Other than the obvious .Staying because of the kids.What could be some factors why my husband hasn't divorced me when he's been wanting one for 3 years now.And it's defiantly not because he still loves me.Is it common for people to stay together because because they don't want to spit their asset.
2007-05-28 14:09:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forget about what he wants. What do YOU want? I mean, why are you staying with a person who tells you he doesn't want to be with you anymore? For three years already? So that means that any hour of the day, he might actually walk out on you. Or maybe not. That's way too much uncertainty. He didn't tell you today. But what about tomorrow? Or maybe Thursday three weeks from now?...
Please ask yourself what you want. You can be the one to initiate the divorce. Take some of your power back and take control of your life. he's controlling you. He being emotionally abusive and playing with your emotions. He's deliberately wearing you down. Do not let that happen!
Good luck!!!
2007-05-28 14:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people become engrossed in the life that other people think they have. They create a facade that they become completely unwilling to let go. How do you know he's wanted a divorce for 3 years? Do you HAVE kids? Financial issues are always a factor, too. Do YOU want a divorce? It sounds to me like you do. Have you been to counseling? There are so many factors here that haven't been elaborated upon that it's really hard for someone who doesn't know the whole story and the details to make any assessment.
2007-05-28 21:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by lizzie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of Christian couples stay together even though they are miserable and the whole family would be better off if they split because divorce is believed to be sinful. My parents are like that. When I was a kid, I wished that they would just divorce and even asked them to because they are so miserable, but instead I accepted that their religion has ruined their lives. Since then they've gone to Christian counselling, still very miserable, but I think the counselling helped them accept that misery like it was godly or something. It's twisted actually.
2007-05-28 21:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking out the kid factor I would say it is due to finances. It is costly to get a divorce. Could also be that he is afraid of change. It may be psychologically easier for him to stay in the marriage rather than get divorced and makeover his life. However (and this is just a thought), he may be using the divorce tactic as a way to control you by fear... by holding the "I'm going to divorce you" over your head he may believe that you will be less apt to do things that he doesn't like.
2007-05-28 21:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose many do but I think some stay out of commitment.
A man should think, if I get divorced--I am going to end with with somebody's sloppy seconds. Most likely a single mom with kids, [who I won't dare have any control over]--& where will my children be? who will be sleeping under their roof? what man will be ogling my daughter? what about when my son needs me to show him how to be a man? will she lose the house I worked so hard to attain? I know my wife's shortcommings--but what about the next woman? A woman divorced has her own set of issues. Female children need protection, males need guidance!
2007-05-28 21:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, money is probably the main reason but it could also be insecurity and a fear of being alone.
it just depends how much compromising you are both willing to do to have a "marriage of convenience".
personally, I would get out of the marriage fast.
2007-05-28 21:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And with facing child support and possible spousal support being very expensiveits just possible that he actually sees he cannot afford to divorce you and its to his best interest just to stay put til a better "less expensive" time comes along
2007-05-28 21:18:18 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just like the security of having you around, the image of being married. Or he is afraid of what he'll lose in a divorce.
2007-05-28 21:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by DK Julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is. But, what he does not realize is the longer he stays, the more it will cost him to get out. Maybe you should be the one to end it. Staying together is cheating you both out of finding more healthier and loving partners.
2007-05-28 21:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a big possibility. But you know, I don't buy the whole "stay for the kids" bullcrap. It isn't healthy to keep the kids in an unstable situation. I got divorced FOR my kids so that they wouldn't have to live in constant turmoil.
2007-05-28 21:20:27 · answer #10 · answered by Masha 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋