Am I crazy for still wearing my wedding ring ?

Question

I have been seperated for 9 months now and I continue to honor my marriage by not sleeping with anyone or even having an emotional relationship. At the same time my soon to be ex left me pregnant and with a 7 mnth old baby to spark a relationship with another woman. He does not see our first child and was not there at all thru my entire second pregnancy. He is even unwilling to pay child support because it's "too much" for him. With so many horrible things he has done to me and tomy children (not being a full time father to his own children but being one to another person's child) I still honor my marriage. It is not because I respect him, but more so the word of God. Adultery is a serious offense in the eyes of God and I know he will punish those who commit adultery. His word says no sin goes unpunished. I have met someone very special to me. He came into my life while I was in my third trimester.I knew he wanted something more yet he NEVER mentioned us as a couple until

recently. I am a mother of three. He get along great with my first daughter, he adores my now 17 mnth old and is crazy about my newborn. I ask is he real? How can he want me knowing I breatfeed? He is so fine and could have anyone he wants, so why me? He knows my faith in God is real but he asked me why do I still wear my ring? I answered, my ring symbolizes my marriage and although my husband left me and my children in the worst way imaginable, I honor the vows I took before God and until my divorce is final, I will conduct myself as a wife, no sex, no kissing, no flirting, etc. He respects my decision and has even met me at chruch to study the word of God. If anyone believes in God, must beleive in his words which says both parties commiting adulery will no go without punishment. Even if my husband lied to this girl, begged her, and even wined and dined her. Knowing that a man is married and emblishing in a relationship with him has caused her to suffer as well.

I fear missing my blessings if I do something wrong. If he was meant for me then he will continue waiting as he has. What would you do? Please only reply if you are spiritually inclined. Oh I forgot to mentioned my husband let our home foreclouse and purchased another one soon after for him and this girl. With all this, I honor my vows to God.

im sorry, i forgot to mention i did file for divorce in November when he refused to pay child support and threatened to take me off his health insurance while I needed prenatal care. Our divorce should be final in Sept/Oct.

child support is an order for my 17mnth old since jan. We are go back soon to establish for our newborn. Which we falls to realize no matter how much he refuses, he will have to pay it including back support. To Steve J, who wrote the bible saying the world is flat? What scripture? Regardless if the bible was written 1000 yrs ago or yesterday, His words will come to past. I'll pray for you. PLEASE, let me make this clear, I am not writing this because I want my "husband" (i use the word loosely)back, but to make sure I am doing the right thing in the eyes of GOD. I do not want to miss my blessings because I was impatient.

Answer 1

You can get divorced biblically. He committed adultery. The Bible says to let the unbeliever go(him) because you are no longer bound to him. He put you away. The Bible says anyone that's put away for reasons OTHER THAN FORNICATION OR ADULTERYcommits adultery. So go for it. You are no longer bound to him, so end it all. He's a bum. Why would you want to be unequally yoked to him? Light and dark don't mix.

Answer 2

Ok no your not wrong. If that is what you believe then continue to wear that ring. If your friend is serious about you then he will wait and if he does not wait then he was not meant for you. As far as your husband goes have that baby and when you go to court ask for child support. Also make sure you inform the judge that your husband says he will not pay child support this way they will garnish his wages and you will get the money without having to fight with him about it. The only time you can make changes to your insurance is if you get a divorce or get married or have children so your husband should not be able to take you off his insurance anyways. Or at least that is how my insurance works. You should check into it. Another thing is if he sold the house then you are entitled to half of that money. Even if he is with some other little chickey he will be the one that has to answer to that in the end. Although he is really not involved with your children do not bad mouth him let them learn on their own how their father is. Who cares if child support is too much for him. I'm sure you didnt climb on top of your self and get pregnant. I would defitnatly see about having his WAGES GARNISHED. I know I've said that before but it does work and anytime he quits a job his SS# will be inthe system so when he does get another job they will start taking the child support out of his checks after about 6 weeks also you should know how much money he makes see if youcan't find a pay stub or something to prove howmuch he makes so that the judge can fairly determine the amount of support you should receive. And since you will not be able to work right away ask for spousal support. I hope all of this works out for you in the end especially with your new friend I'llpray that this is the one for you and he will continue to wait. GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

The choice is solely yours alone. Technically you are still married even if you are separated, so it is not strange that you are still wearing your ring. it is your right.

I commend you for honoring your marriage - just also know that adultery in most faiths is a move to dissolution and one of the few legitimate reasons for divorce.

By the way, this soon to be ex husband WILL pay child support. It is his child and any court would uphold it.

Just stay good friends with this new guy. You are right that you are not free to be in a relationship other than friendship with him until your marriage is dissolved.

I know things are bad, but I admire you for being upstanding. So many people are ready to jump in bed with someone the minute they seperate without getting much needed closure. And not getting it hurts everyone involved esp. when kids are involved.

Answer 4

A material possession does not prove that you honor your commitment. Take off the ring and move on. In your heart, you know you have been faithful to your marriage and your vows. God knows the same. You have carried your cross, now move on and seek the happiness you not only deserve, but which will make you a better mother and family. Congrats to you for standing behind your commitment, but set yourself free from the chains you bind yourself with. And file with the Attorney General for child support....your ex should have thought about what was too much before he got greedy!

Answer 5

If it helps you deal with the situation then by all means wear it. Now Id file for divorce since it sounds like this is what he wants and not you and sue him for everything youre legally entitled to. You will get cutody and child support whether he likes it or not and possible spousal support too. Once the Judge orders child support he wont have a choice to pay it if he wants to stay out of jail. Them move on with whoever you want. The time has definitely come for you to move on here and possibly wear another ring that has more meaning to it and a husband who is willing to stand behind it. Good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like that ring would make a payment on the house, or for diapers or whatever! Ditch the guy, ditch the ring, ditch this marriage...your soon-to-be ex already has. God won't hold it against you, you didn't leave. Your new guy sounds like a gem - don't mess it up by hanging onto a past that should be put to rest. God is also forgiving, so if you feel you are somehow in the wrong, ask for forgiveness (and guidance) and move on!

Answer 7

Maybe not crazy for wearing the ring, but it's probably unhealthy for you to do so. He left; the marriage is over. Continuing to wear it -- at some level -- allows you to remain in denial about that fact.

If you're worried about sinning, divorce is acceptable in the case of adultery (according to the Bible). Get the divorce processed and official, and move on with someone who will love and respect you.

Answer 8

Well so sex until you are divorced and then remarried. But as long as u are legally married u should only b friends with this man. AFter u r divorced then u can pursue more. The Bible is clear about divorce but it's not ur doing it's ur husbands so u've done nothing wrong. Keep ur chin up. God loves u!

Answer 9

Lady, put down the bible and contact you local domestic relations court. This guy is obligated by LAW to pay child support.

Stop wasting your life trying to do things based on a book written 1000s of years ago by people who thought the world was flat!

Get a lawyer, divorce this POS, and try to find some happiness in THIS life!

Good luck

Answer 10

sweetie, its awesome you want to honor your marriage but hes an adulterer and after you guys get a divorce you can begin to see other people, Gods not going to punish you for your ex husbands mistakes, and it sounds like your kids are better off without him, if you need help financially and he will not pay child support take him to court and make him pay. Good Luck!