How do you handle a know-it-all?

Question

My friend will argue that black is white. Even when there's no debate, she'll jump on the slightest thing you say and present her opinion as fact while trying to refute whatever anyone else says. She'll argue with known facts just because she believes differently - she's always right and everyone else on the planet is completely ignorant including experts in their own field.

She speaks with such a definite tone that if anyone she's decided to argue with is quite timid, they don't stand a chance of their opinions/facts being given due consideration. She wipes the floor with them!

How can you respond to such a person? I've stupidly given her some information on a personal issue I incorrectly assumed wouldn't be up for debate but unfortunately for me, it is! I'm in no position to tell her to butt out considering I initiated this conversation. Does anyone have suggestions of what I can say to her when I am following my doctors orders rather than what she thinks I ought to do.

Answer 1

Sweetie, just because you initiated the conversation doesn't mean she should treat you like that! Please tell her your confiding in her was for SUPPORT and to unburden yourself, not so she can second guess your medical treatment! She should hold you hand and offer her unwavering support, that's what friends are for. Real friends listen without pointing out what they assume to be flaws in the solutions at hand and don't pretend to know more than everyone else.

"Normal" people know they are not experts in every field. She must be very insecure. I think that's why some people go around trying to prove they know everything. Most folks know they have a lot to learn in life, and are humble enough to admit they don't know something. It would be an interesting exercise to have her say, "I don't know" and see if she can even make herself utter those words!

Best of luck to you. I certainly hope you get well soon. If your gut tells you to get a second (medical) opinion then do it. You know better than anyone else about that, hon. Take care.

Answer 2

My uncle and one of my aunties is just like this. Unfortunately, we end up watching everything we say when they're around. It's a shame because an interesting and meaningful conversation that could happen is reduced to the weather and how was work today - just mundane pleasantries, and even then it can cause a debate. All important documents are always put away before they visit because they will read them and then talk openly about them. It's sad, but they are losing out on a good relationship because you can never confide in them or 100% trust them. Just school yourself to what you say around her if you still want to be her friend, and hopefully she'll improve or else you'll meet a true confidante one day.

Answer 3

You're not going to win this one. People like this have self esteem issues and are attention seekers. This type of person is trying to demonstrate knowledge and wisdom where it does not exist. People who bully others with their opinions without listening to others are trying to hide their own inadequacies. Just because you asked a question does not mean that you have to listen to a verbal assault. If I were you, I'd steer clear of this person. Maybe the message that this is not acceptable behaviour will filter through.

Answer 4

Tell her that you don't value her opinions because she always thinks she is right but more often than not is wrong. Its a shame because people who always think they are right learn nothing about everything. Alternatively ignore her when she starts talking about things you don't agree wit and she'll have no one to argue with, or preferably tell her to ZIP IT! plain and simple.

Answer 5

I know it sounds daft, but for the sake of silence and some bewildered looks, I just agree with people like that.

This kind of person just debates for the sake of it by what you've written. If you give them nothing to fight against and just smile and agree with exactly what they're saying... then they'll

a) Shut up

and

b) Get really confused as to why you're not fighting back

Both of which I believe can be positive outcomes. That look of confusions will stay imprinted on your mind for a long time, and will be worth savoring :)

And hey, if she's talking Bull then why can't you? (by letting her think you agree) You don't have to actually agree with her, just make her think you do, lol.

Answer 6

First of all, don't spend your time with a know-it-all in debate. The only way to win is to walk away.
Having said that, ask her if she has a doctors degree. She shouldn't be able to diagnose or treat without a doctor's degree. You do what your doctor tells you.

Answer 7

Explain to this girl that it's your life an what you decide to do is not up for debate and if they are a true friend they will except that and move on if not maybe you should get rid of her after all true friends just want you to be happy!

Answer 8

Just stop talking when she's around. Then she will have nothing to debate about. If there are other people with you, call them aside If you have to say anything. It is rude, but she will eventually get the picture and back off. If and when you speak to her, keep it to a brief hello, nothing more that could spark a debate. Or you could tell her to keep her comments to herself because you really dont value her opinion. Its your choice

Answer 9

I have known people like this and they are biggest pain in the preverbial bum! I dont think they could change even if they wanted to. I steer clear of them to be honest. Life is too short to have a friend like that

Answer 10

The are are couple different ways to approach, the diplomatic way.. 1) let her rant and rave, then ignore her advise.2) tell her that you appriciate her opinion, but your going to make your own choice on this one. 3) tell her to **** off, or do what I do, I do everything humanly posible to stay out of the way of those kind of people. I avoid them like the plague.