Should Husbands & Wives have different Checking accounts?

Question

I am a little older than my wife, and my concept of money is a bit better than hers. I am a saver, and she is a spender. I make more money than her, but she spends more than me. I tried setting up budgets for the week, and at the end of the week, I may have 100-150 dollars left, and she has none and is always asking for some of my budget money because she is out. What should I do?

Answer 1

My husband and I have separate accounts and we never fight about money. He pays certain bills and I pay certain bills, and whatever is left over in each of our accounts, we spend freely. However, there are times when I need to borrow or he needs to borrow, but it all works out. We never fight about money!

Answer 2

You have a challenge there. My recommended solution doesn't make me friends from women.

You have to formulate in your head your strategy, which is very cold. Do you want to protect yourself, at least personally? Or you are gonna stick it out no matter what? The answer defines the financial strategy.

First of all, half of whatever you have will likely go to her in the event of divorce anyway. So to what extent you want to protect yourself is the depth of the strategy. I can emphathize with you because I am in my early 50s and fiscally conservative. YOu want to be able to put away money regularly for retirement or emergency and it takes discipline.

Therefore, a separate account helps and I call that a "militant" tactic because the message to her reflects trust, or lack of it. And you commit your money to some kind of savings or fund so that hefty penalty would be paid for early withdrawal. Then there is NO MONEY left for spending other than the budgeted amount. Second, you make sure she doesn't go off and open credit card accounts without your consent. Remember, her credit card is your debt. Not just the Visa and MasterCard but retails stores. I learned that Home Depot charges a lot of interest if you don't pay on time. Many retails credit card allows cash withdrawal and you wouldn't know. If she tends to spin out of control, you have to be vigilant that she won't go behind your back.

Also, you may be able to put away higher amount of your income to your IRA so the take home pay is less. The important point is saving is prudent for you, but not getting into debt because of your wife is even more prudent. It is truly very difficult to dig out of a hole.

Be very aware that once you choose going down this direction, you are laying the grounds for her "unhappiness" --- a very common woman term here -- and you know the end result of that.

Answer 3

I too, am the spender and my husband is the saver. We have seperate checking accounts for everyday things and then a joint account for things we are saving for like home improvements. I don't think it's fair for the each persons budget to be based on their individual income. Your a team-your budgets for spending money should be equal.

Answer 4

Just because you set up two checking accounts is not going to work either because she will still ask you for money. You tell her she has to budget her money that she has as you are putting a portion of yours into savings for yours, and her retirement, and if she goes over, too bad because there will not be any to give her. Stick to it, and tie it up so that there will not be any way to get the money out without paying a penalty such as a small deposit CD. The answer from lovely lady is correct. You really need money counseling, as this can actually cause such problems in your marriage, it can lead to a divorce.

Answer 5

I know I am in the minority, but I believe a couple should have a joint checking account.

When you have seperate accounts, things like you explained happened. I believe whichever spouse is better with the finances should take care of them. (They should still talk about how the money is spent, though.)

Too many times I have seen couples talk about "my money" versus "her money". What if a couple does have disproportionate incomes, then what? The person who makes more money gets to spend more?

A relationship works much better when there is balance.

My advice? Talk to your wife about the situation. Explain that you don't appreciate her careless nature. You have to work out a compromise. If not, the relationship will untimately fail.

Answer 6

David do like my wife and I did we each have our own accounts then we have one joint checking account. For your wife it's time to learn money management. If she spends hers then let her know that's it and that the house account is not to be touched. The house account is used for paying bills and repairs only. She sounds like she might put up a fight but let her know that if you don't have the money to fix a car or replace something like a hot water heater or a washing machine then you could have problems. She maybe younger but she's not a child and she needs to learn responsibility and can't keep spending like money grows on tree's....

Answer 7

This is just my personal opinion...

You should have His, Hers AND Ours accounts.

Both people contribute into the "Ours" account -- either a percentage of their income or a set dollar amount... however you decide to budget what you need to meet the basic household expenses, as well as to save for emergencies, vacations and holiday expenses.

The remainder of each person's income is theirs to do with as they choose. This way she will have to learn to be more responsible with her money and what she chooses to purchase. She may complain at first, but in the end this will benefit her, since there are no guarantees in life and something could happen to change your income or your ability to handle the financial responsibilities in the marriage.

Yes, I agree with others that marriage is a partnership and there should be trust between you, but she obviously has not earned your trust in this regard. She is an adult but seems to have a child's concept about money growing on trees. On the other hand, she might describe you as stingy... how can we know the truth! People need to learn how to balance handling their responsibilities with enjoying their lives. You can't take your money with you, but you do need to be prepared for emergencies.

Answer 8

I think it is a good idea to have separate accounts as well as a joint account. This way she can spend money from her account for personal items and only use the joint for bills (not credit card in her case) and expenses such as groceries. Try and help her set some savings goals, for vacation or something special. This may help her learn the value of saving for the future. Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

Yes. It's good to keep finances separate. Share the bills, so that everybody knows what their obligations are...ex. you pay the rent, she pays for food...then have a joint account for saving...even if it's 20 dollars a month, where you both contribute...other than that, whatever money is left is up to the individual to decide what they want to do with it. This will encourage personal responsibility and allows you to remain your individuality while being together.

Answer 10

Setting up budgets needs to be a joint activity rather than one person imposing his ideas on her. Together, list all your expenses for, say a month, and invite her to show how they can be met. Remember to make allowance for the unexpected items such as gifts, special occasions etc, but I think the important thing is that you both " own " the budget.