Can the custodial parent be ordered to pay for some of the cost to get the child to the noncustodial parent?

Question

Our son lives with his mother and her husband approx 100-120 miles away. for the last 5 years, she has refused to drive him to us or even meet us halfway. Not illness, storm or time constraints have affected her decision. Several times we have discovered she has been "in town" but still makes us drive out to get him, even on the same day...
Financially, they are much better off than us ( we have 2 more children, they have just the one) and gas & time are hard to deal with. We have had to call and cancel his visit if we do not have the money to drive both ways. Also our grandfather has been driving to get our son many many times because we can not afford to. Is there a court order that could be obtained to create a more financially equal obligation?

I am risking a lot to attempt this, she retaliates whenever we go to FOC...(we pay child support) we take him for weeks/months at a time and she does not want us to claim it. She bends over backward to withhold him when mad.

she moved away to live with her boyfriend in 2002...they married in 2004.
They have moved twice but in the same general area.
when he lived in our city, we would have him for every weekend and holiday, above and beyond the normal visitation rights. His father has made it perfectly clear to her that he would take him, she only uses it as leverage against us.
sorry about adding so much, but i am trying to answer some of the questions/assumptions being brought up. One is: the reason we have had him so much...we just want to. All the kids have an almost surreal relationship, since he moved away, they count the days till they can be together. There is no "picking on or fighting" like you would expect...they are like best friends.
someone made the comment about being financially equal except we have 2 additional kids...no, there is a household income level difference. She makes what our entire household brings in and her husband is in GM

she does not compromise. she does not feel it is any of her concern, if we can't make it, she uses this to show the boy that is father is 'letting him down

Answer 1

I would try something. Why don't you try for custody of your child? My x and I live about 50 miles away from each other and most of the time, we either meet half way or I'll take them to his neck of the woods and he brings them home. That way, each of us only makes one trip. You aren't being fair to your child when you cancel on him.

Answer 2

You need to get legal advice. Where we live you would be required to either meet half way or one drive him to your residence and the other return him. That way the cost is split between you. If he is older, 13 here, he can say who he wants to live with. Sounds like you need to look into this, and the sooner the better. If he really likes to be with you, and your children, then you need to do whatever it takes to ensure this happens. Would it be possible for one of you to get a second part time job to bring in that added extra gas money. My daughter works 2 jobs so that they can stay in the family home, and have mostly, the life they had before the divorce. Good luck. I know this is not easy... God bless you and your family.

Answer 3

Sorry, I read the last part and didn't realize you were talking about an ex. This is different as yes, if they move they have to pay at least half or meet half way to get the child to see the father. I would take it into court and make sure I did get to see my son when I was suppose too.

Answer 4

I don't remember exactly where I saw the info for this response, but I'm almost certain it does fall on her responsibility as much as yourself. Just out of curiosity who moved away? That, if anything would be the determining factor. Give the divorce attorney a call, shouldn't cost you anything. But he/she could give you the specifics on how to handle this better.

Answer 5

you are able to report for undue difficulty and ask for a transformation or that she share interior the fee of visitation because of the actuality that she moved so far away. you may prepare a fabric substitute of condition so as to get this substitute heard. I difficulty that because of the fact that's been 5 years considering she moved which would be no longer elementary to do in spite of the incontrovertible fact which you would be waiting to quote the recent little ones as a financial reason. this could have been completed on the time she moved in spite of the incontrovertible fact that fairly of money bypass after shared %. united statesand drop offs. this could be far greater user-friendly while one determine strikes farther away. in case you have stored reliable data of each and every of the ignored get right of entry to you additionally can bypass after her for contempt and ask for a clause to make it Police enforceable. the sorrowful area is while they continuously wreck out with this form of behaviour with out consequences it purely gets worse. He desires to coach her that it relatively is unacceptable and he won't tolerate it. He must additionally deliver her an digital mail (written evidence) explaining how perplexing the financial tension is for him and asking her to share interior the %. united statesand drops offs. i'm particular she'll answer with bypass %$#^ your self. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that courts prefer to work out that he made an attempt to artwork it out amicably until now searching for the courts intervention. reliable success.

Answer 6

Contact your local legal aid lawyer and ask them what can be done. Be prepared for a huge fight if you try to take this back to court.

Answer 7

you can go to court and modify it that both parties half to pay half to get the child back and forht it is not fair for you to pay the whole thing every time go to court and they will help you ...Good luck hon i wish you the best.....