the relationship.

Answer 10

Get help. And I mean professional help. You have you have not only yourself to think of, but two kids as well. They are your first concern. If he hits you he does or will hit your children as well. Don't come on here looking for answers to this. We are not professionals. We're just a bunch of idiots sitting in front of our computers thinking we know something. In your case we know nothing!!!!
Here locally is a group called Sheltering Wings Center For Women. Their number is 317-745-1496. If you contact these people they can direct you to someone who can help you in your area.