is giving selfish?

Question

it makes us feel good.

i dont think you guys are getting the question. is giving selfish if it makes us feel good alone...Im not talking about tangible returns...

Answer 1

According to Derrida, all giving is self-interested, or in his terms "poison." Even our gratitude, in his estimation is tainted by hidden motives. But if you truly apply yourself to this understanding, you have to ask yourself what precisely can you do in response to a gift?

A narrative response to this might be discerned in Isak Dinesen's short story "Babette's Feast."

Answer 2

We've gotten great answers about giving and Kant and Derrida, now I'll give you the Bataille/Baudrillard answer.

In the contemporary moment, beyond the end of history, we no longer contend with exchange in the way we used to, because everything has gone over the edge, plummeting into the ocean like lemmings, into EXCESS and REMAINDER, what Bataille calls, 'the accursed share' - that which is doomed to useless expendature, and which circulates outside the normal field of exchange.

Classically, the gift functions as part of a gift/counter-gift system of opposition exchange, but this is thrown off the wheel by excess, to which there is no 'other side' of the equation. Light/dark, Good/evil, Male/female, Remainder/....?

The system cannot respond symbolically to the gift of excess and thuse collapses. When it happens its hysterical and terrifying.

Hysterical:

The postal service in the UK crippled by the flowers the world sent to the crown when Diana ate it, and again when the Queen Mother passed a few years ago.

IKEA riots. There's a riot everytime they open an IKEA. Not because of any issue, but because people can't get enough of their stuff. All civilized society breaks down in the face of cool sofas for really cheap. This is a similar phenomenon to gasoline hysteria.

Terrifying:

Terrorism. We send kids to war to die based on a lie because we have to construct a response to an event to which there is no response.

Answer 3

Giving makes one feel good, true, it may not be as altruistic as it sounds but would that make it necessarily selfish? Are you giving in order to feel good or are you giving because you think it's right and feeling good is the thing that comes with it.
If you give enough times it becomes habit. Can giving by habit still make you feel good? Is that selfish? Maybe it's selfish to do something out of habit because it's what you're used to that's why you do it. I could go on and on.

Answer 4

It can be; in a good way, mostly.

Kant restricted his definition of altruism as only that giving which had absolutely NO benefit to the giver. In order for that to take place, you'd have to give something of value to someone you actually disliked, so that you derived no personal pleasure from it. Sick, eh?

That's one reason Ayn Rand was so vociferous about touting the value of "selfishness". (She only used that title to provoke people.) Her real point was that life moves forward, and humanity moves upward when guided by rational self-interest. That does not preclude generosity or giving, because most people recognize that there's a benefit of some kind when you give something of your own to somebody else who needs it.

This is one of the points that turns people off about philosophy. At some point, it becomes a stupid word game, with no relevance to real life, so why even listen to it?

My own view is that Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism is really the only philosophy that has any practical value in making real-world decisions. That's probably why so many philosophers dislike her work. She's taking the magic out of their witch doctor routines!

p.s. I see your addition, and would add this;

Isn't "feeling good" a tangible benefit? People pay millions of dollars per year for it in chocolate, amusement park rides, religion and psychotherapy. "Giving" is just another way of paying for it. And there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you're not giving to somebody who uses your gift in a destructive manner.

Perhaps your question is centered on the nature of the word "selfish". That's likely, as the word's been so polluted and confused by "word game" philosophers over the years. So the decision is one only YOU can make, based on your opinion of the word's meaning.

Answer 5

Giving for it's own sake is often selfish, or at its core an ego centered act, in that sometimes our goal is to feel fulfilled, not strictly knowing if "charitable acts" ACTUALLY benefit another/others.

In that context it's kind of a dichotomey, in that we salve ourselves, while possibly gracing others. Many may think there is a "ledger" somewhere? A tallying of points in some fashion, and that GIVING is a way to help balance some personal or metaphorical "scale"

Certainly one usually thinks of it as an act of good, and it does create a feeling in us of having given, not strictly considering that we did it JUST for US. In the context you speak of "Selfish" is it sinful to feel good? Of course not.

There is an alternate side of the issue too. Sometimes we may "give" reluctantly, and by situation and cause, DON't Feel so GOOd about it.

Answer 6

Yeah, I would say so. Feeling good, by which I mean the quenching of empathy, isn't the only reason people give. Some people give to increase their reputation as a generous person. Giving only helps ones public image. Others give because they believe is will help them attain a better life. Giving can be used to avoid negative consequences, e.g. "If I don't give my sister a piece of candy, my mom will punish me," or "If I give the cop money perhaps he will let me off with a warning."

I think giving to feel good, as I described it, is the least selfish.

Answer 7

Isn't the whole concept of living selfish. If giving makes you feel good , then go for it. But if you're 'giving' so that you 'look' good then you're motives need a re-looking.

Answer 8

Giving is loving oneself. Sometimes lots of people got mistaken in the difference between selfishness and love for your own.

Answer 9

what is your first instinct when the thought of giving something to someone? "If I do this then Im gonna feel good about myself!" or that person will feel good about me and then i,ll feel better about myself."
that would be selfish,because it,s not about how the gift affects the person youre giving it to.It,s about self.
Now to give to someone and feel good afterwards would be unselfish because giving unselfishly with concern for another isnt a natural act,we have to overcome our fears of not having enough for ourselves and the basic instinct of me first!
feeling good is the reward for overcoming the base self.
peace><>

Answer 10

People ask variations of this question frequently and I have to wonder... does it matter?

how will it change your behavior if you decide that there is absolutely no way to be selfless? Or if it IS possible to be selfless? Will you change your altruistic behavior?

If you feel good helping others, do it. If you can't be bothered, don't do it.

Don't forget, we are primates. Observe primate behavior to see where altruism comes from.