How can my son get out of paying everything he has in child support?

Question

My son has 2 kids by 2 different women. He pays child support regularly. He can't afford to get an apartment, he lives with his parents. He only makes 11.00 an hr. and pays out 190 a week on the 2. This seems like alot more than he should pay. I believe in supporting your children, but without his dad and me he would live under a bridge or worst. Rent is expensive, plus having to eat, pay on a car and gas. Can he have his case re-evaluated? One of the women has never worked a lick. I don't need any lectures. It depresses me deeply, I love him and wish he could be on his own and so does he. One of them drug up and moved to Florida, he can't even afford to drive and see his little girl, he is heartbroken.

I agree about the condoms you who answered like you know all, but women can use birth control also. He pays dearly!!!! He loves his kids. What...he is suppose to starve while his lazy exs don't work. I used to feel the way you do. Maybe you want have any problems in life. Apparently you have no children or just stupid and hate men. he made mistakes but so did the women. It takes 2.

Clver C and All you self righteous people, thanks alot, ask for help not critcism. Thanks to all of you who care. He works his *** off, all you self indulging rats.

Thanks Krinta

Person named "Leavin Florida". Worst answer yet. You sound cruel. Maybe you need problems with kids to find out what you would do. He supports them, that's more than the majority do!!!!!

BK - People males mistakes. These women choose to live on welfare. He works and supports them. You must be judge and jury. Talk big. And I dare you say I baby him!!! He was once my baby. He has good Christian parents who love him and wouldn't dump him out in the street like you would, from what you are saying in your big intelligent words. I just want him to be able to live a better life. His grandkids are my family's life and will never do without. He shouldn't kept it in his pants and this and that. WOMEN ALSO NEED TO KEEP THEIR LEGS TOGETHER. Takes 2, you got it!!!!

Colleen, I dare you!!!!!!!! I am very responsible. Go find a rock!!!!!!

Answer 1

Sorry everyone is being so judgemental...doesn't answer your question by placing blame and siding with the kids' moms-believe me, I'm experiencing first hand how lazy these women can get when they're recieving a "paycheck" from the baby's dad.

That said (and I hate statistics, but it puts it in perspective)...
The USDA estimates that it costs about $10,000 a year to raise a child. Most states make the parents contribute to the cost of living based on what percentage of the total annual income is from each (If they, combined, make 50,000 dollars and 30,000 is from your son, he will be expected to pay 60% of the cost of raising the child for the year).

It sounds like your son is paying about $100 a week for each child, which is just over $5000 a year. He's paying half of their cost of living. Make sense? It sounds like a lot, but realistically, the mom has to pick up the rest of the expense. She might be getting state aid to do it, but the money has to come from somewhere.

Now, if your son has more than half the custody or makes less than the children's moms, that does sound like it might be excessive. Support and custody can both be re-evaluated with a change in circumstances. I would suggest it, especially for the one that moved out of state...most states require court's permission before doing that,but I don't know about yours.

Whatever he does, though, don't try to get more custody just to cut down on support. The cost will just come back at him in the form of grocery/clothing/childcare bills, etc. and that's no reason to want more custody anyway.

Good luck to you both!

Answer 2

I feel bad for you and your son. However he does make a decent wage. My x pays double that for one child. His parents helps him out as well. However that was the judge decision. I do work and hard 60 hrs plus per week. We were also married 9 years and my son was born very sick. The other two women I am sure have a story as well. Right now the low end for child support in Florida is $112.00 per week, per child. This is a state the has a good min wage v/s the national average. You son could ask for a reduction however I don't know how well that would go over. The best thing you can do is talk to your family lawyer if you have one. if not then he just needs to get a second job. Sounds harsh I know and i do feel for you and your son. He has a child he cannot see and another one who's mother sounds iffy at best. The only way he will begin to see daylight is to work 2 jobs and not have a life for awhile. At least this way he will be on his own two feet. IF one of the other mothers try to take him to court to have it raised then he will be able to show the court what is what and then he will have a reduction in his favor.
Best of luck to all of you, you are a great mum and super grandma.
God bless hun...

Answer 3

First off, you need to prove a few things. You first need to prove that the mother is unfit. Alternatively, prove that they're not your children. If you can do neither, then push for joint custody. This means that they children will spend ½ their time with their father and ½ their time with their mother. Generally in a joint custody arrangement like this, there will be no trading of child support. The sad thing about courts is that they always favor the women. It's biased, but that's just traditionally how the system works. He's got to prove that he's a capable man. Things like taking parenting classes and taking the children to church show that he's concerned with their health and emotional growth. Regarding the one that moved to FL, he should review the paperwork. Sometimes, there are clauses in a divorce case where the parents cannot move out of state. Where I live, parents are forbade from leaving state until the child is 18 or unless they have the permission of the other parent. You may want to check into this to make sure that your divorce or the county you filed in didn't have a clause against this.

Answer 4

I am not here to judge your son, but he should have had sense enough to start wearing a condom when he had one illegitimate child. One is an accident (and a dumb one in this day and age), but two is just plain ridiculous. And yes, the women should have taken precautions as well, but they didn't.
He needs to keep working as well as get financial aid and start going to night school in order to better himself and get a better job. As for how much he is paying, he may be able to get it amended.

As for $190 being too expensive, have you tried to raise a child on $95 per week? Think about it: rent, utilities, food, clothes, medical, dental, etc. It adds up. And when that doesn't cover it, who picks up the slack? Taxpayers through government funded programs.

And no, I don't feel sorry for the mothers of these kids, either. It's their fault as well. However, they must now make do with $95 a week which isn't nearly enough to cover raising a chld. And yes, they should be working full time as well. Child custody cases usually favor the mother and that's just the way it is. If your son isn't interested in paying support in that amount, then maybe he should file for full custody of both children and they can all live with you and you can take care of them (no child care $$$) while he goes to college and works.

Who I do feel sorry for is the children, who have to live with single parents and realize that they were complete accidents, suffer their parents mistakes and have to make do on $95 a week. They are, thus far, destined to live very sad, very difficult lives.

Answer 5

Judge will base it on current salary. You can find out the exact amount online. Google your state and child support calculator and you can plug in both of their salaries. Also, her boyfriend has a direct impact on her current lifestyle. If she is living with the guy, then he is paying the bills. Part of his salary comes into play if it is an established relationship. The court will not order him to pay daycare especially since she does not work. That is not the way it works. Daycare, insurance, and salary is all include in the calulation for child support. Google it on-line. Good luck, I know it must be hard seeing your son go through this. Try to give him some reassurance. He needs it.

Answer 6

My best advice is to consistently prove that he is being a father in all senses of the word -not just providing monetary support. This will help when the judge is reviewing his case. Also, he should be able to appeal the ex's move to Florida - many states won't allow a parent to move a child out of state without the consent of the other parent, and if so, I believe she is required to bring the child back for visits. He should look up the local laws on this, as well.

Good luck, it sounds like a difficult situation.

Answer 7

The cost and responsibility in raising a child is far more expensive than when you were a mother. Regardless if he is living under a bridge or still being coddled by his mommy, He made the choice to father 2 children and he can't be rescued by these sort of choices. He needs to pony up and be a man. He is getting a break by living with you, and perhaps he should focus on his long term future goals rather than the fly by night relationships. The children are not the mistakes, its both of the parents equal responsibility, and I get so tired of hearing about men who feel victimized by their fatherly duty. Its time to let him grow up and learn from his poor choices, stop bailing him out like a child who has been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. And by all means stop making his bed for him!

Answer 8

If I were you I'd have my son move out for a little while, maybe stay here and there for a bit and call his caseworker at the childsupport office and ask for them to re-evaluate his case?! With him having a place to stay rent-free they are going to think he can afford it. If they are considering that he is paying rent somewhere even if it's a hotel room or whatever they'll count that towards his bills. You always hear about men not paying child support and what deadbeat dads they are but women aren't really expected to pay as much. Yes, we get the children the majority of the time, but what a blessing that is in itself. I think everything should be spit 50/50, custody, financial responsibility, etc. I do think your son needs to be sure to protect himself from conceiving another child. You would have thought he'd have learned from the first child!? I don't mean this disrespectful, but what happens if he has another child because he thinks you are going to rescue him each time? I know you love your son and want him to not have to struggle, but think about it, what a lesson he is learning about the high price of acting irresponsibly. Yes, the mothers should have to also but I'm sure they are dealing with their share of reality too. They are the ones getting up during the nights, changing poopy diapers, taking them to the store each week, cooking their dinner, running them to and from school and afterschool events, etc. I agree that $11/hr is VERY hard to survive on and I have NO idea how they expect ppl to make it on that kind of money but they do. I wish your son the best and I hope things work out in the end for all involved. Most of all, you need to try and stop stressing yourself over everything. You need to care for yourself too. I know as a mother of an eight yr old boy it's easier said than done. Hopefully I won't have to worry about my son the way you are worrying about yours. God bless you and your family. Tell your son to hang in there and to keep on "keeping on". :-)

Answer 9

Everything depends on the state you live in. Since he is living with you, your income may be included into living costs and money and that may be why they are taking that much out. (Not sure, just a guess.) Some states allow as much as 33% on first child and then a little less on the next. It isn't fair, but the first child comes first and they have to be fair to his income. Go request that it be re-evaluated and see about the one who moved. He could possibly get her for kidnapping.

Is the one that has never worked the one who moved to Florida. If she was getting state aid, then the state was probably pushing for her to get a job. Trust me though that $190 a week isn't that much to pay for two children. Especially, if this is covering insurance too.

My boyfriend was sent paperwork saying that he was going to have to pay $750 a month for his son that he had custody of. His ex applied for state aid in their sons name, so they went after him for support.

Hope this helps!!

Answer 10

Well, the court system in my state won't let a parent take their child out of state without good reason when the father has a right to see them. Unfortunately, courts aren't too kind on the amount of child support a father is responsible for. He could hire an attorney, but there are no guarantees on the money issue. Maybe from here on out he should use condoms.