I've cheated on my husband a few times because I don't feel like he is giving me enough atttention and when it comes down to hanging out with me or his friends he chooses them. I have to throw a fit in order for him to stay home sometimes. We just barely got in a fight today because he found a number on my phone and asked me who's it was, I confessed that it was some guy that I kissed last weekend because he got mad at me, told me it was over and took off. Now I told him what happened and he doesn't want to leave me or anything but said he is going to cheat because he's fed up and told me he hopes someday things can be the same between us and spills out his heart about how much he is hurt and then goes to his friends house. So I call him and he ignores my calls. I text him telling him I want to change and he just ignores me. Finally I get pissed off because he ignores me so much I tell him if he ignores me and takes off it's only gonna make things worse. Is he really hurt or fake?
2007-05-28 13:59:54 · 16 answers · asked by wifey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think there first sentence about says it all you cheated so he ignores you, erm i wonder why, its not exactly gonna solve your problems however, you didn't do it once you've done it several times of your own admission. If he's got his head around the first, second or third time then maybe he's being unreasonable in being hurt, he should be inured by it all by now you'd think.
Lady you either want to be in a stable relationship or not, not really any other choices not if you want him in your life, and i can't imagine why he'd want that, not a relationship of any meaning.
2007-05-28 14:09:47 · answer #1 · answered by andyjh_uk 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is hurt. Why wouldn't he be, you have cheated several times. Cheating is wrong under any circumstance. You can't just say, "he ignores me so what else can I do but cheat". That is very childish to handle it this way, and hurtful. You should have talked to him and told him how it makes you feel when he ignores you, and define what it is he is doing or not doing that makes you feel ignored. I'm surprised your husband is still with you after you have cheated on him multiple times. You should count your lucky starts he hasn't divorced you already. I think the only thing that might save your marriage at this point is marriage counseling. His behavior, which you find so frustrating, is likely a result of your past indiscretions.
2007-05-28 14:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've cheated on him "a few times" and you want to stay in this relationship because.....? Then when you confess to cheating AGAIN, and he doesn't want to be with you at that time, you decide you might just do it again, cause HE's NOT LISTENING?
For God's sake girl - GROW UP! You keep hurting him - and yes, the hurt is very real - and expect him to take you back each and every time YOU decide he should?
You want him to reveal his emotions to you, when you are slapping him in the face (metaphorically) every time? Of course he doesn't reveal his emotions to you, your not his safe place to fall. He can't trust you to be there for him BECAUSE YOU CHEAT! And it seems you're looking for excuses to do what you want to do all along, that is cheat.
You need some help to understand what a relationship is, what commitment is, and until you learn that, I suggest you stay away from him - and anybody else you might hurt like that. Get some counseling, get your self straightened out, cause what your doing isn't normal or right.
2007-05-28 14:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey wifey,
He probably is hurt but being melodramatic. You did not cheat on him because he was ignoring you. You cheated on him because you felt like and you are trying to justify your actions by blaming him. You need to stop and think about just what you why if at all you want to stay with your husband or if you should move on. If you decide to stay then work on it - if you don't then go. Men have feelings too but it is hard for anyone to say that he is faking or not. All the best.
2007-05-28 14:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by JQ 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course your husband is hurt and upset and has every right to be. You married him for better for worse and you are the one "going out" on him. When times get rough, you aren't supposed to cheat on him no matter the situation even if it is because you feel that you are not getting the affection that you deserve. Maybe you both should take a marriage counseling course. You never it may help.
2007-05-28 14:11:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well...you cheated on him. And not only that, you're not explaining, talking, discussing, making things better with him.
He's obviously hurt beyond belief. It's probably true that he still loves you. But his monumental hurt is at the moment greater than his love for you.
Why don't you call a time-out, so to speak? Agree to let's say a week apart. But also agree that the cheating is over. During that week apart you're not single! I'm only suggesting this because it seems that both of you need some distance to get a better perspective on things.
2007-05-28 14:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I dont think this is a good relationship for you. You already cheated a few times, so obviously you are not satisfied with him. You need someone that you will not cheat on or maybe you are better off single. And just so you know, how can he not be hurt? He is probably upset but loves you so is unable to express himself.
2007-05-28 14:06:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants out or is having an affair. Either way, thi sis no way to treat your spouse, how he is doing you. Tell him if he is serious about your marriage, he will take part in your marriage (talk to you, go to marriage counselling, make an effort). You deserve a husband who cares about you. He is not treating you lovingly. Let him know. And don't be afraid to lose him. After all, he's acting like a ghost anyway. I am sorry to hear this happened. Read up about "buyers" and "renters" in marriage. Your husband is acting like a "renter." It sounds like he has issues. Does he always ignore you? if he does it habitually, then he is emotionally abusive.
2016-05-20 02:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait, you cheated on him a "FEW TIMES", and you wonder if he's hurt?
Um, HECK YEAH!
He's been a stand up guy, and you go and cheat, and continue to cheat. He hangs out with his friends, so they can support him through all this, and you get upset and go cheat again.
If I were him, I'd kick your butt out at this point.
You shouldn't be kissing guys, or having their numbers on your phone. That's cheating, and keeping the possibility of cheating close at hand.
If you are serious about this relationship, which you dont seem to be, you'd beg for forgiveness and mean it. But it appears you aren't serious, and dont mean it.
The sad thing is, if he cheats on you, it will probably upset you so much it will send you out on another man hunting quest to get back at him.
And since he seems to be the type who really loves and cares for you and the marriage, if he cheats, its going to destroy him. He'll be wracked with the guilt YOU should be feeling, and you'll probably take it out on him, and he'll blame your cheating on his own actions, instead of seeing you for what you really are.
I'd be more than furious at you, if this were me. I'd be divorced.
Either commit to the marriage or leave, dont play these games anymore. You're destroying him a piece at a time
2007-05-28 14:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by KGene1969 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
his pride and manhood IS hurt.
you need to get counseling and learn to communicate !
2 wrongs don't equal a right .
you did cheat on him in the past, trust and complete forgiveness take time, maybe hes not ignoring you, rather hes trying to forgive and forget.he obviously still loves you, but you need to stop putting yourself in situations to kiss others or cheat. You need to start the change and he needs to see it, COUNSELING dear, COUNSELING , you seem to put it all on him, if he didn't cheat and you did not communicate your needs to him, the blame falls on you, Outside of counseling, the only thing I can suggest is stay away from situations where you are likely to cheat, (or get a chastity belt) I'm sorry but all this can not be put off on him.
2007-05-28 16:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋