Crimson Lipstick
Eyes red,
Determination deep red,
She was poison and she knew it,
Experienced in her ways,
Patient in her execution,
Sweet smooth delivery that leaves her prey stunned,
Immobile from her as if paralyzed by her sting,
Short skirt to display long well maintained legs,
Perfect shoulders-just an arms length,
Passive hardened smile,
Incomprehensible by the youngings,
Slow dance strokes,
The night is long,
The game become prey,
The prey, the pursuit,
The bleeding, the kill,
She is pure poison.
2007-05-28 19:40:06 · 6 answers · asked by breezeb 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
ran through and still gasping for breathe!! LOL.
It's a a sweet short poem. Indeed, "She is pure poison" somehow because "Incomprehensible by the youngings."
2007-05-28 20:02:05 · answer #1 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the third line is a bit odd to me but other than that its really good...it has a sexy side without being over the top and has a very firmiliar quality..the only fear i have is that the idea may be a bit overdone but i really like it...i lvoe the image it produces
2007-05-29 03:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by kyle r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean like actually get up and try jumping past it into my computer screen? I'd need a couple of beers to try something like that lady but thanx anyway
2007-05-29 02:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is pretty good, i cant write stuff like that, sounds like a girl i once knew, it makes sense
2007-05-29 05:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by jen w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its alright, but you should fix it up a lil, the flow is just a lil off and uneven
2007-05-29 02:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty good send it in.
2007-05-29 02:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋