I caught my husband masturbating in toilet looking at porno.?

Question

This was the 1st time I caught him after married 8 years. I was shocked and felt very hurt and upset. I ask him why but he cannot answer and refuse to answer. He ask me never to ever mention or talk about it. I ask him whether he always does it all these while but he denies t. He says it was because I was pregnant and did not want to ask me to have sex with him because he feels that I might have difficulty to do it. Why men still masturbate even though he have good sex wih wive?

Answer 1

Masturbation is common among both men and women. Society in general often regards this as common and acceptable (so long as it is "secret"). Being "caught" masturbating is usually embarrassing for the "offender" and denied by many when asked openly.

This does not change the fact that in confidential surveys it is found that over 95% of men and 70% of women engage in this activity. Your husband has probably been masturbating since he was 13 and during the entire course of your marriage, pregnant or not. His excuse is more for you so that you are not quite as hurt.

My advice to you is to recognize that this is natural and normal behaviour and to talk about it with him as such. Encourage him to share more of himself with you and explore the possibilities of broadening your sexual experiences together.

Explore your world.....together
rk

Answer 2

I am amazed you have been married 8 years and not realised that your husband has a sex drive! He is no different from any other man. All men do this. Because he felt that you might not like it, he hid in the toilet. Because you found him, he feels guilty and ashamed. That is why he doesn't want to talk about it or mention it again. He feels bad. But really there is nothing for him to feel bad about. As I say, ALL men do this. He is no exception!

He didn't want to ask you to have sex with him because he was putting you first. He wasn't doing it to upset you or hurt you. He was doing it because he felt he needed to find some sexual relief. It is a great shame that he couldn't have had some 'hand relief' with you present and made it a joint experience. You wouldn't have needed to have full intercourse.

Men have higher sex drives than most women so want/need it more. I think what you both need to do is have some quality time together, not necessarily sex, just closeness etc.

As for the porno bit, yes it might be an unpleasant idea that he's looking at other women, but please don't upset yourself about it. they are just pictures, it's not the same as being with a real person that you love.

Answer 3

Caught Masturbating On Toilet

Answer 4

Get over it all ready! Masturbation is a normal part of life. Maybe you should pop in a porno and try it some time. Maybe then you wouldn't be such an uptight *****. I would figure that my husband needed to get off w/ out worrying about my needs. Just like I do sometimes. No big deal. As long as our sex life is still good. Who cares?

Answer 5

I can understand your plight melisa, as he has had to turn to someone else to satisfy his needs rather than you. That can make you feel unwanted and even worse than you probably felt before.

I was thinking about the effects that masturbation has on a man in the practical in respect to satisfying his own needs and then going limp and getting on with the business of his day. Then when it comes to making love having difficulty and being impudent because he has masturbated and his mind set has changed from satisfying you to satisfying himself.

Sex should be enjoyed not a dirty subject that can not be discussed, or explored where the couple set boundaries, trust love and respect one anther.

He is probably under the illusion that making demands of you in your condition can cause you distress etc. So please do not be too hard on your husband.

There is nothing wrong with him making love to you whilst you are pregnant, in fact my ex-wife and I were instructed to go home by the Midwife when she was expecting and gone into labour as the sperm is supposed to help bring on the contractions etc. It can be fun trying to find a comfortable position with out trying to be graphic.

There was a book about Parenting that mentioned it by Dr. Miriam Stoppard.

I suggest you speak to your husband honestly about it.

Please try to forgive him.

Answer 6

May I say I think you're making too much out of this. He's a grown man, in his own home; he's not a child. So what if he wants to masturbate ? So long as it doesn't take away from the good sex you and he have, this is just a physical release to him.

Look at it this way--at least he's at home, by himself, rather than out somewhere, with another woman.

In the future, when you find your hubby masturbating, suggest to him that he lay down and you'll take care of "it" for him. He'll greatly appreciate your gesture. And once he sees that you're not making a big deal about masturbation or porn, he won't have to try to hide them, or feel guilty about them.

Answer 7

Some men are afraid of rejection from their partner and do it to relieve their tension. Some women are perfectly happy to give `relief' to their man but others are not interested unless they are enjoying sex too. Try to get him to talk about it and perhaps agree to help - even make the first move on him occasionally so that he feels really wanted. We can all get a little selfish after being married a while and its good to play at sex and pleasure each other to rekindle the spirit of the relationship - even when perhaps you are not feeling very sexy.

Answer 8

Men have sex on the brain alot more than women[some anyway].Honey, be glad it was at home with porn in the bathroom than out finding his lust with someone else.If he dosent open up about it,maybe its because he feels embarrassed right now.It is not always about having a wife there to fulfill needs.Please dont be hard on yourself.Maybe the answer he gave you is the truth.In that case tell him thank you for putting you first and next time he should ask how you are feeling.he dosent sound like a pervert from what you wrote,so kiss your husband and let it go!!!

Answer 9

Hey this is not a big problem or an issue, why can't he have private time to himself....I would rather see him on the toilet masturbating than to be sitting around wondering if he's having an affair with another woman....

You should lighten up.....and not make this into a big issue......he is entitled to fantasize, whether it's with you or not....and you should try masturbating yourself.....it's called getting to know YOURSELF.

Good Luck -

Don't Sweat the Small Stufff it could be much worse

Answer 10

Excuses, excuses...It does not mean he is not having good sex with his wife! It means he is thinking of self,the things he is doing leads to other sexual issues in the long run.Promiscuity for one thing....he will not be able to help it, it is inevitable. You caught him and he did not want to talk about it. He gets into denial,and he lies....He blames it on your pregnancy and did not want to ask you for sex,yet you believe your sex life is goooood! Now you are hurt,surely you do not believe he just started to do this since you were pregant and married...right? I have know people; for years that have been together and found out shocking things about each other,some worse than this....this is a far cry from simple my dear this falls under major....do you feel inadequate sexually,like you need some help. It is not about him what about you,what do you want? Maybe if he had asked you, and told you about his habit. But he did not is it a secret he is ashamed about but he enjoys it so much he had to go to the toilet and look at porn there too. Everything come to the light sooner or later....What is love.....8 years of marriage and counting! At this rate I do not see a future in this....