Why do a have a morbid fear of death?

Question

To be more specific, I can never talk about death and even typing the word chills me to the bone. I am absolutely terrified of it and anything related to it. I cannot recall anything traumatic happening to me now or in my childhood to make me feel this way. Is there a name for this type of phobia? Does anyone else experience it? I am a middle aged woman, married with 6 grown kids and I am in good health. I have had this terrible fear for about 25 years. No, nothing happened 25 years ago to make me feel this way. It really bothers me. I don't want to die - ever! I can't talk about it to anyone because of the fear. I have to keep it to myself. This was very difficult for me to write but I am hoping someone can help me understand this. Thankyou.

laceyale: yes i do suffer from anxiety. You are quite right and I am learning to deal with this with the help of my gp and relaxation exercises etc but there is no way I can talk to my gp or anyone about the phobia. It amazes me that everyone and I mean everyone on this earth expects to die eventually. Why? Now I know I am coming across as a complete nutter! What I mean is why do we take this as a given? Does not anyone question it? Look at the millions of people globally who go missing. One person is reported missing every 3 minutes in Australia. That is mind bogling. OK, some choose to 'disappear', some are runaways, some have met with foul play and so on but there are many thousands who have vanished without a trace and without any plausible explanation. Look at the disappearances over the years in the Bermuda Triangle for example. No-one has yet explained that. What I hope for is that I will 'go' like that if I have to go at all. I'd rather disappear into the unknown alive than die

Answer 1

i think it's completely normal to fear death. it's a complete unknown. this sounds irrational tho, this level of fear, i would suggest you try to talk to a grief counselor. they have a lot of experience dealing with death and you mind find something in their ideas that helps you. i know you said you can't talk about it but if you don't talk about fear it consumes you. then you will lose your good health and you will live face-to-face with what you fear most. good luck.

Answer 2

We all have fears. Some stronger than others, some are rational others not.
Certain fears go beyond the intellect..that is one can't be reasoned or talked out of them. These fears tend to originate from our subconscious and take a bit self discovery to root them out.

The fear of death can be very strong for many people and whether or not they will admit it most people share that fear to different degrees.

I'm guessing the reason your fear is so strong is because of the 'unknown factor'. We just dont really know what will happen after we die. Fear of the unknown is an extremely powerful fear. It keeps some people locked inside their houses for years, keep some people from meeting new people and forming relationships or from traveling etc.

Well it looks like Ive said a lot but I still haven't given you anything to help. The problem is that no matter what I say or explain about death and what actually happens you will still have the same dilemma. You either believe or not and if you do, what if your wrong? You understand what I mean?

If I told you that death really is only a human concept and that what makes you you still continues would that change things?. What if I told you that your physical body wasn't you and it is only the vehicle you are using while on this world or that you have lived lives and died thousands of times but just dont remember?

Probably wouldn't change you fear. You might think what I have to say is reasonable or you might think that I'm a crack but either way the fear is still there.

So how do you get rid of the grip this fear has on you? Fear of the unknown can be overcome by making the unknown known. Think about it, if you knew exactly what was going to happen and it that it wasn't an end but only a beginning of something possibly wonderful you might actually look forward to it or at the very least there would be no fear.
I have had personal and direct experiences that have shown me there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of so my fear of death is non existent.

If you would like to learn more about death and what happens after death then I would recommend www.gnosticweb.com as a good starting point. The information I learned there gave me the tools I needed to personally investigate and directly gain experience about life death and what happens next.

Don't take my word for any of this. Learn for yourself. Gain your own personal experience and finally be free of the strangle hold your fear has on you. Imagine how free you would feel if this fear wasn't around every corner.

I realize a quick fix would be nice but it just doesn't exist. Drugs, hypnotherapy , the latest self-help book will never give long lasting relief and will never answer your questions in a absolute way.

I wish you strength.

Answer 3

Morbid Fear

Answer 4

What you have is called a 'phobia' and that can be 'extremely debilitating' no matter what it is that you are 'morbidly afraid of' ... but I can at least explain 'why you have it now' and can give you some 'hints' about what you can do to 'help yourself' with it ...
You have this phobia because you are getting older ... and since you 'first got it' when you reached adulthood or near that time, I think I can safely say that you 'grew up' ... but that phobia is 'extremely stressful' to you because it is a 'phobia.' I'm guessing that you come from a family that felt it was 'protecting you from death' (and exposure to people and animals who died) when you were young, and that you 'didn't know' and got 'slapped in the face' by the 'death and destruction' from the 'wars' in the world ... and I'm going to advise you to do some things that may seem 'counter-intuitive' ... start taking a nice 'long walk' once a month ... first 'around the outside' of a cemetery for the first four months, and then going 'into the cemetery' a bit more over the next four months, so that in eight months you can take a 'full long walk' inside the cemetery. It's actually that 'walk outside' the edges of the cemetery that will 'do the trick' ... because cemeteries are very 'quiet and peaceful' places, with little noise or excitement, and by 'walking the edges' you'll be able to 'notice this difference' slowly, over time. I love taking long walks in cemeteries ... especially the 'older one' near us, that has the 'city founders' buried there. I actually like reading the headstones and 'wondering' what the peoples lives were like 'way back then' ... but there is another thing you should do NOW that will help ... start 'thinking about your own death' and make some decisions about what you want 'done' after you die. I don't believe in 'ritualized funerals' ... I want to be cremated and have someone scatter my ashes onto some rose bushes (ashes are very 'healthy' for rose bushes, and make the flowers even more beautiful) ... and I've told my husband and my children that this is how I want to 'go out' ... I've also made sure that they know that I don't want a 'funeral' or memorial service at all, and that they aren't going to have anything to 'fight over' when I die, because I'm leaving EVERYTHING to my church, to go to the 'homeless relief.'
I have had malignant melanoma twice, and was given a 'terminal diagnosis' both times (I'm still alive, over 35 years later, after the first one) and have had two heart attacks ... but I get 'really angry' and I 'fight for all I'm worth' because I have an 'extremely long list' of things I want to do in my life ... to do them all, I'd now have to live to be at least 180! I know that I can't actually live that long, of course ... but it 'changes the way I think' so that I feel 'younger' at 56, as as I 'grow older' I won't get 'elderly' because of that FEELING inside me. It's very subtle, but it does work, and if you can do something like that, you'll actually become less 'phobic' about death ... yours, and those of the people you love.

Answer 5

be not afraid, what is death ? we really do not know, so why are we afraid of something which we know almost nothing about ? it is a door, a gateway, to what ? well nobody who crossed it came back to tell us... it is perhaps the final comfort and the great equalizer, we all will die...
yes, there is a name for the fear you experience, but I am not a professional to advise you on the fear you face...
I understand waht you are experiencing and can only share my experience with you. The fear of what will come in the future is robbing your present of joy and happiness you deserve so much. Please do not torture yourself...
death is a whisper in the night, when it finally comes we do not know the time, the voice, or what journey the voice is beconing us to undertake.
please have faith in the wisdom of the universe, yours are not the footprints on the beach, you are here for a very good reason, and that is to be compassionate and kind, not to be afraid... the good you will do in your life will outlast you...
fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate is the sure path to the dark side...
so, smile and cocentrate on light, not darkness...
it is said we do not really die until the last person who holds our memory in their heart passes from this world, do good and make sure people remember you forever...
it is also said a library burns when a person dies, make sure as many people as possible share your wisdom ond knowledge...

Answer 6

hello! well, i am a little younger than you. only 20, but i do go through the same thing you are experiencing. What i have linked my condition to is an anxiety disorder. I will frequently think i am dieing or am going to die on a regular basis from some weird unknown reason. I might have a slight headache and think that i have a brain tumor. It sounds so stupid when i talk about it, but to me it is real and it's scary! i would talk with your family doctor and i'm sure he will prescribe you some medication to help calm your nerves and possible request that you see a psychiatrist to try and figure out the underlying meaning of all the stress! Good luck!

Answer 7

You are not alone in this fear, many people have it. I am in my 30's now and know that I will die one day no matter what I do. That terrifies me. But, it also gives me strength; knowing that my time here on Earth is limited, it drives me to be the best that I can be and to experience and accomplish things that I want to do. I'm not afraid of being hurt to be honest. Im more afraid of not doing everything I wanted to do and then one day being too old to do them, and having the regrets.

Answer 8

I used to be afraid of dying too, then I became a christian and learned that even if my body dies my spirit lives!!! Accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour is the only way there is to NEVER have to experience death! !
He paid that price for us, He died on the cross at calvary over 2000 years ago so that even us today can live for eternity with Him in Heaven!!
I would love to talk to you more about this when you are ready to talk. I will pray for your fears to end so that is possible!

Answer 9

Totally understand your thinking, appreciate your question! Think of old age: inevitable, isn't it! From middle age, you (gracefully) pass on to, graduate to, mature to old age: no control on passing time, and, therefore aging process, except you can accept the realities of life associated with old age with mature understanding, with grace and cheer! Yes, you can! Now, go a step further: every human life has an 'expiry date'! In some ways, it is good that every one of us, has to move on, pass away, at the appropriate time! Just as old age, end of life also is inevitable: so, why be afraid of death, why not take it as another event in life, the last one in a series of events, a chain of events that every one's life is! A few more thoughts sequel to this 'starter' concept on death, will put you at ease: may be, some more discussion on this, without shying away! But your thought is well appreciated!

Answer 10

Most people have a fear of death. You feel that you are immortal. You haven't accepted the fact that you could die tomorrow (which is morbid) or that you will eventually die because we are mortals and don't live forever.