Married women that put their children ahead of their husband. Do you agree?

Question

Do you agree that when you are raising you children, you are not raising children, but instead you are actually raising men and women?
Obviously, they aren't adults when they are children, but we aren't raising kids, we're raising men and women. We teach our children to behave as men and women in healthy relationships. How do we teach them that if we don't show them by example? Do we raise our children only to teach them that their children come first ahead of their spouse instead of showing them what a healthy relationship between husband and wife looks like? Only to see when they get older they don't know how to treat their spouse as it relates to their children...In the meantime, the relationship with your husband goes to sh*t....He finds a girlfriend and you no longer want to have sex with him because there is no passion in your relationship. Years later your children grow up and leave home and you're waking up to someone you don't even know anymore...Does this change your mind?

This question needs not to be answered by women that chose to have children with a man that chose or chooses not to marry them...I hope you do put your children first.

So when you get married....the "forsaking all others" part. That includes children right? After all, you are not marrying your children.

Thanks HW
http://www.aish.com/family/heart/who_com...

Answer 1

Ha ha good question. I can't help if I put my child first. Having children scares the sh*t out of you, and its an immediate instinct. My main concern with my daugher is that she get a good education, that she learns the value of education, that she avoids some of the common mistakes teenagers make that might endanger her. In that way, my child's survival is the #1 objective for me. Second comes happiness, relationships, all that. So, I'm probably raising her to be a crappy wife. But I hope that in raising her to be reasonably intelligent she can seek the answers to suppliment what I couldn't teach her, and this includes about relationships. I also hope that my failures and mistakes are a good teacher to her as well- If I can't be a good example I'll be a horrible warning. But I am learning to ease up a little :)

Answer 2

Children are PART OF the family, not the entire family. They will grow up and move out. If people fail to keep the relationship strong between husband and wife then the entire family suffers. I've seen far too many couples forget to keep the fire burning as a couple because they are so involved in the day to day of raising children. I think it is very difficult to find the time to spend alone together that is necessary to keep the relationship going. But it is essential. Otherwise by the time the kids are grown you both want a divorce and then what good will that due the children?

Answer 3

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Answer 4

I have been married for 15 years, and my husband and I had our children less than 2 years ago, but I'm going to tell you that something biological happens when you have a baby (to the mother). There's a protection instinct that kicks in, and you can't help it. The children come first, before the husband. It's nature's way of protecting the young, but it doesn't stop there. Moms are just programmed to do this once they have a child. I can't tell you why or how...it just is.

Answer 5

I married a man that can't say no to his children. In consequence I am treated badly by my own kids cause I do say no. They run the show and I loathe their spoiled butts. These children put first by either spouse will come to hate their lives where their children are involved.

Answer 6

Parents owe it to their children to keep the love and passion alive in their marriage. By doing so it keeps the family together.

That does not mean to neglect the children. It is a fine line.

Parents need husband and wife time. It is not neglectful to the children for the parents to have a weekly date night. They best gift you can give your children is to stay happily married.

Children from divorced families are more likely to get divorced themselves

Answer 7

a family unit should be just that.everyone treating each other with respect and both parents should never undermine each other regarding the children and i think when children see a strong relationship built on that they feel secure without healthy parents how can the kids have the foundation they need in this big world

Answer 8

This question doesn't have a clear cut answer.

When a man and woman get married and have children the children come first because they're children.

But the children know that Mommy and Daddy have special times together.....that they touch, they're kind and loving to each other. They laugh and have fun together....that's how children learn about how to have a good and loving marriage.

Answer 9

Your children should not come before your spouse. There needs to be mom and dad time just as much as their needs to be mom and son/daughter time. It is more beneficial towards the upbringing of your children for them to see what a healthy marriage looks like. That way they are able to maintain healthy marriages themselves.

Answer 10

My husband and I both put our children first.

We believe the children's needs always come first.

Our relationship hasn't gone to sh*t because we have a healthy, loving relationship.

When the time comes that my kids leave our home I will be happy knowing the two of us, together, raised strong, healthy, independent children.

Then...it will be our turn. It is the choice we made.