If you are disabled, how do you respond when someone asks what you do for a living?

Question

If you cannot / do not work for a living because you have a disability, (particularly if it is a psychological disability) how do you answer when a stranger asks you where you are working & what you do to earn a living?

This question is awkward enough, when inquired by a complete stranger whom one is meeting for the first time. I find it to be even more awkward when asked by an old friend or acquaintance, with whom I have not had any contact with for many, many years.

What is the appropriate way to respond such an inquiry?

Answer 1

This is a good question :)


I think if it is a friend or someone you want to be friends with.. it is best not to lie..as anybody worth having a friendship with ..would RESPECT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE..
I just say that I'm having some 'ME TIME' ..You know..think chilling, meditating etc
This works for me.. and I never get any strange questions after that..

Unlike others I would never say how I finance myself. As you wouldn't ask somebody with.. a job..how much money they get and how they support themselves.. So why should I?




But as for acquaintances and the rest.. I think this is the problem..because we should feel proud of who we are..but it is difficult because of conventions.. and prejudice..

Because I'm youngish..I can get away with saying that I'm a student. Which is kinda true because we are all still learning.
You could say that you are what ever your old profession is.. or even between jobs.. Because there are alot of people without employment..it is nothing to be ashamed about..
Then just move the conversation on to something else to avoid any awardness..

On the other hand if I see an old friend from high school who is a bit stuck up and judgemental.. I'm not brave enough to tell the truth yet unfortunately, that I'm an unemployed layabout..whoose full time profession is yahoo answers.. and SO WHAT?! I'M STILL A COOL PERSON.. AND IT IS NONE OF YOUR BEES WAX...
No I still care too much what others think..So I have some fun and make up a reaaaaally cool life.. You know .. I just got back from the Cannes film festival where.. I was the leading lady in the latest Moldavian film.. And I am like sooo famous in Moldovia that there is a bank note with me on it.. Oh and why am a bit fat, and look a little rough?? Ah..just like how Robert De Niro gained weight for his film..so am I'm for my next part too :P





Maybe the real question should be why do we as a society judge people on their professions so much???.. shouldn't we see they real people behind that. You know we are all valuable people..even if we don't have some so good job..

Answer 2

The problem obviously with telling people you are disabled, if you arent in a wheel chair or missing limbs is that they just dont believe it. You can just see them thinking "scam artist".

I generally say I am in Marketing, which was true, but I like some of the answers here.

I think that next time someone asks I will say "I used to work in Marketing, I have been a Family and Youth Counselor, I have a teaching certificate, and was also an Accountant, but right now I am unemployed and homelsss because I am disabled and employers wont hire the disabled. I imagine my next job will be begging on the street, so how about you?"

The one thing that happened to me that made me the angriest was when one of my kids friends mothers approached me and said "You know your kids would be much better off if you would just work. I hear MacDonalds is hiring you should try that. You dont need a lot of education or experience".

I just said "Really why dont you apply? There is no reason to be a stay at home mom when your kids are teenagers is there? I have ten years of Office Management experience, I imagine they would think I wasn't suitable for the position."

WHY do most people assume the disabled are uneducated and have no work experience and these are the ONLY barriers they have to not working? And we are just plain lazy and dont care that our kids are living in poverty.

Its so insulting.

Answer 3

I am a 27 yr old Severe Epileptic and I have been on full disability for about 4 years now. People ask me all the time what I do for a living and I always tell them I am a house wife........because that is the truth. You do not need to mention that you are on disability just say something like "I get by doing what I can" or whatever you can come up with. If they pursue the issue then just ask if you can change the subject. Remember that you do not need to be ashamed of who you are because your disability is just a small part of you it is not who you are as a person. Take Care and God bless!

Answer 4

I answer them truthful. I am disabled and if someone asks me I tell them so. If they look down on me for that reason, I don't want to be associated with these type of people anyways. I have worked for a living all my life, until I became disabled about 5 years ago. I paid into my taxes and my SS, so I do not owe anyone anything except for an honest answer. Lord bless

Answer 5

It a very miss understood disability psychological. And people try and judge be looks. You don't look it, as some disabilities are hiden. I have a mild physical and before I found work sometime people said your just not trying hard enough. Now I have one job that regular and another one with an art place sometimes.

If you have a medical certificate you could just say. I have a medical certificate to say I can't work, and it between my doctor and I.

Answer 6

No good answers. Although the truth can be fun with nosy strangers -- just state it straight out and with panache.

My disabilities are a well-kept secret. I can manage to work, but not have a life as well. I miss having a life. Chronic fatigue isn't something most people can get their actually brains around (they tend to get competitive about it), so I'm more likely to say something like my arthritis has been acting up again. Is there a physical component that you can use as a distraction? Or just something like my health hasn't been too good.

Or tell people you came into a small bit of money and are using the time to pursue your dream of writing a novel. ;-)

Answer 7

Well, if it was a stranger, I probobly would just say, oh gosh, never mind me, where do you work and what do you do? One of the other answerers had it right, they are probobly happier to talk about themselves and have a good listener.

Now, an old friend or acquaintance, I don't know. It would depend on the relationship I had with them in the past.

Answer 8

This is like the "how much do you weight, what do you eat" type of question. I just say I used to work at (insert job here) but now I had no choice but to be on disability. I really hope for a miracle to be able to work again

Answer 9

You don't have to tell people the truth. You can always lie and say you're working at Albertsons. If they see you two weeks later and say, "Hey man, I've been by Albertsons recently and I haven't seen you there," you just say, "Yeah, I'm not working there any more, I'm kind of between jobs right now." If they think something sounds fishy they'll kind of figure it out and they probably won't go probing into your personal life anymore.

After all, it's nobody's goddammn business anyway. You don't have to tell anybody you don't know very well that you are having mental/emotional issues and receiving SSI or SSD. If somebody has you in a corner you could just say, "my parent's support me right now," or you could even be more bold and say, "mind your own business." People who ask tactless questions (like, "how much money do you make?") are idiots anyway and you are under no obligation whatsoever to justify yourself to them.

Mayby, just maybe, people will ask questions to get you to divulge your issues. Sometimes people with f--ked up lives seek out other people with f--ked up lives--or people who they think have f--ked up lives--so they can get together and match horror stories. It is possible that if you tell somebody the truth (which, again, is your choice) they may in turn pour out their life stories to you. Personal pain and suffering are some of the most humanizing characteristics all human beings share in common, and by being honest about your issues you may just happen to make a friend.

Answer 10

Simply tell them that you are currently disabled, so that you don't work for your living right now, but that you get financial assistance from the government instead, which (of course, you hate). There's no need to get into the details of your disability. Further tell them that you hope to get off rid of your disablility as soon as possible, so that you can return to work, which you are looking forward to doing.