How am I suppose to react to him telling me he loves me but doesnt want to be with me. We have 3 kids and he loves them i know but he just doesnt want to be a husband or a dad. How do i keep my cool for the kids sake I love my kids anfd i know this is breaking their hearts. How do i let them know their dad loves them and so do I.
2007-05-28 12:34:22 · 8 answers · asked by Kimberly M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unless he has mental problems (besides being a man) he needs to talk with the kids and explain this. It is not your job to cover for him. I know this is hard, as a mother you want to protect the kids and don't want their feelings hurt. But you will put yourself in a really bad place if you are always trying to make excuses for him, the kids will come to not believe you either. Kids are smart and they will catch on fast both to you and to him.
BTW I love you but am not in love with you is complete BS. You can't have it both ways! Tell him to grow up and decide. Set a time limit on this and walk away if he makes the wrong choice.
2007-05-28 12:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by beth l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your children - regardless of age - should NEVER be involved with whatever's happening between you and your husband.
If your husband wants to move out, well, maybe you ought to let him. Just because he doesn't want to be part of the household doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't want to be part of the kids' lives or have interaction with you.
I'm watching a friend of mine go through something rather similar; its really hard on her, but she's been handling the whole thing rather like a business arrangement where the partners are splitting up. It's been good this way for her and her daughter...and it might be a good way to handle it in your arena as well. One smart thing she did was insist that they all get family counseling to aid in the transition period.
Good luck.
2007-05-28 19:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are some really good websites that address these issues. You have to stay strong and consistent with your kids. I would look into counseling as well. The midlife crisis can last for some time.
http://midlifeclub.com/
http://ojar.com
2007-05-28 19:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to rent an apartment until this passes. And let him know he can't have his cake and eat it to. The children will be so much better off not seeing their Dad go through this. Good Luck sweetie
2007-05-28 19:40:38 · answer #4 · answered by macieroads 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he does not want to be a dad? Get rid of him and nail him with child support. He cant just walk away from that resposibility.
2007-05-28 20:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by cynic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out this website:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
There is loads of information and a message board where you can get the best advice. I suspect your husband is cheating on you.
2007-05-28 19:47:08 · answer #6 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pray for him, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives....Jesus loves you
2007-05-28 19:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him an open marriage, until he gets through it... worked for me... ;)
2007-05-28 19:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋