My wife got sick and passed out early in the night. I put her to bed and while the rest of us were outside eating and drinking, he went into our room, pulled the sheets off her and raped her. She didn't remember much about it and thought it was just a dream until the next morning when he grabbed her into the bathroom and said to keep what happened last night a secret. She asked if they had sex and he said "Yes, I f@#$ you and I liked it. You turn me on, lets do it again." She said no and he said that if she told me, I'd lose my job. She told me 2 days later on the way home. I turned around and went back to his cabin to confront him. He denied it and got violent and abusive. When we reported it to the police, she had already had showers, been in the river and had sex with me. The police said there was no reason to go on since there was no physical evidence. How do I make sure he pays for what he did to my wife and my family?
2007-05-28 12:08:26 · 29 answers · asked by Hurt and Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sounds like your wife was drunk and did it then regretted it and blew the rape whistle...happens all the time
2007-05-28 12:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by Unfrozen Caveman 6 · 3⤊ 4⤋
I am so sorry for your wife and you. It is going to be a difficult situation as you work for him. If there is anyway possible do your job and don't socialize with him.. I believe you should also be looking for new employment, if it would be best if you could leave ASAP. Your wife should under no circumstance even talk to the guy. I would also suggest she go to a Rape Crisis center and talk with them. They'll be able to counsel hr and tell her exactly what she can and can not do.
You getting even would only make a bad situation worse! Take care of your family and forget about "payback" as it won't make you feel any better or less bitter towards him though may land you in jail>
I know you will also get replies suggested that your wife told a lie. I chose not to go there as you seem to know , love and support your wife very much. Hang in there! Go hug your family and start to heal!
2007-05-28 19:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by lucyshines49 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am soo sorry to both you and your wife. What that creep did is inexcusable. Unfortunately, the police are right about the evidence. Unfortunately, rape is a very hard case to make. My guess is that if he was so brazen to do this while you were in the area--he has probably done it before. If you can think of a way to find former victims, your case against him would be much easier to make. BTW, I would reccomend counseling for both you and your wife as events this traumatic often cause PTSD.
2007-05-28 19:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by chicchick306 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally you can't make him pay. It's a clear case of he said/she said. I realize that you want to believe your wife, but be rational and look at the evidence presented.
Your wife's behavior following the alleged attack does not fit the normal pattern of behavior of a person who has been sexually assaulted.
1. Not only did she not report the alleged incident for two days after it occured, but she felt safe enough to stay there for two days after it had happened. Honestly, I would have been out of there in a heartbeat.
Secondly, I could see why she would shower, but why have consensual sex after the incident? I don't think I would want anyone to touch me after being volated.
Sounds like a bad case of conscience to me that she does not want to fully own up to.
Since the police do not have any real evidence I think that the two of you need to seek professional counseling so that you may move forward with your lives. If you do something stupid like seeking revenge, think about the consequences that your actions will have. It will not make you feel any better than you do now. All its going to do is send you to jail and he'll be free. Is that going to do you and your family any good? No it won't.
2007-05-28 19:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by J T 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry you two are going through this. There's a chance he may not pay in legal terms. Do ask an attorney. The fact evidence from the rape has since been destroyed is too bad. You both need to document everything that happens carefully.
You may build a strong case for sexual harrassment.
2007-05-28 19:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by reeksofhoney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about what happened to your wife. I feel that the police still could have done something about it. Have you seeked legal help? That may be the best way to go about the situation. But if that was me I think that I would have fought him. As I was saying...talk to a lawyer and see what he/she would have to say and take it from there. You and your wife will be in my prayers. And another thing put everything in the hands of Jesus he'll fix it. He may not do it right then and there. But things will happen when you least expect it.
2007-05-28 19:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by confused 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's examine the facts:
Boss threatens wife to keep a secret that she didn't even know happened. When questioned,, he says "Yes, I f***ed you and I liked it," clearly giving himself up. After 2 days of showering, swimming and more sex with you, she decides to tell you she was raped in her sleep. Hmm...did it ever occur to you to ask her how she felt safe that first night? Or even how she felt comfortable enough to have sex? Ok. Even with the initial shock and denial factor, she waited until you were driving home. She was lucid enough to wait until you had already left. I don't wanna be mean sweetie but I've got a bridge to sell you.
2007-05-28 19:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first. My son in law is a police officer. He said that if the police told you this. Then somthing is wrong. First the police should have taken all of the info from your wife. Then talk to the man. Got as much of the story as they could. You should try to talk to the watch commander. . Just don't walk away. If your stroy is true.
2007-05-28 19:18:26 · answer #8 · answered by Can Do 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Or you could always press charges anyway, I think you have that right. And then there is a civil suite. He may not get convicted, then again you may find others with a similar story just waiting to tell. In the end it is going to give him a bad name and cost him tons of money. It may give him pause before he tries something similar on some other poor woman.
2007-05-28 19:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmm. something like that makes me wonder why she didnt tell you sooner. Before showering, swimming and having sex with you. Seems she would have been in some kind of shock if it WASNT consentual.
I would pry that one open more.
And for you, if it REALLY boils down to him really raping her, make a police report ANYWAY. REQUEST IT IMMEDIATLY.
AND YES THER IS REASON...provided she is telling the truth....MAKE THEM WRITE A REPORT.
Next, File charges with the EEOC about the boss...NOW. Then sue the hell out of him. Do this NOW.
2007-05-28 19:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure your wife lays off the drugs a little better and be a better head of house sounds like yall both put yalls selves in bad situations live and learn take him to civil court.
2007-05-28 19:12:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋