I'm writting a story and I need to make my introduction more intreseting. HELP!?

Question

As my best friend Jenna and I arrived at her quaint little home in Gatineau and single thought shot through our minds instantaneously as we stepped onto her property, we finally were going to be allowed the privilege to stay home alone on a Saturday night.

Answer 1

The quaint little Gatineau home loomed over us like a beacon of freedom. As Jenna and I stepped onto her property, a single thought shot through our minds at the same time: we were finally going to be allowed the privilege to stay home alone on a Saturday night.

I have omitted “My best friend”, as I feel that this can be made clear later through the relationship they have, or just conversation. I tried not to change it too much (mostly just juggling the words round), because I think you’ve got some pretty good stuff there. Hope this helps more than it hinders!

Answer 2

Arriving at my best friends quaint yet charming home in Gatineau, our minds were in synch with each other. A single thought shot through our minds as we stepped onto her welcoming property, "We will finally be home alone on a Saturday night. No parents meant the ultimate freedom-- and the responsibility that accompanies it."

Answer 3

I'm not an expert, although I have written quite a bit and taken a few classes. Everyone I've talked to, agents, professors, and professional writers, say that you have to grab the reader with your first paragraph.

I'd try and figure out what your story is about, then sum it up with an interesting twist to end the first paragraph.

Let me give you an example from a book I wrote about two boys who find a body.

"I can honestly say the summer of 2002 was the most exciting one in my life. It all started when we found the body."

Answer 4

Start at a point of Action and then flashback to how you got yourselves into the circumsatnces. I am assuming that this story is about Jenna and your first night of being allowed to stay alone.