My ex and his wife wants to throw my son a birthday party and would like to do with me, my boyfriend, and my daughter. It doesn't bother me to do this but my boyfriend of 4 years kinda feels uncomfortable. What should I do?
2007-05-28 12:45:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to find out WHY he feels so uncomfortable? Is it because after 4 years you two are still NOT married and your ex is...I think it is important that the children see that the adults can get along and be friends even after divorce. Your children are lucky that you and your ex are friends and that you feel comfortable doing special things like a party for your son. Is your b/f envious? insecure? jealous? these are all things that need to be discussed and handled. HAVE THE PARTY! IF your b/f is not comfortable, I would say he could stay away from the party but if he cares about you and your children; he will be a part of the party and understand that the bond is important between the children and their father and his new family. I hope he will see the importance of this and be willing to do what is right.
2007-05-28 12:53:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to talk to him about why he feels uncomfortable? Do he and your ex not get along? Does he just not think a joint party is a good idea? Does he just not like kids' birthdy parties? Starting there would be a good idea.
I think it's GREAT that your ex is trying to include everyone in the party planning. And it looks like this might be a positive situation. I'm sure it would mean a lot to your son to have all involved "parents" there whether biological or otherwise.
2007-05-28 12:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by mlynn_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is about your son not your boyfriend, It is your son's special day. i would sit down and talk to the BF about why he is uncomfortable with the idea. Everyone involved is part of your sons family, and he should be able to share his day with ALL the people he loves, it is one day, not like they want to spend every sunday for the next year having get togethers. Sometimes you have to make sacrafices for your childs happiness, and I don't know the situation with you and the ex but it seems a pretty small sacrafice to spend one day with everyone being civil to each other. Whatever you decide, hope you all make it a great day for your son, even if it is seperate celebrations!
2007-05-28 12:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by inthemidwest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am assuming that your ex is your sons bio Dad, so I believe that he has a right to celebrate with his son on his birthday ( if he has been there for him). I am sure that your son would want Mom and Dad there, so your boyfriend has to chose to be there or not. Right now everyone should be mature about it and deal with each other on his special day. If one of the bunch have issues then they need to exclude themselves and let your son enjoy himself as much as possible. Good luck.
2007-05-28 12:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should help your boyfriend understand that you are all a family and that you must all get along for the children's sakes. I think this combined party is a great idea and your son might like having one big party with his entire family.
2007-05-28 12:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him to put his uneasiness aside for this one day. After all, it's your son's birthday and he should be the only thing important on that day.
Best wishes and Happy Birthday to your son!
2007-05-28 12:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by Sr. Mary Holywater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ill go with you . Ive been beat up more then once whats one more time going to hurt . No just kidding i don't want to go but i have been beat up a few times maybe that's what hes afraid of . Or maybe your ex is just out of his class of people but he should have respect for you and go .
2007-05-28 13:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find out why bf feel uncomfortable. He must have some fears or insecurities. Help him get past those.
2007-05-28 12:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by Katyana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an interesting family dynamic there. Ultimately, I'd say you have to make sure the bf is comfortable with whatever you decide to do.
2007-05-28 12:48:44 · answer #9 · answered by bluehonu13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well talk to your boyfriend and ask him why he feels uncomfortable going.......he shouldnt have any reason to feel uncomfortable going well any good reason....but even if he doesnt want to go you should still go
2007-05-28 12:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Mary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋