Marriage is the most important commitment you will ever make.why is that most couples opt to divorce instead *

Question

of working on the Marriage and getting to the other side together.. I know some Marriages are not meant to be and for them they need to divorce.Has anyone been in a Marriage that was not meant to be?

Answer 1

They either get married to young or they don't really discuss serious life issues prior to marriage. To many people think it's all bliss. It's no different than having a best friend. Some days you love them other days you want to choke them. But if it's based on something real those are just ups and downs which you will get thru.

Answer 2

Marriage is not the *only* and most important committment that people will make. Some people...it's finally owning that house that they've always wanted, others it's making a committment to yourself for whatever reasons that will be. Another reason could be their career. For me the most important committment that I've made is the one to myself. Everything else comes second. I think that the answer to your question is because marriage and family are so idealized and so advertised as this perfect thing that most people will get to that the reality of these situations are constantly overlooked. Marriage and family is not the end all and be all to life. And part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high is becuse most people don't stop to take the necessary time to get to know one another. We live in an instant society where everything must happen *right now.* people meet and the next thing you know they are getting married 4-6 months later. Nobody is taking the time to get to know one another. It's always *i gotta find a man* or *i gotta get married cause it's just what you do.* whatever happend to why you want to get married? what ever happend to actually taking your time to form this relationship so that you can be sure that you are with the right person? what ever happend to the fact that relationships take time no matter how much of a hurry you are in? what happend to that?

Answer 3

I have been in a few, and they all started with the best of intentions. I can't say it was all their fault, because sometimes I did not always do the right thing. I do not believe in staying in a marriage that should end, for any reason. If it is over, get out. Move on. I am a hopeless romantic, believe it or not. Which is why after some really bad marriages, I pushed on looking for the right man. And now, I do hope I have found it with my husband. That does not mean my marriage is perfect or that I have unreal expectations that it should be perfect. We have had our bumps and some amazing good times. But, should I feel that this to ever bottoms out, and I hope it does not, I have no fear of getting back out there and trying it all again. I do try very hard to keep my marriage on a solid foundation. And at times it is very hard to do. But, anything worth having is something that you have got to continually work on and do the upkeep. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think there are a lot of factors involved. Most people think it's supposed to be some kind of fantasy, and the minute it's not, they bail.

A breakdown in communication is, I believe, the reason why most people divorce these days. They stop talking to each other and start making assumptions, and, as a result, they grow apart.

My parents have been married for almost 30 years. They don't always get along. In fact, there are times when they hate each other, but there are also times when they remember why they decided to get married in the first place. There are ups and downs to any relationship, including marriage.

Answer 5

I think the problem is education about marriage in general. People today enter marriage with the idea already in their mind that if it doesn't work out, they can just get a divorce. They don't understand the promise of staying together for life and working through everything to keep the marriage in tact. Instead of them believing in 'till death do us part,' they believe in 'till it gets too hard to bother.' The sanctity and permanence of marriage is completely gone from our society. My parents have been married over 40 years. When I was a child, divorced parents were almost unheard of. But now, married parents are almost extinct. It's a shame.

My first husband left me for another woman after only 2 years of marriage. He filed for divorce, and I had no options. In California, we have the no-fault divorce law. It means that you don't have to have a reason to file. You can just file, and within a year, you are free to marry another person. I fought it as hard as I knew how, because I believe in working things out and staying together. But he didn't, and he left me abused and alone. However, after being alone for 4 years, I met a wonderful man who is now my husband. He treats me right, and also believes in the permanence of marriage like I do. We will be married 3 years in July, and we are truly blessed.

Answer 6

When my ex-wife told me that she wanted a divorce, I tried everything to "work on it" - counseling, therapy, everything...

But there comes a point where you just see that no matter what, the other wants the divorce and there is nothing you can do about it.

We were married for nearly 10 years - she came home one day and said she wanted a divorce. (we never really fought or anything...I thought she was joking).

After months of therapy and counseling she told me "It doesn't matter how much counseling or therapy we get - I still want the divorce...I only married you to get me out of my Mom's house anyway."

I filed the papers the next day. Would you have continued to fight for the marriage if you were told that? Why would you fight to keep someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Answer 7

My first marriage was abusive and if I hadnt left him I probably wouldnt be here now to answer this question. He had put me in deaths arms 2 times before I finally had the backbone to walk out the door. That is the kind of marriage that divorce should be made for.

Answer 8

Some feel that when certain aspects of the marriage fall by the wayside, there is no hope for reconnection and perhaps a parting of the way serves the best interests of everyone

Answer 9

No i havin't but i know how you feel , my parents got divorced when i was in 6th grade , which really bomded but if i was to ever doubt anything that happended i would just look at my mom and strong person she is now , and i still thank her a lot for all that she 's done in my life that it couldn't be any better than it is now .

Answer 10

Things happen that pull people apart sometimes. A marriage requires 2 people willing to work together and willing to compromise sometimes.