When I look at my life, I see that maybe I created my own ups and downs in life. I was in an abusive marriage and left and went back so many times.
I felt so guilty for hurting my ex-husband. Yet, when we were together we never got along and maybe I never put forth enough effort.
I see other's who are in stable, happy marriages and wonder how their life is not full of problems like mine.
Did I create some of my own problems or are they just better at hiding their problems?
2007-05-28 04:16:04 · 10 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
We do create some of our own ups and downs. We may behave recklessly or thoughtlessly. We may not want to take responsibility of our own actions.
However, we or a loved one can get involved in an accident, someone close to us can die, we can lose our jobs and it is not always our fault... tragedies can happen and they will escalate further tragedies and it's not always anybody's fault. Things just happen.
Don't be so hard on yourself. True, you are responsible of your actions. You chose to stay in the marriage and went back, but thousands of women do the same. They're feeling hurt, scared, and lonely which is why they return to their abusive husbands.
You did not ask for the abuse.
Accept that this part of your life is over and accept your feelings.
They are a part of the healing process.
You created some of your problems, some of them came uninvited, now you will learn from them and live on.
As for the other people, what you are seeing are the appearances. People have all kinds of marriages but no one gets be the fly on the wall and see what's going on privately. So don't worry about that.
2007-05-28 06:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by rosaria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way your problems are self created, because every action has a consequence... but also others are able to chose how to handle the conflict... if a person just takes the problem without getting to the root of it... it builds up to a point where they can't stand it so they leave....
also... everyone has problems... lots of them too, but some ppl are better at hiding or dealing with them than others
2007-05-28 11:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by Calgorian 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes we are definitely responsible for our own problems and things such as ups and downs....It is due to negligence and misunderstanding and many other reasons..So I feel that if you get to know the mistake that you have done then you can easily rectify it by apologising him and definitely ur life will be beautiful...Never again misunderstand othes and even if it happens then wait for a while and start thinking why you are mistaking him again..Then you will go away from such thoughts and live your life happily.....
2007-05-28 11:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by sriram t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we do and a lot of times, others do. Don't blame yourself so much because no one in her right senses would intentional do herself harm or cause herself to suffer. Like in driving, no matter how careful you drive, you'll experience accident coz some stupid drivers bump you. As long as you do what you think is right is good enough. Move on. Do not linger on and stay miserable.
2007-05-28 11:57:05 · answer #4 · answered by beth_dyosa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some are better at hiding but most don't enter into a relationship knowing it might be sh*tty...but continuing to stay in it definetly makes us creating our own situation...and yes we do create our own ups and downs...because we have free will, we can pick and choose how and when we want to react in every situation.....we can also choose how we want to feel (which emotions) in a given siuation, they may or may not be what others might or might not do...but thats what makes us individuals....
2007-05-28 11:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by jonni_hayes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.....Yes, things don't just happen to us. We are participants and our actions contribute to what has happened. You'll have to accept your responsibility, forgive yourself, learn and move on.
I have been well served by these three guidelines -
- We are responsible for our own lives
- Actions have consequences in the real world
- Good things don't just happen, we have to make them happen
2007-05-28 11:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IMO, yes. We have a response to everything and anything that happens to us. Our ups and downs depend on how we feel in response to something.
2007-05-28 12:04:05 · answer #7 · answered by Venus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are absolutely interdipendent with our environment
we can make the difference if we really understand how
not all have the same circunstances
but ultimately we have the same nature
we all have the same emotions to deal with
2007-05-28 11:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by dreaming 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's called Karma.
2007-05-28 11:19:07 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is asking the question? problems are created out of your own delusion of who you are.
2007-05-28 11:26:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋